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2012-02-05 11:06:22 (UTC)

Dear Diary, Wow it's finally..

Dear Diary,
Wow it's finally good to find someone who wont tell my secrets to anyone. Well it's been a long time since i've written in a diary... but here i go... Well yesterday i had 'fight'with my grandmother about a chinese pastel. My grandfather told me he bought 2 for me but when i went to pick them up for dinner my grandmother told me it was only one and that she had eaten the other... uh oh right... Well she told me my mother helped her finish the pastel. I was angry so things sliped. Things that i now regret. I called my mother a traidor and other things. But the thing is, is that everything was fine and i thought that this was all a BIG misunderstanding and that it would be over by this morning. But once again i was wrong... very wrong. So this morning when my grandfather came over he said that my grandmother was upset and i was im my room so i didn't get much what they were saying. But i think that my mom said that i take advantage of my garndmother and that the way that she treats me makes me think that i can 'discuss'thing with her. If your mom told you that how would you feel? Bad right. exactly that's what i felt and still feel. And to top it all off i feel hated. Yes HATED by my own FAMILY!! Now things seem to be awkward now. But after lunch which should be in a while i'm going to ask God for forgiveness. I feel like a such a bad person. I'm a 13 year old girl. What really sucks is that tomorrow i have to go back to school. END OF SUMMER VACATION!!! UGHHH!!! It sucks. So this week started of really bad!!! I just hope that God will give me peace at heart because right now i reaaly need it. What really upsets me is that my grandmother can't keep her BIG mouth shut about anything. ANd then she says that my aunt her own sister gosspis so much but she doesn't even look at herself. That really pisses me of!!! I just feel so overwhelmed. But i was on my facebook this mornig and i was reading some bible versus and that really calmed me. I just really want to cry right now but i cant i gotta wait till my mom falls asleep so i can talk to God and cry alittle. I can't really sleep or feel comfortable when i know someone's mad at me. I guess thats a good thing right? Well after i come back form lunch and talk to God i will come back and tell you what happended ok? Well i'll see you soon and wish me luck when i go down for lunch!!!!