2012-01-24 23:05:12 (UTC)


nothing hurts more than your ex telling you everything's okay when it's not. he told me to write it out, so here i go.

you are a fucking piece of shit you're a fucking manwhore and i hate your fucking guts, you ripped my heart out and i wish you were never born and i had never introduced you to my friends because you make my heart hurt so much. i wish i could die to make you happy. but i can't. i can't die fast enough because it would make things easier on me than what you put me through. you fight with me so intensely but your words are like steel fists and punch holes in my heart. you believe i can be like you and get over what you say but i can't get over what we had.

you son of a bitch, that i'm so deeply in love with.

i want to find you and start bating the shit out of you with a frying pan. that's how i feel. but at the same time i want to be in your jacket hugging cuddling and kissing again under a full moon. all this time i thought you'd be different and it hurts because you're the same and it hurts so much. jesus christ i don't even know how after this fight that i'm still alive and stable condition but my knuckles hurt. i want to open your eyes. i want you to see that i want you again. but i don't and i do but i really don't. i don't want you back but i long for what we had. that hug almost cracked my tears wide open. i just held them in to please you,

because i made everything all about you. and letting me go was a stupid, stupid, idiotic idea and i just can't get over the audacity you had to do hurts so much i can't even feel how much i love you anymore.

you have, no, idea.