My wife has dug her feet in and not ready to reconcile. She wants us to leave together for the sake of the kids but nothing between us. She is adamant. She went away over the weekend of mother’s day with the wives in our close family friends circle. My guess from what I had is that they kind of wanted her to reconcile with me and move on but she is not having any of it. I even got a txt message from one of them encouraging me and saying she will be praying for us. I was very surprised as I though the head lines of gambling and escort girls would have disgusted her. My wife says she doesn’t want to talk about it again and doesn’t want any of our friends to talk to her about it again but this is contrary to the report I get. I suspect she doesn’t like what the friends her telling her.
I don’t really know what to make of the whole situation, some days are better than others. I struggle some days. It would have been easier if I felt it was all my fault and she had no blame whatsoever in the state our marriage is in but she has a part to play so I have to balance how I try to plead with her because going forward (if there is at all) we need to ensure we address all the issues including where she has gone wrong. I have identified 3 issues each. Mine are :- (1) Escorts – Don’t hide behind any reason, be sorry and don’t do again (2) Finance – Stop making unilateral decisions – discuss with her (3) Don’t avoid confrontations and do what you please so as to avoid arguments. Ensure that anything you disagree with is brought to light and discuss. Hers (1) Stop all these “innocent” relationships with (ex) colleagues – it is destroying your marriage (2) Finance – be more transparent with your finance and be realistic with his finance (3) Detaching yourself from him all these years has done major damage to your marriage – start rebuilding a loving marriage.
I need to enter a zone. This is the only way I can survive this loneliness. I just need to be comforted and longing for love….my zone will be a zone where I am one with God (Prayer/quiet time), I am on top of my career objectives and business targets and focus on my kids.