Phillip Wilson

Amazingly, I survived my Life
2011-09-12 00:00:05 (UTC)

1981 REVIEW (PART FIVE)

23 September-11 October, Fayette/Alabasta/Jasper/Marion, Al.
Prattville/Eufaula/Troy/Homewood, Al.
Pascagoula/Picayune/Hattiesburg, Ms.
Slidell/Abbeville, La. (continues)

Jeanne Holveck let me have some White in Panama City. She put some in the some container that had contained the Bob Kelly Clown White that I had borrowed from Mac (24-hour Man) early in the season. When I purchased the make-up in Pensacola, Florida, last Monday, I bought a small container to repay Jeanne, partially, and settled the debt to Mac with the Make-up Jeanne gave me in Panama City. Why a way to settle debts
I received my weekly 'peanuts' of $65.71 in Panama City last Saturday.
I bet Gary Holveck that Panama City was at least 150 from Troy, Al. The bet, made last Friday night, was for $2.00.
The route slip said 128. The actual milage were 133. My luck with Holveck has cost me $6.00.
All season long I heard the name Big John Strong, a person somehow connected with the circus. Well, about 3 weeks ago, Gary and I were taking after the show, and he recommended John Strong as an employer; he is a promoter-circus owner in California. The next day I got his telephone number and address from Gary.
Like always, I think about something at length before taking action, It wasn't until last Friday in Troy that I decided to call Mr. Strong. It cost me $2.65, on the 3 try, to speak with his wife, and find out he was aay on business. And we talked just a little over a minute.
It was suggested I call back Monday.
The call in Penscola Monday was charged to Mama's phone, but no answer was received after 3-4 attempts.
Again charging the call to my Alabama "office," I telephone John Strong yesterday around 10:45 A.M. this time (8:45 A.M. in California).
I talked with John Strong.
His winter dates were already booked up. He suggested that Isend him some jpoctures for employment with his tent show, to start in February. He said he never heard of me. I almost said, "I never heard of you before 3-4 months ago," but I didn't.
Hid tent show doens't interest me in the least; it is for beginners.
I felt "uncertain" about working for John Strong, in the first place. I am looking for a 'higher' step.

(10th) The second day of a 2-dayer. It is around 9:30 A.M., and getting hot. It was very humid yesterday. My head sweated, cancelling the hair-washing I did 2-hours previous.
The only sigh of a cold I have is a runny nose. The sniffles and ocassional cough is a nuances when doing mime.

(11th, About 7:50 P.M.) Four more weeks.
Yesterday was pay day.
It was mid-morning before set-up was started. Doc lives in New Iberis, around 20 moles away. He spent most of the day at home; I put the cookhouse tent up, and also, with somne assistance from Charlie Moyer, did the bandstand and bac oor curtain. The shows were at 2:00 and 5:30 P.M. I just made the Come-in if the first show. Boy, am I tired!
In the morning of the Panama City, Florida, stand (Oct. 3), I travelled the 3/4 miles to a laudry and did 3 loads of clothes. During this time, I shopped at the Unclaimed articles sale that was being held outside the laundry. On 3 different 'trips' I purchased a belt, 2 small square mirrors (5 cents a piece), a red rayon turtleneck (ladies), some underwear (one red pair and one cotton ladies' pair), the botom of a brown ladies' bikini, and maybe some other odds and ends. All of this probably cost $3 or less.
I went to sleep at 10:00 last night; around 3:00 this morning, in Slidell, there were turmoil. The police arrested John Lewis, Gary Holveck, and Howie (back door). Gary Horveck was just walking his dog and was taken. There were some kind of batle with a stake, and a Mexican lady and a guy was ivolved. John Lewis was hit in the nose with a stake by the female. I heard other details of this 'party,' but I really don't know what happened. Everything was worked out, though. It cost Hoxie Tucker $1500 to get John Lewis out of jail.
Did I really miss anything?

13-14 October (Tuesday-Wednesday), Bogalusa/Brookhaven, Ms.

(Morning) It is cool this time of the day.
52 performances in the season.
The first show (6:00 P.M.) yesterday in Bogalusa, La., was probably the worst show of the entire season, as far as the nature of the audience. Only 3/4 of the seation had been erected; these were all filled, and ground space were used.
The kids were monsters. It was apparent from the moment they started to come in. The kids ran like captured animals released. This is always a sign of 'hell' to came.
I was pinched, jumped upon, hit.
One group of 11-13 years of ages (?), mostly males, followed me, talking nasty. They were trying to be grown-up, more than they were assholes.
I had to take a break during the Come-in, in the back yard.
I couldn't even finish the intermission.
During intermission, on little kid climbed upon my back; I shook him to the ground, dropping him.
On the opposite side of the tent, a monster was pinching me in the butt with his left hand; I struck him in the mid-fore arm with a back swung fist.
Mostly, though, I just ignore the sticking out of tongues and other forms of 'harressment.' Bringing attention to it would only re-inforce it.
Where are the parents during all this? Do they think such benavior cute? The Kibbutz way of raising kids is beginning to look more attractive: children are kept together in one dormitory, the parents "having" them only 3-4 hours a day

The first show (6:00 P.M.) in Brookhaven, had a full house. Even though it wasn't as bed as Bogalusa the previous day, there were still rowdy kids that interfered with my work.

15-25 October, Natchez/Grenada/Greenwood/Louisville/Quitman/Koscirsko/Meridian, Ms.
Forest, Ms./De Funiak Springs, Florida

(15th, Morning) Today is the first day of what may be a 3-day stand; it is scheduled for 2 days, but, according to the posters and newspapers, a 2:00 P.M. performace has be scheduled for Sarurday.
The first show (6:00 P.M.) in Brookhaven had a full house. Even though it wasn't as bad as Bogalusa the previous day, there werw still rowdy kids that interfered wih my work.
The 8:00 P.M. was last then half full.
Is the experience of the last 2 days a sign for me to stay away from any circus work?
Around 2:30 P.M. yesterday Tommy Holveck came to the sleeper and said his father wanted to see me. I didn't know what to expect.
A radio inteview had been arranged at one of the local stations. John Lewis had asked Gary and another performer to do it.
I was available, and able, Gary thought.
I agreed to the inteview. We would leave the lot around 3:00 P.M.
I changed shirts.
It was my first live radio inteview. The inteviewer was one of the sponsors, Civitans.
It was a short inteview, around 5 minures.
I was asked 2 questions: How many clowns were there and if a bucket of water hit me. I said over the air that "I get a shower twice a day," which I thought was a good promo statement.
I was also asked how much I appeared in the show. I listed the Come-In (explaining what that was) the 2 acts, intermission, and that I said Bye-Bye at the end.
He had asked me earlier if I could talk on a Kid's level, whatever that meant.
Gary spoke from the position of the Ringmaster.
We had been driven to the station by the inteveiwer.
Another station wanted us for a 4:00 p.m. inteview, but Gary had to unload his props.
John Lewis told me that I was doing a real good job (I think me was talking about me) during the Elephant Act (herd) of the first show yesterday. If he did say me (it was hard to hear above the noise) it was a change of style for Mr. Lewis. Being the insecure person I am, I felt great afer the compliment; I had been wanting John's approval and respect all season.
Or is he trying to get me to come back next season?

