The Underground Woman

Out of Spite
2012-04-16 09:41:58 (UTC)

Understand Hurt

Don't people understand that when you go through a break up with someone who you cared for and someone who taught you new things you just hurt? you feel lonely and ignored? Someone who you thought cared for you the way you cared for them.

Maybe one reason why this hurts so much is because you let him know you. You told him some of your secrets and some of them he persecuted you for but he made sure that you were still "perfect".

Maybe you blame yourself for what happened. 'Cause lets face it, you blame yourself for everything. You blame yourself for telling him all the things you keep hidden in that locked box next to the corner in the wall. You blame yourself for: not being social like he is, not letting your hair down even though he asked you multiple times, not letting him touch you like he wanted...

Can't people understand that when you just feel hurt you don't mean to :act differently, not put "lol" after every 4 words, or feel like you just don't care anymore?

when other people hurt, they cry and let it all pore out. When i feel hurt, i put on a fake smile and wait till all the lights are turned off in the house and i cry myself to sleep. I wait to feel the hurt. And when i can't i cry silent tears.

Now i'm not gunna kill myself over this even though it feels like im already dead. It would be easy though. I have prescription pills. And lets face it.. anything that is prescription and that you have a lot of can do some damage if not all.

*sigh* it'll be just another night of tears.

People ask me if i cared about what happened and i say that i do... I just dont want him to know how much i do.

``Rina/Deadsoul/Sabrina




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