My struggles!
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2012-04-08 19:10:48 (UTC)


I messed up big time. If I have never written that message to Tim, I would not be in this situation that I am in. I only wanted a break for a while, not permenantly and now he is with someone else. I jsut can't seem to win when it comes to relationships. My husband leaves me because he does not want to be stuck at home and raising a family, but yet he is with someone that does not like to go anywhere. I don't get it. I asked Tim what it would take for us to be able to get back together and well I was not thrilled with the answer. So it looks like I will no longer be searching for the one that I am to be with. I seriously thought it was Tim, and then I had to go and screw it up. I seem to do that a lot. I am a no good person. My life consists of my children and me. Wow so exciting. I mean I love my kids, but adult interaction would actually be great at times. I just really hate my life. I am not worth a shit, I am fat, I am ugly. I mean I could just go on and on and on about all my faults. I hate myself with a passion and am even at the point where if I were to die in an accident today, I would be ok with that. My kids and family would be better off anyways. I do not have the courage to do it myself, but if God thinks I need to be home with him, I will not stop him from taking me.

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