(16th) Morning of the second day of a 3-day stand at Natchez Mall. I am presently at a Washeteria downtown Natchez.
Gary and I did another radio inteview yesterday at WNAT, a local station. I felt more comfortable with this one. It was at 3:30 P.M.
The inteviewer was more with it.
He asked me a question, How do you come up with something funny?. I responded that you must develope a Sixth Sense to know what the audience will like. It becomes such that if you like it, so will the audience.
For the past 3-4 days, my nose has been runny, and I have had a persistent cough. This has hurt my concentration.
Lately I have been perorming just for the paycheck.
47 more performances (only one show tomorrow) in this season.
It has been warm and stuffy the last 2-3 days.

(Approx. 10:10 P.M.) Gary Holveck wanted Tommy to get practice on a new Clown sketch, so he asked Doc and I if we would be in it (The Front Offices requested a 3rd Clown number for an indefinite time; yesterday Doc did his Balloon pop-audience participation. It goes over bad as a Clown act; for Come-in, it is O'Kay). This afternoon we rehearsed it. The sketch is the balancing of 3 billard balls on the big end of a cue stick. The end is Tommy bowing, and walking off with the balls attacked to the stick.
The cue stick has a botton that pushes up a pin through holes in the balls. Gary ordered thise through as ad in Circus Report.
My contribution to the piece is to juggle the balls. Tommy wants to do a trick; fails to juggle. is told by the Ringmaster to leave the rings. starts crying. Doc and I "jump" on Gary for this, and so 'Sunshine' is given another chance at a trick. Doc and I react to Tommy's play.
I just I am working all but 20 minutes of the performance.
45 performances to go. With the addition of the new gag, I have a challenge to stay.
I changed $50 in cash into a Money Order; in the morning I will send it by mail, along with a note, to Childersburg.
This is the first time I have ever worked the entire show, from Come-in to The Leaving for four performances in a row.

(18th, Morning) Payday yesterday. I received the usual $65.71. I keep thinking that I will receive a bonus at the end of the season, but I doubt it.
I mailed the letter containing the $50 Money Order from Natchez yesterday morning; it is bound for Childersburg.
Grenada is 200-plus miles from Natchez. The Water Truck left around 5:00 P.M. from the last lot. Craig was confussed as to whether we were suppose to spend the night at a Truck Plaza in Jackson that was mentioned on the route slip. He had not remenbered the name (SeGo) of the place, or how to get there (Exit 17), so we went 20 miles past it. We stopped and stretched, and Craig expressed dismay at not being informed as to which Truck Stop it was. I reread the route slip and told him the information. He swore to himself.
We travelled to the next exit, and Craig headed back. I told him that I heard that the show would go all the way.
We went back on I-55 about 10 miles; he pulled on an exit at a store, we ate, and then continued on to Grenada. At this point it was 100 miles away.
It was a little after 11:00 P.M. when we got to the lot, off Hwy 8.
It is chilly this morning. The lot is a tight one. My sleeper is in the front yard.

(19th, Morning) The sun is warming the day up but it was a cold night. It must have been in the high 30 degrees. What a change from the mucky heat of this past Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Last night, Jim (the cook) paid me back $3.00, having borowed $2.65 from me yesterday week in Abbeville, La. He had come to me in Abbeville while I was sitting in the Sound Truck listening to the music so I could be cued as to my first act (the sleeper was too far from the tent to hear). Jim came up, still drunk, and said he had to make a phone call. I knew better, and even challened him, but, since it was Sunday, I couldn't think of an excuse, so he was able to talk me into it. He even said the phone call would cost $2.30.
I lent him a $5 bill, and it was agreed that I would be given the change later.
After my part of the show, I saw Jim with a Six-Pack of beer, and partying with Buck, by the Pole Truck. I asked him if this was his 'phone call.'
Anyway, I got back $2.35 that night.
Jim received a $50 fine for being drunk all week. He couldn't pay me back. I stayed on his ass for the next 2-3 days, but then I stopped mintioning it; it was my fault for lending him the money wnen I knew good and well what it would be spent on. If I 'lost' it, it was my own fault. But I followed him around last night (payday for Working Men) and got it.
This morning I was walking around by Piggly Wiggly, adjacent to lot (I came over for a newspaper, but there were none) and Charlie Moyer came up to me. He shook my hand, leaving a $5-bill in it. Was this a tip for assistance on the organ?

(20th, Around 1:25 P.M.) It dipped down into the mid-30 degrees last night-early morning, but when the sun came along, it warmed to the high 60 degrees.
40 more performances.
The size of last night's attendence, for both shows, were very small. Spec and Intermission of both shows were cut, lessening my visibility with the audience.
My nose still 'leaks,' and I have a persistant cough. It interferes with my work, sometimes.

(22nd, Late Morning) It has begun to be warm; the nights are in the 50 degrees.
Yesterday afternoon in Quitman, Ms., I started reading "Outlaw of Gor," the second volume in The Chronicles of Counter-Earth, by John Norman. I have 2 books in the series in my home library, which I read about a year and a-half ago.
This book belongs to Rapid Robert. I had found another book in the Counter-Earth series on the ground by the door of the Cook House Sleeper (Working Men); it had been thrown out in the process of House-Cleaning. I asked a couple of the Working Men, who were doing the cleaning, who the book belong to. They said take it.
I showed the book to Robert, who was a-seated at a dinning table, and asked him if he had ever read any of the series. 'Dick' had lived in this sleeper for a while, and this book was his. He then showed me another volume in the series.
This later book wasn't as thick; with only 2 1/2 weeks remaining in the season, I opted for the thinner volune.
Reading, I hope, will help me through these last days.
I think it was during the intermission of one of the shows in Louisville, Tuesday, that a guy in his early teens, grabbed my cap. I just ignored the incident, and worked the audience capless. Soon he threw the cap back to me. He didn't want the cap; he wanted to play Keep Away, have have attention on him. He found out he couldn't get it through me. The whole thing wasn't malicious.
I find that Blacks respond more to the Water sketch; this ethnic group is also better in "playing" with my reactions.
All in all, the Negro race makes a better audience than the Whites.
There was a father last night with his 10-11 year old son on his lap; he sumons me over to 'talk' with his kid. The boy try to pull my glove off. I was asked to come over again, and this kid, sanctioned by the father, pulled my hair. The father hould have been beat.

(23rd, Mid-afternoon) I sent a $20 Money Order to Armstrong & Ass. earlier (we are playng near a Shopping Center. It was Peoples Bank of Misissippi, N.A., where I purchased the M.O.; it cost $21 for $20 M.O.) My bill for my cystectomy at Cooper Green Hospital in $840.
It was very cold last night. And it rained. It was raining when we arrived on thelot this morning. I was misible.
I gave Don, the maintenance man, my thick cover - he only had one. I was left with a thin insolated blanket, and a 'sleeper bag.' I was cold last night; sleep came, off and on.
It is suppose to dip dowm to the loww 30 degrees tonight.

