Sylvia

Remember
2012-01-24 19:00:44 (UTC)

Of current thoughts...

I decided to pick it back up- it being lunch now, I have a bit of time. I think Kaci is mad at me. I dunno. I mean, I've been mad at her... but, right now, I think she's upset because...well, I won't give her what she wants. That seems to be a problem of hers- she's spoiled. I hate that. I know I really shouldn't talk about my friends, but she knows (I told her yesterday) what I think of her. I'll talk more to her about...some issues she has, the ones that get under my skin. Like being a spoiled brat. She always wants her way. Why can't she learn- that by /not/ asking is the best way to get what you want? I've learned that. I never ask for anything (I do, of course, think it) yet I get everything I want. Or, almost anything. Just items, really. I'm not spoiled- shoot, I've been through too much to be like that- but I get what I need, and a little extra, which is satisfying. I am pleased with what I have, y'know? Or, try to be. Then again, I am not happy at all living with my dad and step-mom, and I'm not too grateful to them, but I definitely have some VERY good reasons.

I was telling my friend the other day... Well, I was trying to tell her why I disliked her. I found that I couldn't tell her one thing without having to tell her a whole nother story (...nother looks wierd...). I have noticed- all my thoughts flow together. Every single thought I think has it's own story and background, and each one ties into another, and another... Every word I say has /some/ meaning to it. Every sentence is more likely than not very thought out.

Here I will take a short digression to what just now happened, then I will come back to my thoughts.
My friends wait for my other friend to come out of class. They meet up, then we all go to lunch (I don't wait for the one coming out of class late, I wait at the table where we sit). Just now, they had come back. My friend, Anna- who is...akin to a rival with Kaci (the friend that I am not really getting along with right now), just came back and said how Kaci was upset at the fact that I gave another of my friends- Kitty- a link to this diary, and that I would let Kitty read this whenever she'd like. Now, Kaci doesn't know about my giving /Anna/ a link to this, too- leaving Kaci the only one not knowing about this journal (or, rather, leaving her not able to /read/ it). If she finds out about Anna knowing it... she's going to be P'D. Badly. I am still debating whether to give it to her, but I feel as if I'd be restricted in my writing if she knew the link. She's so controlling...
That's the complete opposite purpose of this diary. I want it to be completely FREE. My last diaries- the two before this, the ones written... I knew something might happen to them, so I restricted my writing a little, the second a LOT. I don't want that to happen to this one. If I did give her the link, and kept my writing unrestricted, she might...well, decide to be controlling. Or make /some/ sort of comment on what I'm writing. I don't want that, I don't like that. Maybe she wouldn't, still. Ah, well. Back to my thoughts.

Like I was saying, my every thought...my every action...
It all has meaning.

You know what, I can't really concentrate. I'll write more after school.

Farvel, da pabachznnya...
Sofi




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