Gohary1993

Stranger's Mind
2012-04-29 21:25:32 (UTC)

Today felt like my first day

Today felt like my first day in college, it was a sunday I didn't feel quite good , I felt very bad today , and I had alot of negative energy coming outside from me... everyone felt it and when peoplee feel that they tend to get away and keep away.. now I have a problem with my friends, I don't feel like they like me anymore , one friend z all he cares about is girls , it fawkuin really gross me out..... he's supposed to be my best friend. and now all my friends are changing to him....
It's like he infected them.
I can't talk to H because she is so ..... dunno weird or sumthing
You can't easily joke around with her like R. you have to know each and every single word to say and not do anything wrong... I always do everything wrong
And then I get caught up in being the bad man !! ofcourse Z is on her side , never seen such a person it really really disgusts me
If I talk to them he is all into me and joking with me if I dont and he feels like I am npt acceptable by girls he stops talking.
Really gross
The other one is M all he does is tell what to do and what to not...
And then Comes A he always search for his personal benefit
And then there is O who is I don't know.. he's good I guess.
Anyways today Was bad so after leaving college feeling the worst mood ever... the fact that I did very bad on my calculus quiz made me feel very bad.
After college I went to the gym then I got a phone call to pick up my mom from my grandma's so I had to go back and get her then I went again to the gym then I came home and slept 1 hour then I woke up to study but I couldn't so I ordered some food and now I am sitting here writing this shitty shit....

I know what I need to feel better
I always like attention... I need to be the center of attention again in college... or with my friends.. like I always was.
How am I going to do that?
well I know all they care about now is girls and girls and girls...which is disgusting
anyways
If I get girls ( the hottest which they don't know) , while ignoring them and telling nothing about it and letting them just watch and see
I will be the centre of attention again and everyone will be sticking up to me................. :)
But I have to be ignoring them... and living my life. :)
what is making me feel bad this month too that I am about to fail in college in some subjects
I am in a conflict between the fact that I always seek success and the fact that I am failing.




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