(25th, Around 4:50 P.M.) It was a travel day; the jump was 300 miles, plus, from Forest, Ms. It rained liked a bitch on the way.
Daylight Savings Time ended for this year today. An hour was gained.
I received my $65.71 yesterday.
In Meridian Friday my fist struck a kid who was behind me trying to stuff a plastic bag down my shirt. The blow was a defense reflex; these 'refexes' will be more often. I am sick of being a boxing bag.
Some ass hole hid the keys to the trunk illusion, the second show in Meridian. Gary could not get out (he could have, but it would destroy the illusion). So John Lewis, who just happened to be in the tent (?) directed the box to be brought out of ring. It was taken to the back yard.
The keys were "found," and the padlocks opened.
Gary was pissed.
Last night in Forest he had no enthusiasm in his Annousing, and he did the 2 majic acts without his usual beautiful style. It hurt to see this.
He told me that thae trunk incident had nothing to do with the way he did the show, but I think it did.
This happened during the same performance that I received a round of applause when I walked past the audience during Spec (only one section of seats was required).
It is still raining.
I am becoming more involved with the audience during the Intermission period, i.e. looking someone up and down; sitting next to a woman or child and shyly reacting to them; following a person; etc. But my snotty nose forces me away from close work.

26 October-10 November, De Funiak Springs/Daytona Beach, FL
Marritt Island/Sanford/Belleview/Altamonte Springs, FL
Crystal River/Tarpon Springs/Wauchula/Fort Meyers/Naples , Fl.
Deerfield Beach/Kendall/Miami Beach/Miami Lakes, FL

(26th, 3:36 P.M.) It has been sprinkling off and on all day. But at least it has been warm: in the mid-70 degrees.
Doc, Tommy, Gary, and I went went with one of the sponsors (Kiwannas) to the 3 Elementary schools and passed out free Children's passes. The gimack is that an adult must accompany the child or children. The grown-up has to buy his or her ticket.
Doc was in his element; he is a talking clown and is good at "Advamce" work.
After I relaxed, I was able to relate to the kids. What hinders me is that I feel like my clowning is viewed as a Child's entertainer, instead of as an artform for all ages.
This P.R. work lasted about an hour.

(Approx. 10:25 P.M.) Charlie Moyer gave me $5 again tonight; I guess this is for the Bandstand and organ set-up and packing-away.

(28th) Morning on a sunny Florida day. It is warm.
I am at a laudermat.
Since Craig and the Water truck laft Monday night from DeFuniak Springs, I was left to find another ride.
I made the 350 plus mile journey in the Office Truck that Norton, the tire man, drives. Stash said that he would get the passenger that rides with Butch in the Spool Truck to ride in Buck's Carry-All, the pulls my house, and I could ride with Butch. It would have been a long rip with 3 in that truck.
In the morning, though, there was a passenger in the Spool Truck. I was disgusted at the unorganized bull shit that goes on.
Buck suggested the Office Truck as a mode of transportation.
It was around 5:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time when Norton and I arived on the lot, the parking lot of the Speedway.
I talked with Mama over the phone last night. Daddy is "married" again (probably just living with a woman) and lives on the Rockford Highway.
Legally, he could not have married until this past Saturday, when the divorce was final; it had been annnounced in the paper before then.
Mr. Gillam told Mama where they were living.
I was so shocked that Mama thought I feinted because of the silence over the phone.
Mary had the baby last week; a boy. It is named Jesse __, after its great-grand-fathers.
12 days remaining in the season.

(29th) This lot is outside Cocoa. It is about 3:05 P.M. A warm day, in the high 70 degrees. It has rained, though.
Blountstown, Florida, was originally scheduled to be played Tuesday, but there were circumstances last week that made the date doubtful. And Monday a tornado all but destroyed the town.
It was rumored that there had been no lot, no advance sale, and no publicity in Blountstown.
The Office was inpounded by the Daytona Beach police last night. It seems the Circus owed a guy some money and failed to pay, so he took the Office. It is back now.
I went to take the flags down last night and was shocked to see the office gone.

(31st, Morning) Nine more days; 18 more performances. The only bad thing about the approaching end of the season is that I will once again be "Knocking" on doors.'
The show will be Open Air today. There are no center poles, so there will be no ariel acts. Only 2 sections of seats are up.
Is today Halloween or April Fool's Day?
I heard that the sponsors only sold 40 tickets.
The lot is a field o high grass that had to be cut ar places; for the performing area, etc. The Mid-way is a road.
Yesterday morning in Sanford, around 11:45 A.M., Doc came by the sleeper and said they wanted us to go to he school and pass out tickets. So I quickly 'showered,' shaved (electric razor),and cleaned my body in other ways, ate 2 weiners, then made-up.
1:00 P.M. was the time for this promotion.
I was ready by 20 minutes till one, so I went to the Mid-way to wait. Ine of the sponsors (Jaycees) were up there. I warmed up.
Doc came later.
Around 1:45 P.M., Doc and I were told that the sponsors would pass out the tickets, the clowns weren't wanted.
In Make-up, Doc went out in the Sound Truck to annouunce the show, a job he will do the rest of the season (not in Make-up. I doubt if he goes out today). He will be paid for this.
John said I could have gone with him yesterday; but I didn't. I don't like promotion and waving.
2 hours were wasted.
Even though the audience last night were responsive, it was small.

(Almost 8:00 P.M.) Around 11:00 A.M. this morning, we started tearing down and packing up. I don't know what happened. But after lunch (soup and sandwiches) the show moves to the next town of Altamonte Springs, 90 miles or so miles in the direction we traveled that morning.
Thursday morning, when the show was getting prepared to leave Daytona Beach, I climbed into the Water Truck, and Craig 'asked' me if I could ride in the Carry-All or someplace wlse. I said I could.
I rode in the gas truck to the stand in Merritt Island. Since Friday morning, though, I have been riding in the Spool Truck.
What the hell is Craig's problem, and who does he think he is?
I received my $65.71 tonight.
From the Walden Book store in the Altamonte Mall (the lot is off to one side) I purchased a copy of "Exploring Mime" by Mark Stolzenberg, a New York Mime, for $11.39.
Halloween is sure taken serious around here. The Mall is full of people in costume; all ages, not just kids. Some local people came by and offered to pay $15 a face of make-up. My make-up will only be used for Mime, Dance or Theatre.

(2nd, Mid-morning) It is windy again, and I mean WINDY!
I finished the reading of "Outlaws of Gor" last Friday.
One more week, 14 more shows. What should I try for next?
The audience for the shows yesterday were small in number, but very receptive. This circus suffers form a lack of promotion and advance publicity.
It humiliates me the Doc is most of the time stoned and/or drunk when he is in the ring. And Tommy sees Clowning as a game.
My future in Mime and Clowning is uncertain after Sunday. Of course, my entire career in this art has been uncertain, and an outlet has always, sooner or later, presented itself to me.

I learned from Jesse Moyer a while ago that Lil is in Sarasota and Al is with the Nord Mark Show, an indoor circus.
I don't know how it is betwen the 2 of them, but if Lil is waiting for Al, I think she is in for a heart ache.
My plans were to go to Sarasota and vacation on the beach after this season; now I have another reason for visiting this town.

