broken hearted girl

love problems
2012-02-28 00:52:33 (UTC)

got to catch up..

Well so much have happened sense i last wrote in my diary but i found out that im pregnant and i go to the doctor next week just to check to see how far along i am. ugggghhh i would be so much happier if me and my boyfriend could get along better but we have come to an agruement more space for ourselves. i don't stay with him nomore but he been stop spending the night with me sense january. alot of things stopped guess his love stopped also.


i will never understand men at all.but we can't help who we love but we can help who we get our children by. now i feel like all his other babyma's. just another peice of ass he accidentially nutted in. he say he loves me and he ain't leaving but we all know men lie and they will cheat. ain't caught him with no other woman yet but he have been talking dirty to them in a sexual way. don't know how that ain't cheating if you wanting to fuck other females.i found out this before i was pregnant last month.

everytime he gets mad he want to run to other females he said he never slept with any of them i don't know who knows. if he did sleep with anyone of them he would tell me he told me about sleeping with his babyma after we first started talking. that was hard to get over.but i managed probably by doing my dirt also the ones he would beat my ass about. but we ain't fought or been hitting on each other sense i been pregnant. don't know how long that going to last i guess that y he keeping his distance from me also.

we agreed that we would get engaged or married whenever we both got a job.Thank God cause i ain't want no child and we ain't married or not even thinking about marriage but we need an income to get a place to get married. we already said we ain't shacking anymore.i finish school in july instead of dec of this year sense i done got pregnant i had to move back home with my mom so i can sleep in a decent bed etc.but after i have it want be no room hardly and i can't stay here and the baby to housing authority be tripping so that y im going to just get my diploma so i can gone and start working asap and get my own place.

and my boyfriend/babydaddy is looking for work don't know who will start first don't matter but i want to marry when i also have a job cause i honestly do need to go and do something everyday so i can keep all these bad thoughts out my mind.but if he ain't workinng and i am im still going to have to get engaged i don't want my baby growing up and his daddy stay over here and i stay over there and he come when he want. no i want my baby to have a ma and dad not half of us but all of us.

so i wish myself luck working for the da's office for my internship and hopefully working full time when i finish college in july!!! ima make good for me and my baby if my boyfriend dont marry me right off. but i love him stil at the end of the day just can't wait till he get his shit together.




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