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2012-02-21 02:02:22 (UTC)

Typical Night

I am soo sick of being fine until he walks through the door and then it all goes to hell he puts me in such a bad mood state of mind I am just so tired of it how can someone tell me how I feel who the fuck knows but me I am just so sick of all this shit I would rather be alone and deal with myself and my kids that have to deal with someone else also I am soo sick of that so sick of him complaining about me so I dnt want to fucking go shopping for myself I rather shop for my kids and my home and make sure the house and them have everything needed do I really fucking matter wat does he want for me to wake up everymorning plaster on some makeup put on a glam dress and heels to wash some dishes thats not me I am not that type of person I am a sweats and t-shirt sneakers person I have two kids I dnt really care wat people think of me as long as my kids are clean and looking clean I am ok that is all that matters to me. And then I am always the one with a problem and issue yea I have an issue I have a problem its him hes never around or anything yea I appreciate the help with the bills but damn sometimes I need time too whatever we dnt even have a relationship we have a partnership he is more my roommate than partner we dnt touch we barely talk I think we just settle for the kids thats it nothing more nothing less I think we love each other but I dnt think we are in love with each other. I am actually to the point that if he leaves I will be ok I have been through so much and he has put me through so much that at this point the life I live is kind of just for me and my kids I am just kind of upset that I am unemployed at the moment and i am looking so hard but once I do find one which I am waiting for some people to call me I am def going to work and going to get my shit back on track like I had it and I was doing fine he was living in my house everything was mine I paid for it handled my own and now i have to depend on him I dnt like it at all especially when hes throwing it in my face 24/7 smh well till later