(4th, Morning) Ten more shows (maybe 11 if there are 3 shows on Saturday).
Towards the end of the last (8:00 P.M.) show last night, Jesse Moyer handed me a letter. It was from Mama and it contained my October bill from Jefferson Clinic. It had be sent to Louisville, Ms, the stand of Cctober 20. For whatever reason, it was then forwarded to Bloutstown, Florida, an egagemment scheduled for October 27 that was cancelled. It finally reached me yesterday in Tanpon Springs. When I talked to Mama over the telephone from Daytona Beash she said it had been sent, so I was expecting it, but before now.
This morning I will send a $20 Money Order to the Clinic, a Money Order I purchased at a bank in Daytona Beach. My bill with Jefferson Clinic is down to &200, or will be.
The size of the audience for both performances in Crystal River on Monday were the largest we had since, I believe, Grenada, Ms., on Sunday, October 18. And they were receptive.
Andy, a kid on Big Top, asked to borrow some money from me last Saturday night in Altamonte Springs. I was very reluntant to loan it, but Buck Smith vouched for him, saying he pays back.
I had to approach hom Monday in Crystal River for the money ($5). He said he would get me later.
I was given $3 at supper and told that I would get the rest that night.
I had to approsch him in Tampon Springs last night to remind him. He gave me a "Fuck you" look.
I should have follow my instincts and not make the loan. If I am not paid, it is my own fault.
I purchased a pair of Mooon Boots (slipppers) from the near-by K-Mart yesterday. The navy blue X-large ladies' slippers cost $1.88 before taxes. I bought some other stuff, too.
The reason I made the purchase so close to the end of the season is because the night before, a male child had commented on my "holy" shoes.

(5th, Almost 11:55 A.M.) It is hot and humid today.
I changed 5-ten dollar bills into 5 Traveler's Checks earlier at a bank that has just opened and celebration Grand Opening, in Bridge Plaza. I was one of the first costumers.
The 5 Traveler's Checks cost me 50 cents.
The second flight of the space shutle Columbia was aborted at the last minute, Wednesday, and will, hopefully, be lauched next week. Mechanical breakdown forced the postponement.
My plans are now to witness the historic space ahot in person; I hope to travel to Cape Carnavael (Cocoa Beach) and camp out. Being so close and not seeing the lannch would be stupid.
Andy paid me the rmaining $2 of the $5 he borrowed from me last Saturday night. He paid me the $3 in Crystal River Monday.
Wednesday afternoon in Tarpon Springs. I went walking in search of a lake that Mac, the 24-hour man, told me about. It was supposively 3-4 blocks from the lot. I was wearing only the 'leopard' bathing suit.
This walk was through Black Quarters, At one point 3 Black women came from their houses to watch me. I doubled back and talked with them. I was shy.
One of the women asked me if I was a homesexual.
I asked about a lake or swimming pool. One of them told me about a pool at an apartment complex. She told me to tell whoever questioned my being there that I knew a white man living there.
I headed towards the apartment, but instead of going straight, went around the block, so I could pass by the women again. Only one of them were outside, talking with a dude in a car. When asked I said I was justing looking around.
The guy drove me to the lake 5 or 6 blocks futher than what Mac said.

[This Record book purchased at Eckerds Drugs in a Shopping Center in Naples, Florida, on The morning of Friday, November 6, 1981, for $4.35 with The Tax ($4.15 before)]

(6th, Late morning) Six more performances.
This morning I made a toll-free phone call to Amtrak from a pay phone across the street fom the lot. I had deposited a dime for the call, and when a connection was made, the dime came back. When I reached my finger into the 'Coin return' box, there were, in addition to the dime, a bunch I had 8 quarters! I dailed the toll-free number again, but no more money was received.
The humidity yesterday drained my energy from me; it was hard doing 2 shows. My concentration and timing was off.
My work was sloppy also because I am fed up with ths shit.
Eric, LiL's son, visited the show Wednesday night in Wauchula. When I was getting ready for the second (8:30 P.M.) show, a kid handed me a letter while I was making my way to the tent. At first I didn' recognize Eric, even though he said it was a letter from "Mom and Al."
It was a letter from Lil. Al is on the road with the International All-Star Circus, a one-ring indoor show. This Nordmark show ends it 1981 tour the middle of Becember.
Lil still feels that Al will come back to her. Is it because of my love for her or is it because I know Al, that I feel he won't?

(7th, 3:20 P.M.) This is the first day of a 2-day stand. This is also the final engagement of the 1981 season.
John asked me last night if I wanted to come back next year. I replied, "I don't know aabout next year." John said I should tell him soon.
Would I even come back to this show if my conditioons were met? I have been fucked too much by the Front Office. I have no job lined up for next year, though. Should I stick with a sure thing (money-wise, security) or hunt for an outlet that will give me a challenge?
Buck Smith bought my light cord, Drop Light, and electrical Knock Knacks last night for $12.50. I would have liked more, but he con me into this deal.
The cash comes in handy; the performers wouldn't get paid until tomorrow, and I only had around $2 in cash on me. I didn't really want to cash a Traveler's Checque.

(8th, Around 8:30 A.M.) This is it, the day I have been awaiting anxiously.
From Key Biscayne to Deerfield Beach, my artistic developement has been tremendous; the growth has been like 3-4 years.
I had wanting to word with Hoxie Bros. Circus for 3-4 years; I made the goal and more.
My goals now are the EPCOT at Disey World next year, the World's Fair in Knoxville, Tn., next summer, and maybe "Barnum," the circus musical currently on Broadway. The first 2 goals I am rellly trying for.
Allen ("Rainbow") visited the show yesterday. He 'dessed out' for the second (6:00 P.M.) show. Besides Come-In and Spec, he work the Mop gag, and Tommy's ball-balancing act.
If he had Bozoed the Water Act, I would have walked out of the tent and let he and Tommy finish it.
Will he 'Guest Clown' today?
The show "jumped" from Naples after tear-town Friday. I helped with tear-down.
I worked on the Big Top crew the first week of the season.
It was 120-odd miles to Deerfield Beach. Butch, Jim, and I arrived at the lot around 2:30 Saturday morning. The sleeper didn't get here until daylight. I tried sleeping in the back of the Spool Truck, but I couldn't find a comfortable spot. I napped 2-3 hours on the front seat of the gas truck when it finally arrived.
I really can't 'hate' this show, or its Front Office (John Lewis in particular); I have learned a lot and have achieved a level of expertise in Mime that is very high. It is all because of my fighting with Mr. Lewis.
I should thank him.

(9th, Around 8:00 A.M.) The show came in to Quarters last night; the Spool Truck left the Deerfield Beach lot around 9:15 P.M. It was after ten before we arrived here.
Since it was so late (like I had figured) when we got here, I decided to stay a night here, and go by LInda's the next day. Buck Smith said he would carry me to where I could get a city bus for Miami Lakes.
I received my final pay from the Office yesterday - $65.71. I was not paid for yesterday; I did not receive an appreciation bonus.
Gary Holveck handed me an envelope as I was exiting from the "Strongest Man" gag. it contained the $2 he owed me, due to his losin the bet we made around 2 1/2 months ago, concerning Closing Date (there had been a rumor at that time, that the town of Sunrise, Florida, would be played for two days after Deerfield Beach; he betted on this extension of the season, I said no).
Charlie Moyer gave me $5 for my assistance on the bandstand, organ, and other things.
Liked I knew would happened, the Mop gag was messed up for the last show. It went O'Kay until I went to throw the water on Tommmy in revenge. The bucket wasn't where it should have been. So I picked up the bucket of confetti (in its right place) and walked out of the tent. Gary thought I was going to throw it on him, but I tossed the confetti over my shoulder behind me.
When I came out of the ring, I was hit with water by one of the prop men.
I had made of my mind, that I would walk out of the tent if something was done as a joke to one of the gags. I had expressed this strongly to Tommy several times, and I told Gary that I would do this.
It was Tommy's idea to do this trick.
I did not work the 2nd (Ball balancing) Clown number. I half-ass worded the Strangest Man act.
Jeanne Holveck gave me one of her "Motherly" lectures. She said something about "how I felt about myself," in relation to how I reacted to what happened. She seemed mad that I stood firm in my 'pre-mess-up' decision.

