Jan

My life in the making
2012-01-17 03:45:55 (UTC)

I guess i'm not good at anything.

For some reason this is a sad entry.
I've never really thought about it.. But tonight i'm actually sitting here in tears, because I realized i'm not actually good at anything. Like.. Tonight me and my dad got in this fight cause he got mad at me cause I couldn't fold clothes right. And.. this isn't the first time he got mad at me because I failed at something. And then I got to thinking about how my mom says "you suck at sports. Just being real" I know I do. But after every game she has some comment. And every time I get my report card, they always say "It could've been better" and it seems like everyone else got a higher grade than me. And I know I can't sing. I can't dance either. I'm not even funny. Or that pretty. I can't cook. I can't play an instrument. I can't draw. I can't do poetry. Even the weird nerds are good at something. Like Emily Wilson, shes great at drawing. And shes known for her drawing pretty much. What am I known for? The chick who can't do anything right? The one who has no good talent? Shes only "okay" at everything? Because that is what I am. I'm okay. I have OKAY grades. I draw OKAY if I try my hardest. I look OKAY. I cook OKAY. Theres nothing i'm good at. I suck at everything. I'm nice to people, on the outside.. But deep inside i'm kind of mean. I don't know what to do. I don't want to ask my friends "am I even good at anything" I don't wanna ask anyone because I know they will lie just to make me feel better. It seems like all my friends always end up getting the guys.. Have much prettier hair than me. And what do I have? An emotional break down? Yeah. Thats what I fucking have. Mostly i'm inspiring. But tonight, I need a little inspiration. What am I suppose to do? Why all the sudden did this hit me?




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