SoloarJustine

Young, Confused, and Wreckless.
2012-05-14 09:29:03 (UTC)

Thoughts about my situation. I'm torn.

Dear Online Diary,
I don't know what to do anymore. I have school in 2 hours. But I absolutely do not feel good. I had so many anxiety attacks yesterday, I'm so afraid of whats going to happen today. I have to go or we might have the state (Truancy) over for a house inspection, or something like that, and lets just say..Its not its cleanest. And I'm afraid of them sending a court date for me to appear in court because I have been absent so much.. It would be $500 for us just to appear in court.. I don't want to be taken away from my family..I love them to much. I feel numb. Lost in my own words. Speechless.
I guess it doesn't help that I am crying my eyes out at 4 Am just because I'm afraid what my dad will say if I tell him I can't find the strength to go to school. Having all those anxiety attacks in one day really does wear you out.

Jobs.
Oh gosh. The Job hunt is on. I really need to straighten up my act, stop missing school, and get a job so I can help pay for the things my parents are struggling with. I'm 14. So this means I have to get a workers permit. And I don't think I can with missing this much school..
I'm stressed.

..I'm so scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young..

Torn apart,
Soloar Justine.♥




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