Time Flies

Tempis Fugit
2012-04-17 14:55:20 (UTC)

curse

Some people are toxic. They seep their crap, their toxic venom all over. These are the people who I seem to be the

Talked to my wife last night. I was writing this email in response to my dad's email. A successor to the one where he told me what a disappointment I am. To sum up his second, he said he was sorry, but he absolutely meant what he said.

Nice.

I don't think I thought I was fragile. I am apparently quite fragmented in my head again. Why does he have this control over me still?

I wrote this response to him...

____________
Dad-
I have probably written this email 100 times in my head. None of them will written or sent.

You have every right to be irritated with my "performance". The rest was cruel.

I don't know what to say to you except this brings so many feelings I thought were gone from what I thought was so long ago.

I am the man I am. I am proud of who I am.

I love you, and that is really all I want to say for now.
___________

So my wife said she was proud of me. She cried a bunch. I told her I was sorry I had so much baggage... she is apparently thinking I should talk to someone about it.

I think I'd rather get a tattoo, cut myself or just dive off a cell tower... or maybe have a truly life screwing up affair...

I told her I was glad she had no baggage from her past anymore.

She could not look me in the eye. She said she "thought" is was all gone.

Fuck me... where's my gun.

Why can't I find stability anywhere.

Maybe I should just empty the bank account, buy a motorcycle and see how far to Mexico I can get...




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