Sylvia

Remember
2012-03-26 12:30:40 (UTC)

Min bror

This weekend was my bror's birthday party. We had it on Saturday. The beginning of the day I played with him, once I did most of my chores. After that, I pretty much stuck to my room. He had a lot of his friends over, so I'm sure he barely missed me. At the end of his day, once his friends left (oh, one note- a girl from the party, she stayed in my room for a bit...she got into EVERYTHING. She was taking everything out, asking me about it, and sometimes didn't even put it back. Also, she couldn't seem to be still and do the same thing for more than five minutes. It was...annoying), I talked with him for a little bit- he wanted to watch my shows with me, but Dad came in (drunk) a few minutes before they started he said Jake had to go to bed. He wasn't too happy about that. I wanted to spend yesterday, Sunday, playing with him, but I wasn't able to because Dad had me out working all day. :/ Poor kid. Then again, today is his REAL birthday- but he said he wasn't happy about it, or didn't care, because he wouldn't get anything special.
I wanted to make him something, but with his attitude- him thinking he needs toys and such- I don't know if I'll do it. He DOES need to learn...well, he needs to get away from the thoughts of the world. I wonder how to do that, though? Not in the harsh, unpurposeful way that Mrs. V and Dad are showing him- he'll never get/understand that anyway.
I think I have figured out why I think I was so much nicer as a child- I never asked for anything, as my mom says. Jake, first of all, hasn't really been tought with all of the religious teachings. I went to a Catholic private school, and thus learned quite a few more values. Also, Jake has been under dad for all or most of his life. When I was younger, dad was never home, only mom, so I didn't pick up my dads cruelness as Jake is.
The only questions I have are- How can I get him away from Dad? Can I teach him to be nice? How can I teach him what he needs, without being mean or anything like that...

It's so difficult sometimes. How can I save us both...?

~Give it up, give it up, give it up now...
How many times can I break before I shatter?
...All that I feel is the realness I'm faking,
All that I know is the time that I'm wasting...~

Ok, today, I am taking a four-hour-long test. It's revise&editing, as well as writing- three stories. After I'm done, I think I'll study my Finnish (I seem to be picking it up quickly, which is a very good sign~ The sooner I become fluent, the sooner I can go. Maybe, one day, I could surprise Sussu by coming there :3 That'd be nice. I'm thinking- maybe, just maybe... my birthday could be spent in Europe or Asia. That'd be the best birthdya, EVER.

Farvel, Sofi




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