(10th, 9:48 A.M.) I am siting in Poppa's Restaurant down the street from Haulover Beach. I have been here 20 minutes waiting for breakfast. I hate waiting; I pop off and make a smart-ass of myself.
Tommy dropped me by this place; he has busines in this area.
It was after 4:00 P.M. when I got to Linda's yesterday: I went out with Mac, the 24-hour man, that morning, for breakfast at Denny's on 36th St., N.W. George of the administration staff was to go, but something came up.
I only dranked tea. Eggs sandwichs was my final meal with Hoxie Bros. Circus that morning earlier.
Buck Smith had said that he would taxi (at no charge) me to my sister's house, but I wasn't into waiting until the afternoon, when he would be free.
From Denny's I called Linda. Because of commitments, she would be out until 1:30 P.M. (Dentist, lunch with one of her sons, Scot).
Mac and I talked abut 2 1/2 hours while in the restaurant, and in his van. The convversation was mainly of his work as a Rodeo Clown, and of how John Lewis is a crook and bastard.

(Approx. 10:53 A.M.) I am presently on Haulover Beach in my Dance Belt. Several females have seen me.

(approx. 3:40 P.M.) I am awaiting a Metrobus ('H') that will carry me to the 163rd Street Mall, where I can catch 53-W for Miami Laked. The fare with transfer is 85 cents.
An 'H' bus went by a while ago, but the driver wouldn't stop because I wasn't at a bench, which is a regular bus stop. Apparently, buses will only stop at the benches.
The way of getting from 36 Street N., W., at Milan Dairy Road, to Miami Lakes has been changed since last March; instead of 'catching' a bus on 36h Street, # 19 is boarded on Milan Dairy Road. I missed one bus before I found this out. It was around 2:30 P.M. before I was on a #19.
#19 carried me to the J.C. Penny Auto Center in Hialeah, where I 'caught' #56.
#56 does not travel through Miami Lakes like it used to. After travelling down 61st ave., it turned right instead of left, making me have a long walk with 2 suitcases, a knapsack, 2 covers, a sheet, and my thick Parka Coat).

(Approx. 7:15 P.M.) Steve and Scot met me on bicycles; it was a shock to see them, even though I halfway expected them.
Steve carried one of my bags; Scot 'taked' the knapsack. We went about 2 blocks, and then Steve rode home to get Tommy. The car soon came for Scot, his bike, me, and my luggage
I played hell getting from the beach today. A #53 West Metrobus didn't leave the 163rd Street Mall until 5:05 P.M. I had a wait of over 45 minutes. And the bus goes through Carroll City.
It was close to 6:00 P.M. when I arrived at Linda's. They were waiting to have dinner (Chicken and Fries fom "Scott's").

11-21 November, Miami Lakes/North Miami Beach/Miami/Cocoa, Florida
South Florida/Jacksonville. FL/Montgomery, AL
Sylacauga/Childersburg, AL

(8:40 P.M.) I am at the Greyhound Bus Station. I arrived her a few minutes before 8:00 P.M. It was 12:20 P.M. this afternoon that I left on a bbus from the Greyhound Bus Station in North Miami Beach, on Biscayne Boulevard, just off 163 rd Street. The fare for such a trip is $18.65.
I learned from the young white male ticket agent here in Cocoa that the best place to see the launch of the Space Shuttle, which is the purpose of this trip, is on NASA Parkway, between here and Titusville, a city around 25 miles to the north. The bus I came in on was going there, but I was making my inquiry, and didn't get back on. The next carrier is at 11:0 P.M.
The fare to Titusville is $2.05, which I purchased.
The suitcase and knapsack whinch I had checked in, in North Miami Beach, wil be allowed to remain in the Baggage room here until I return from my Space Watch. (Only 2 pieces of baggages cam be checked in under a new policy.) The big black bag which I carried on board, will be kept for me (I was given a claim check) until I call for it.
I packed a pillow case lined with a plastic bag inside with stuff I will need for a 'sleep out.' Of course, my bed roll is coming along.
Linda had driven me to Public on Miami Lakes Drive this morning around 9:15 A.M. I bought something to eat, and then went to the Bus Stop in front of the store to await #53-East.
When it came, I rode it the the 163rd Shopping Center; from there I could take one of 5 buses. It was an 'E' I 'took' to Biscayne Boulevard and 163rd Street.
It was about 11:10 A.M. when I got to the North Miami Beach Greyhound Bus Terminal.
There are so many 'Communities' along the Southeast coast of Florids that the bus stops at; that what makes a trip up that side of Florida so long.
From one of the Service Station on either side of 36th Street, N.W., at Milan Dairy (Miami) I called the Metro-Dade Transit Authority, Monday, to learn which buses would get me to Linda's house (the area). Both stations was run by Cubans. I had my baggages piled together. When I had come out of the station from getting a dollar swapped for 4 quarters, 2 young males in a car yelled at me from 25 feet away. The driver asked me if I could speak Spanish. I answeered "pocito" - very little. His buddy spoke only Spanish.
They were Born-Again Christians, seeking to save my soul. They gave me a copy of "The American Standard" New Testament, a leadlet in Spanish, and a 5-dollar bill. Willie, the driver, invited me to a meeting to be held the following night (Tuesday) at the home of a George (he gave me a phone number to call - 821-0445. I would even be taxied to it.

(Around 8:30 A.M.) I am presently at a boat dock on the Indian River, between Cocoa (approx. 8 miles back) and Titusville (about 6 miles ahead). I am awaiting the 10:00 P.M. launch of the Space Shuttle.
This is the closest I can get to the launch area. When I got (around 11:20 P.M.) to the Nasa Causeway the security guard wouldn't let me pass' no walk-ins are allowed. At midnight cars with passes would be let in.
I walked up and down the line of waiting cars, hoping that someone would let me join teir party; no luck. But I was given a bowl of stew, and enjoyed good conversation, by and with a Mid-30-ish white female, who was with 2 males (white) in a camper. The lady wasn't bad looking.
The younger of the 2 males, the lady's husband I assume, seen suspicious and/or jealous of my present.
I was contemplating sneaking in, but I would surely be spotted crossing the bridge. There ae more than 1 checkpoint, I bet.
I spent the remainder of the 'night' under a mini-grove of trees off Hwy #1-North. not far from the Causeway. The weather wasn't that bad; I got around six hours of sleep.
This morning I decided to walk back towards Cocoa and find a place on the Indian River to view the 'Shot.'
I did not attend the Christian meeting at George's house Tuesday night.

