John Doe

Chronicles of a Drifter
2012-04-24 23:26:52 (UTC)

entry 58

So I think I just just call my diary "The Great Jason" to parodize (that is sooo not a word) the Great Gatsby. Nick narrates the story like he adores Gatsby, maybe he did. They say Hemingway was a fag. Maybe he was since he was all dark and gloomy. I would be too, even worse if I lived around that time. Repressing all those feelings and urges. Christians and Catholics are assholes. I am Catholic -_- but most of all I label myself...agnostic? I think I should make my own religion where God truly is all loving. These diary entries could be my bible scriptures..no jk. Id probably be chased out of town with torches and pitchforks. Well anyway, I didn't get to talk to Jason so much today. I really miss him. I'm being too easy, I gotta be distant and play hard you know? But..would he care? I don't know, I don't think so. I saw him walking with Kendal and I saw the way he looked at her. He still likes her and that's natural. You don't get over someone in a day. If you do, please tell me how you do it. Write a damn book , you'll be rich. I was bugged by the way he turned his head and stared at her..it just...the green monster emerged inside of me. And that's natural aswell. I have to distance myself to have him run to me. I won't say hi tomorrow, I won't fucking go looking for him. That will make a gap that he will have to fill. UNLESS he truly doesn't give a motherfuck. Then it's no sweat off his back. I keep having freakin.g fantasy scenarios in my head... like. Maybe I'll run into him in the A-building bathroom where dudes don't go often and he talks about his favorite subject again, "rape". here let me write it down how my maladaptive daydreams painted it.
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Walk into the bathroom and see's Jason on the last urinal of the bathroom, he was done when I got in there.
"Oh God, no, you are not in the bathroom." I teased Jason and flirted.
Jason smirks at me like he usually does and says "Yeah, I am Quarlos and you better watch out because I'm gonna rape you." He is only joking of course.
"Oh God, I'm so scared, please Jason, spare me the rape." I beg sarcastically while I mess up my hair in the mirror.
"Cmooon, Quarlos" Jason puts his hands on my arms and starts leading me into the stalls.
"Oh God, you are sooo not hahaha" I laugh out those words while he pushes me into the stall and gets inside with me. He locks the door and stays inside there with me with his hands on his side and that goofy smile he always has. He has no bad intentions but of course I'm the one that has to push yet lure.
"Your sooo cute." I say as if I were talking to a baby. I put my hands on his cheeks and shake his head .
Ughh I'm too Goddamn lazy to write out the daydream, but it was this one and then it was one with both of us going to Redondo Beach at night. That would be amazing if we could both go and just cause mischief or just relax and take a stroll out at night you know?
Well I guess I'll start by writing about what me and him did today. Well...we didn't do anything but we did talk and stuff. Enrique was avoiding janice all throughout break and throughout the rest of the day too. But at break he sent me to go and lookout and while I was headed over there, jason walks by and he's going up the stairs. I stay silent cause he didn't see me so I say whatever. I put my hand over my eyes like a soldier to see if she's there and I guess jason saw and he calls out to me
"Quarlos!" I look and smile at him, but at the same time I make the signal to kix that the coast is clear. Jason starts walking to me like he's going to attack me or something but ends up giving me a hug. Finally! I got to hug him by his waste and he huggedon my arms lol. Well, it was a nice hug. He was going to go up the stairs but I told him to wait for me and I followed him up there. I asked him, why do you treat me like shit? Just to ask, you know. He gave me that kiddie answer, I gave you a hug! And I forgot what I said, something about hate hugs and shit. Well...yeah we were walking upstairs when sandy had to come and kill it. Ughhh BITCH! He put his arms around me and yelled at her "he's mine!" And he has no idea how right he actually is. But goddamnit sandy, everytime. Can you let me have some time with Jason? BITCH MA! This is making me jus get less and less attracted to women. Shit man, girls think they can barge in on two dudes talking and I guess they can but.. NOT TO ME! Well jason wanted to leave but I was so bummed and I held his hand and held on tight when he was trying to leave..I didn't want him to go. )= jason...well he ended up leaving and I was going to ditch sandy but she was stalling and made me giving her like 5000 kisses. She was trying to stop me from being with Jason. I just made her go to class and faked tht I was going to mine but waited for Jason. He came back and said it again, quarlos. And remember how yesterday? I was thinking at night about how..quarlos was queer carlos? Well guess what? Once again, I was right on the money. Apparentally (by the way, Jason is a big liar so he made this story up, I can tell already.) His dad had a friend named Carlos who then went gay and changed his name to Quarlos. -_-. Nice. I wonder..is that an insult? Is there a nice thing to call a gay person? Homo is rude, gay is rude, faggot is rude. Well they're only rude because people make them have negative cnnotations like something that is lame is called "gay". So..idk. do you mean that in a bad way? Idk. Well I talked to him afterwards to about sandy..he just smiled and then once again, the cunt of Kennedy totally cockblocked me. Cunts man, these vaginas are reallly messing up my alone time. Can I have a sausage fest for just 30 minutes? Too much to ask? I miss him now <3 I hope that I dream of him. Well...yeah. I told him that if he was going to get bac with sandy then he should tell me because I had a plan. He said he never would. I told him he would and just made him knuckle it. That's what happened with Jason though. And I really want to text him but won't...tomorrow its time to play. HARD and FAR.
Kendal regrets dumping him, but she knows she made the right decision. Sandy finally told her mom and the guy is in jail now. Thank God. She made a good choice but its not like she had one, they saw him . Kike avoided janice all day. Me and sandy got into a fight because she saw I was acting weird when she was cockblocking me and Jason and thought he had told me stuff about her but no...I was acting weird bcause I wanted you to LEAVE! David thinks Jason looks like a little kid xD funny.. never thought of it but he sort of does.. well anyway should be in bed now. Its midnight. Later.




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