octmist63

libralove
2012-01-14 22:48:49 (UTC)

in the beginning

In the beginning of any love affair everything seems magical and we overlook shortcomings and things that will later aggravate and irratate us.

Let me begin with my third marriage which may end up like my first and second.

i met my current husband through friends of the family. He seemed like a nice enough guy, i wasn't really impressed, but that is when people have a tendency to grow on you. Sometimes we settle for what we can get instead of waiting... lesson learned...again.

When we started out, things were ok not great. I saw him as a hard working man that was down and out on his luck. He was separated just waiting on the papers. In the meantime, his house was on the verge of being sold. He was in need. For some reason, i always seem to attract those in need.

He had a garbage route in Barren County that was semi successful. So here i go again, thinking to myself, ok i have a job, actually two jobs. Maybe if we have a life together things will be better for both of us. Not looking for a rich man, but am looking for a man that has my back. A decent man, a man that when we have problems he can step and do what needs to be done.

We got married in August and things have gone down hill ever since.
His business is a failure, mostly because he will not run the garbage route.Blames everyone except himself. If you are providing a public service, then you need to be on time. If you want to be paid, do the job the right way. So here I go again trying to help. I start keeping the books, mailing out bills, trying to cut the route down to a managable number. We live in a different county now, which means more gas. He has a huge monster of a truck that burns more gas than carter has liver pills....strike one. i tried everything, pawning my jewelry to help him the business,trying to save out a little extra change for gas. nothing worked.

He goes out and for eight hours of work he might get 30.00 which is ate up in gas which means no profit...sttrike 2.

I have two jobs, a herniated disc, and arthritis in both knees..but I am still working...looking for extra shifts...trying to do every thing I can possible do to keep the household together. I have no financial help, no spiritual help, no emotional help, and the sex stinks...add ED to the problem.....strike 3-12. so what am i to do?

A dear friend said to me..Sis you can only do a couple of things..stay to see what happens next or get out. I do not consider myself a quitter or a coward, but...............I would be no worse if I were by myself again than I am right now with someone that is just here taking up space on my couch looking at tv and eating.




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