(1:49 A.M.) I am at the Greyhound Bus Station, awaiting a 2:45 A.M. bus that will carry me to Alabama.
I arrived around 8:30 P.M. from Cocoa, and the bus on which I arrived would have an hour dinner stop. I ate at the Burger King 'attacked' to the station.
I was reluntant to call Jane, not sure of how a conversation would be substained. But I decided, what the hell, I would phone my oldest sister. My address book being in my pack, still on the bus, I looked in the telephone directory for the number. I came across a Lee Coggin, Jane's 8-year-old daughter's name, but I wasn't sure if it would be Jane's place, although the address was Dottie Road which is where Jane and family lives. So I went on board the parked bus and fetched the address book. I called the telephone number I had listed for Jane.
A male voice answered the other end; this was Jerry, Jane's husband. I asked to talk to Jane. She had went to the store, Jerry told me. I then asked him to tell Jane that her brother, Phil, had called. Jerry then asked if I would like to come out to the house for a visit, and upon my affirmative reply, asked me where I was, and then which bus station. They would come for me.
It was an hour, around 10:00 P.M., from the time of the call when I saw a woman entering the station by the Forsyth Street door that had to be Jane (it was over 14 uears ago when I had last seen her; she favored Linda, though, and was shaped very similar to Joyce. No mistaking a Wilson girl.)
With Jane wass her son Larry, who I saw last the time I saw Jane last.
I was nervous and excited about the reunion with my sister.
During the hour wait for Jane, I kept thinkng that maybe Jerry had failed to tell Jane of my presence in town, or that Jane would not care. I was expecting to be screwed. And the next bus to Montgomery, after the 9:30 P.M., wouldn't be until 2:45 A.M. If I had been 'tricked,' I would have a LONG wait.
My 2 suitcases have been at the Montgomery Greyhound Bus Station since Friday; I hape they are still there.

(12:30 P.M.) Montgomery, Al. I am presently sitting on one of the cement benches-around-a-tree, in Court Square. I arrived in Montgomery around 10:30 A.M. As I feared, a Trailways bus that will take me to Childersburg will not depart until this afternoon - it will be 3:15 P.M. Angrily, I put my suitcases (no problem in claiming them), bedroll, and coat in a locker at the Trailways station, and set out walking.
I purchased an "Inroduction to Aristotle," edited by Richard McKeon, for 50 cents the Salvation Army Thrift Store, 3 or 4 bloocks from the Capital. I had browsed the Goodwill Store, but found nothing I wanted. I could have bought more books, but I will have problems as it is in shelfing the books and magazine I bought while with Hoxie Bros.
I hunted a restroom; found one, and then cross the street for a Cheezeburger-Fries-Milk Shake lunch ($3.20). I bought a pack of cigarets.
For the past 3-4 weeks, I have been continuly had a blood discharge with my bowel movement. I will have to insur another medical expense to have this checked out.
I did not meet Jerry formally until Friday evening, when he came home from work.
I met Lee, the daughter, that morning.
Larry stayed out of school Friday to keeep me company. He, like Jane and Jerry, is a Video junkie.
Saturday afternoon, Jerry took Larrry, Lee, and I on a tour of the beaches.
I had plan on leaving Saturday night, but on Jane and Jerry's insistence, I stayed.
Late last night, Larry gave me a sleeping bag and demin vest.
It is a windy, overcast day in Montggomery. The temperature dropped to the feezing point in Jacksonville while I was there.
I learned from a Disney World Brochure, which I picked up at the Cocoa Greyhound Bus Terminal, that the EPCOT Center will not open until October of next year.
I feel that I can get a job at the World's Fair (May-Oct., 1982), and work at the EPCOT Center some, but what abouT the first part of next year? Or will I be hospitalized because of my bleeding ass?

(17th, 7:30 A.M.) It was around 4:30 P.M. yesterday when the bus 'pulled' into the Sylacauga Traiways Bus Station. After 'de-busing' with my stuff - a transfer to a different vehicle would be required to complete my trip hme - I ordered a cup of iced tea to go, from the adjacent Coffee Pot Restaurant. I then telephoned Joyce to see if she was home; I was planning to get off the bus by her house, so she would give me a ride to Mama's. Instead, she, David, and Leslie came to the Bus Terminal for me.
I am going to seek a refund of the Sylacauga-Childersburg unused portion of a Montgomery-Childersburg travel ticket, which costed me $7.70. This refund will be around $1.40.

(3:50 P.M.) I sent a $20 Money Order to "Dance" Magazine this morning, which will pay off this bill. My savings account balance is $482.63. I still have $100 in Traveler's Cheques. A job is not immediately needed, but it would sure be good to have something lined up.
It took calls to 2 different offices in Knoxville to learn that there were no openings for clowns left; I am 3 weekd too late. A resume can still be submitted, though.
I went to Dr. Moody this morning concerning the blood discharge in by bowel movement. I also had a blood sugar test (urinalysis).
Dr. Moody gave me a rectal (stuck his finger up my ass). The nurse checked my piss.
Dr. Moody strongly suggested I had a protol (have a tube with a light crammed up my rectum). According to him, it is more than hemorhages causing the bleeding. This unknown cause has me scared.
Sugar was found in my urine. A Fasting blood test would be more certain. I will have one in the morning. After midnight, I cannot eat or drink; no breakfast before the test.
It cost $25 to find this all out.
I went by the Childersburg Clinic and arranged an appointment Thursday afternoon at 2:00 P.M. with a Dr. Neilson.

(18th, 5:27 P.M.) The nurse at Dr. Moody's office administered the Fasting blood test, which consisted of taking blood from the arm. She also checked my blood presure and urine. I was told to call later in the morning for the results.
It was $28 this morning.
When I phoned the office, Dr. Moody was called to the phone: no sugar was found in the piss. There was no comment about the blood test.
$53 was shelled out!
I typed a letter to the International All-Star Circus, based in Sarasota, this morning. This is a one-ring, indoor show. Lil had gave me the address, in the event I wanted to write Al, and told me the 1982 season starts in February. I stated a brief past history of me artisticly, and asked how I may "obtain a Clownship" with the show.

(A little after 7:00 P.M.) It was last Wednesday morning that I left Linda's place for Cocoa. I was able to play sex games during the first part of the trip: during the City bus ride from Miami Lakes to the 163rd Street Plaza, there was a young white female seated at the front of the bus. The nature of her blouse was such that her breast could be seen between the points where buttons kept the garmet togetner. I sat next to her and manuvered myself so I could see her right tiddy.
This lady had an English-Portugese dictionary wih her, which she periodicly checked. Was she foreign?
When I got to the 163rd St. Mall, a young thing in shorts and top was on a bench; I sat next to her and found that her right breast could be partially viewed if you looked properly - a zipper was down at such a distance to allow such. My hand almost crept up her shorts. I had let two buses pass me, but I forced myself to board one for the bus (Greyhound) station.
At the North Miami Beach bus station there was a young, white female wearing a wrap-around blouse, who was asleep in a chair. What looked like a green bra could easily be seen underneath the blouse. I sat in a chair next to her.
This female was of mediocre looks.
The way she sat exposed the bra to me a lot.
When I went to sit by her on the bus (luckily she was travelling on the same one I was), she moved to another row, saying she wanted to get some sleep.
I had been given 'looks' by this 'victum' in the station and on the bus. Did she want me to see her undress, and to play with her? And was the green bra underwear or a sun suit?

