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liljourney
2012-02-08 22:17:49 (UTC)

The Day Before

Today's the day before the start of my IVF journey. I'm scheduled to start Lucrin jabs tomorrow upon meeting my doctor. I'm having mixed feelings but definitely, much of it are feelings of anxiety and sadness (why can't everything be natural like many others?). I cried a bucket this afternoon especially after watching Giuliana & Bill. It's so apt cos the episode was on their 2nd IVF journey. I'm truly scared of the egg retrieval procedure. No one will ever understand how scared I am even thinking of having to go through it. And worse, I'm even scared having to even think of the possibility of a failed cycle. That would even be more painful after all the positivity and effort etc. i'm really trying to keep my spirits high, telling myself that perhaps this will be it. I'll have my baby at the end of the cycle. God, please.

Tomorrow morning, I'll take an early pregnancy test before setting off to see my doctor. Just in case. We weren't supposed to have sex during this cycle but we didn't know. So, u may guess what happened. Now, I better have the test, to play it safe. Just last week, I was so dizzy that I vomited. Who knows that may be a sign of pregnancy and I wouldn't want any Lucrin to harm my pregnancy. The only problem is that tomorrow would be Day 21 which is a ill too early to test but oh well.

I don't think I can sleep well tonight cos I have a long-awaited dream that has yet to come true. And tomorrow is the start of making that dream of mine a possibility.




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