All that is
Riddle me this??
When there's nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire.
So what the fuck? I'm wondering if this morning really happened? She calls me and tells me that it's gonna be an 'international' thing: 'word on the street is that you won't be able to be part of our team for the quiz, so it looks like you might have to find another team to join.' sad face. sad face.
I'm sure it wasn't her idea - she said that the gist she gathered from reading emails was that since I wasn't a part of THAT group, and they were 2 people over, someone needed to jump the ship as the max was 6.. :-(.. So we left it at that. then this morning I come in to her voicemail. what was even more of a kick in the teeth was that i got excited about it, thinking it was good news/juicy goss about som1 i liked possibly (mind you i do like about 3 diff people up there). SO what i was going to say, before i digressed, was I thought it was super cheeky because i was the one who approached her with wanting to join teams, and she said to me, i haven't even given it a thought.etc, and that that she didn't at least try and say we'll speak to ami, nothing's been finalised yet, we'll see if we can sneak in a few numbers etc, or have her make an exception... she just.
Got that feeling i tend to get and have come to recognise as being triggered by rejection or disappointment: somewhere between hurt, embarrassment and resentment.
stop living in fear that you might be boring EVERYONE - I hate the faux cheerfulness I have to assume when I call someone; the awkward pauses; the way you can never hang up until you've put the next social rendezvous firmly in the diary; the anxiety that you might be boring them.
"There are more than two billion global internet users… we aim to connect with them all." - Mark Zuck... (Don't you love that insidious word, "connect"?)