(19th, 7:01 P.M.) I went to another doctor this afternoon, Dr. Neilson at the Childersburg Clinic. It cost me $20 for a nurse to check my blood pressure, and for the Doc to feel my adomen. Of course, he also talked with me, asking about symtoms, and abot the health record I had fill out.
An apppointment was arranged for an X-ray examination of my Colon; next Tuesday morning at 10:30 A.M. I was 'given' a kit that I am to use to clean out my rectum. The cleaning is to begin at noon on Monday. Betwee then and the X-ray session, I can only eat light meals, and a liquid breakfast, drank 8 oz. of clear liquid about every 2 hours, take medication, and give myself an enema.
On Wednesday a tube will be crammed up my ass, for inspection.
No teling how much more it will cost me to repair myself. I have already spent $75.
I will have to return to work very soon.
As reported, I went to Haulover Beach on Miami Beach a week ago Tuesday. To report what I saw: a white lady, with a male (both mid- to late-30's), can and set up not far from me. The lady had on street clothes, but had a swim suit 'bra' in her hand. She was sitting on a blanket, 30-40 ' to my left, appearing to wait for her companion, who had went in the water. When he came to her, he helped he change into her bikini. I quietly stood up and walked to a point affording me a view.
I saw her in her bra, with the swim suit 'bra' ready to slip over her tiddies.
I saw her sitting wearing only panties; she put a towel over her lap when she took them off, and put on the swim suit.
I moved to a part of the beach that was behind a motel. There was a swimming pool on a patio; it was a 6 foot drop to the sand.
I noticed a young white female in a 2-piece bikini, had the neck strap tied behind ber back. This made it so that it was a simple matter of seeing a side view of 3/4 of her tits. I was obvious in my watch.
There was a girl walking the beach in what looked like her panties.
The lady on the patio was with 2 kids.
I laid by another female who had her pants-part of her suit down low, lying on her stomach with the bra-part undone in back. I saw a part of her tiddy.
It was great being seem in my all-but-naked-state by so many females.

(21st, 3:15 P.M.) I began the reading of "The Winner of Our Discontent," John Steinback's Nobel Prize-winning novel, this morning. This is one of those paperbacks I bought at a Flea Market or Thrift Store while on tour with Hoxie Bros. Circus.
I tried reading Thonas Wolfe's "Look Homeward, Angel," but didn't get past the introduction. My mood is not right for this novel.
Last night, while Mama was watching T.V. (she was really sleeping), I started the reading of "The Circus in America" by Charles Philip Fox and Tom Parkinson. This is a book I can read when the T.V. is being viewed.
If you remember, I paid $10 for this book at a Flea Market.
I sent a letter to Mark yesterday; in addition to normal "chit chat," I pleaded with him to send the photographs he took of me this summer, while I was presenting my character. These pictures will help job procurements.
I sent a letter to Lil Wednesday morning. I got mushy in a couple of spots.
Will I become involved with her romanticly and sexually?

23 November-15 December, B,ham/Homewood/Sylacauga/Childersburg, Al.

(24th, Around 9:45 P.M.) I spent $59.00 this morning for X-rays of my bowel and lower colon. I had been given a Fleet Prep Kit #3 last Thursday; the purpose of the kit was to clean out my bowel and lower colon.
The cleaning process consisted of a light meal at noon Monday, at least 8 oz. of clear liquid (I had apple juice ahd tea) at 2:00, 3:00, and 4:00 (and in-between if desired), drinking a Phospho-Soda laxative (included in the Prep Kit) mixed with water (the laxative was liquid) followed by a whole glass of water. I then had to wait 30 minutes before eating light liquid meal (jello. beef bouillon, tea).
8 oz. of Clear liquid at 7,8,9/
Before bed, I took 4 Bisacody Talets, included in the kit, with a whole glass of water.
A liquid breakfast.
It was a little after 9:00 A.M. this morning when I gave myself a bisacodyl enema, included in the kit.
My appointment to be 'photographed was at 10:30 A.M.
The X-Ray technican is a female, a white in her mid-30's, I would say. She is married and has big hips.
She saw my ass when she stuck an enema tube in my retum. I wish she has seen more.
The 'lump on my lap' was noticed by her as I was lying on the X-ray table.
A male looked at my bowel with some machine.
I was wearing only a hospital gown.
Tomorrow morning a 'proto' will be done. I am doing the same procedure of cleansing that I did for the X-ray.
I ceased to bleed when I shit Monday. It makes me made, because I am probably taking these expensive test for nothing.
In the mail today came a letter from the Department of Tourism in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. An announcement was made of an International Festival of Clowning, to be held next June 26-30 in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. I was requested to send material on my performances.
Linda an family flew up to Birmingham yesterday for their annual Thanksgiving visit. They are staying at Joyce's. They will fly back to Miami on Saturday.

(25th, Approx. 11:55 A.M.) I was charged $35.00 for Dr. Nielson cramming a tube up my ass. It was a bothersome pain. No tumor or anything was found.
Dr. Neilson told me that the doctor who looked at my insides yesterday found nothing 'gross.'
What causes the bleeding was a blister-like, bubble growth. When I asked him about it, he said if the blood appeared again, don't be overly concerned.
I infer that a colon cancer test should be taken every 2 years.
Next Wednesday morning I have an appointment to discuss the results of all these test; this consultation is at 8:00 A.M.
I stoled a June 1972 "National Geographic" Magazine from the Clinic.

(29th, 7:39 A.M.) Linda and family returned to Miami by Republic, air travel, yesterday.
They signed papers on a house in Center Points Acres Friday; they are, supposely, moving up here. I will believe it when I see it.
David was 5 years of age Friday.
I saw Jesse Emerson Holt Thursday for the first time. He is a little over 5 weeks of age.

(30th, About 10:30 A.M.) It is a rainy, cold day.
I typed a letter to the International Festival of Clowning Committee. In it, I listed briefly past outlets. I also sent to photographs: one of me juggling as a bearded clown, and one I cut out from the Summer 81 edition of "The Saint Bernard Times," of me in my early Hoxie Bros. Circus make-up and costume that was taken when the show played the Abbey in Cullman, Al., last April (3 copies of the newsletter were forwarded to me through John Lewis).
I mailed the 'sales package' to Nova Scotia this morning.

(A little past 6:30 P.M.) I completed "The Winter of Our Discontent." I reallly did enjoy the style of the writing, and how Steinbeck describes events, actions, etc. It is indeed Nobel Prize material.
It ended on an unsure note.

(2nd, About 9:45 A.M.) Dr. Neilson told me the results of all the tests I had on my butt. Nothng out of the ordinary showed up.
Several things could have caused the bleeding: inflamation, ruptured vessal, etc.
Sunday I developed a rash. I told Dr. Neolson about it; he wrote it down on my record, in the event that the medicine I took to cleanse my system out cause me to have an allegic reaction.
I at first used alchol on my hands and thighs, the areas affected, but yesterday afternoon I got a tube of Mycolog Ointment from Joyce, medicine she had used on David's ass for diaper rash.
There was no charge for the consultation this morning.
Linda and family, as it now stands, will not be moving up here. After talking to an attorney, they learned that there would be 40% taxed on whatever they sold the sandblasting buisness for, unless they invested the money in another business.
I had my doubts about the move, anyway. They will have to give up the house. The $100 "holding fee" can be gotten back.

(A hair past 6:30 P.M.) I started the reading of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame," Victor Hugo's Classic novel. It is not an easy book to read; it is in the style of Charles Dickens and Nathaniel Hawthorne. Hugo decorates what he 'says' with high-flung words.
Leslie found the paperback in Miss Ingram's room, a teacher she had for Algebra last year. (I was taught by her; so was Joyce; so was Linda). Miss Ingram said Leslie could have the book.
Leslie read the book; I don't know how close.

(3rd, Around 4:25 P.M.) I signed up for Unemployment Insurance in Sylacauga this afternoon. Joyce had to go to the bank, and do other errands over there, so I went with her.
The women over there still recognized me from the last time I filed a claim, 4-5 years ago.
I will draw from Florida and California. I should get around $35 a week, whenever I start getting checks, which may be awhile.
Tomorrow I will meet the requirement of applying at the Employment Office. Joyce has an errrand tomorrow, so I will sign up tomorrow. I didn't feel like putting up with this hassle today.
A bill came today from Vaughn-Carr Radiologists, P.A. in Sylacauga. It cost me $28 for having the X-rays of my bowel and colon interperted. I was expecting it to cost a lot more.
I hope I can pay this bill in person tomorrow, to avoid the cost of a stamp and a Money Order.

(7th, A bit after 6:30 P.M.) I received a letter from Lil today. From it, I surmissed that she is still interested in Al. She visited him when the International All-Star Circus, on which he plays trumpet, was in Ashville, N.C. Should I continue in my attempt to win her over?
Lil does want me to came down for New Years. I far could I get with her if I went down?
I will probably call the International All-Star Circus in Sarasota tomorrow. It is time that I get a definite committment for next year. Apparently, no show or organization is going to call me. Show Owners, producers, etc., are just not 'dying' for my services.
If I had a way overseas, I would try for a European of Israeli circus.
I completed the reading of "The Circus in Ameica" last night This Charles Philip Fox-Tom Parkinson bok is, I have found, the best historical referece on this artform. It really made me love and understand the circus beter.

(8th, Around 6:30 P.M.) I have just finish typing a letter to Harcourt Brace Jovanovich Bookstore in New York. This place was the publishers of a book about Hoxie Tucker, "Mud Show," by a Fred Powledge, in 1975. Mac, the 24-hour Man last season on Hoxie Bros, Circus, offered all season to let me read this more-or-less biogaphy of Mr. Tucker, but I never got around to it. Lil also had a copy.
I did write down bibliographical data (publisher, date, catalogue number) that was in the front of the book. I did this before parting with Mac in Miami.
Soon after I got to Childersburg, I wrote to Harcurt Brace Jovanovish about securing a copy of "Mud Show." Last week I received a letter from a Rose Terranova advising me that this book was out-of-print, and if I desired, they would search out-of-print sources in an attempt to locate a copy.
I wrote to Harcourt Brace Jovanovish Bookstore tonight, asking them to search out-of-print book sources for a copy of "Mud Show."
This morning, around 9:00 A.M., I called the International All-Star Circus in Sarasota. When a female answered, I said I was a Clown, had have last worked for Hoxie Bros. Circus. This seemed to impress her. I was connected with Mr. Nord Mark, the owner of the show. He, too, sounded impressed by the Hoxie experience. He was very business.
Mr. Mark 'took' my phone number. Mr. Heinz Rucker hires, but he is presently on the road. The 1981 tour lasts until December 23.
This circus was in Birmingham November 28. It will be in Selma, Friday, and Montgomery, Saturday.
I feel good about this contact.
It is to my understnding that this show has several periods of 2-3 weeks vacation throughout a season. Such will, hopefully, allow me to attend the International Festival of Clowning in June, work at the World's Fair, and play Disney World.
Of course, I am "counting my chickens before they are hatched."

(Around 7:40 P.M.) I wrapped <a style="font-style:oblique;font-weight:bold;" id="intext_link_2369710" href="#83796" rev="0" rel="Vn0CdQAwBj4ILwRzBDsAdgQ8DScEN1h7VzJfaVElATpTcFd2ATdSbgsmBSdQLAUjBjldOQVlCmhRPFZXVyRVdVZqAnUAYQZ5CD4EcAQgAHQEYg1ZBCJYBVd X2dRMgE2U2dXLAEsUm4LOQVsUGQFYgY2XTwFbwpgUXlWa1c VWpWWgJ4ACkGPgglBHEEOABwBHYNdQRlWClXbl9qUTIBKlM V3YBO1JoC3gFNFA3BTIGY11sBTwKJlFnViVXY1U3VjcCZQBqBmsIZwQzBGUANgRsDTUEP1hsV2ZfNFFmAWZTMlcxAWhSNwttBT1QNgU4BmpdZgU8Ci1RNlZuVzdVTlZCAmoAagZsCGUEPQRtADQEfg12BGRYPVdsXzJRZwF1U2pXZgFnUkMLEwVVUHYFQAY8XTMFWgpIUWdWLlciVW5WcgIyADMGNAglBHAEaQBzBC8NcgQjWBdXNF95UQMBMlNkVywBOVJgCzgFJ1AsBSMGL107BWUKf1F1VjJXc1VuVmgCIwA BiMIIgQmBCk=" class="intext_ad_1341635247" onclick="return(false);">Christmas</a> grifts tonight. For Lee, it was Silly Sand and Chinese Rings; for Larry, a dart game. This will be sent Thursday, along with Mama's stuff.
I bought a snap-together Model car for Steve and Scot, each. I will send this to Miani LaKes Friday, again with Mama's stuff.
Last week I bought a box of snap beads (large plastic) from Joyce. She had got it for Ki Ki, Claude's niece, who was one year old. It was never given to her. This present is for Jesse Holt. The beads are for "6 mos.-4 years," and Jesse will be only 2 months Christms, but his 6-month birthday will be here before you know it.

(10th, About 6:35 P.M.) Cold weather is here; it did not get above the low 40 degrees todday. I feel like I am in Vermont in August.
I typed a letter to "The Saint Bernard Times," the newsletter fom St. Benard Abbey near Cullman, Al., last night. It concerned the Summer 1981 edition of "The Times," which carried a photograph of me entertaining 3 monks. I asked if there were any more copies - 3 copies was forwarded to me while I was on the road - that could be sent to me. I asked if the original negative or print conld be sent to me.
The circus played St. Bernard Abbey the last of April. In the picture, I am sporting thr bozo-clown make-up I wore at the beginning of the season.
I mailed the letter this morning.

(Approx. 7:30 P.M.) Last Thursday I took 2 prints (the negative to one, also) of me in make-up and costume when I was with Hoxie Bros., to Wesson's Pharmacy here in Childersburg, to have copies made. I cropped them like I wanted, and ordered 2-5 X 7 of each. I was told to phone the folowing week to see of this order was ready.
Yesterday, I called Wesson's, and were told that my order was back, but there was no charge listed, and a sticker on the front of the envelope that stated, 'Note Enclosed.' I was puzzled as to what was up.
This afternoon, Joyce took me by the drugstore to pick up the order (an out-of-town company did the photographic work), but only one of the prints were there.
I let Audry Flesch, the cleck, open the envelope. A sheet with several list of 'reasons,' had a 'check,' and circled, that the company couldn't comply with my cropping instructions. (continued)




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