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RandomRamblings
2012-01-12 02:23:13 (UTC)

Changing habits, starting life

I read somewhere on a blog that if you want to change habits you just need to start doing something new regularly and the habit will form. The same blog mentioned that if you like writing, you should write. So here goes - I will try and form a writing habit as I do love writing and hopefully the more I write the better I will become at it. (Apologies if anyone is reading this at this beginning stage, but I WILL learn to write.) Another thing I read, don't say you can't, or persist with a negative attitude.Rather believe in yourself and you'll succeed.

I wonder if there are other people out there wanting a change but not knowing exactly what they want to change. I often say I don't enjoy teaching and I want to do something else but when people ask , 'what would you do?' I have no idea.

To be honest I do enjoy a lot about teaching, just not the pressure I put on myself. I love getting to know the teenagers I teach, making them laugh or helping them to love the subject I enjoy so much myself. But I hate the constant preparation and the coming up with new ideas to engage, and new strategies to deal with poor behaviour. Sometimes I wish my teaching job was one long camp - a camp where I could just spend time with the kids and learn about them, their fears, their dreams.. and be able to influence their life decisions in a positive way. Sometimes it's a drag to force my specific subject down a teenager's throat (even though I love it). I mean not every kid is going to take to Japanese are they? The problem with teaching though is you're not given enough time to stop and teach kids about real life, values, having an open mind, how to survive in the big wide and sometimes wild world as an adult... Everything is to a strict timeline. They must get through this many chapters by this month, they need to know this writing script by the end of this year. They have to know 250 kanji and a zillion grammar points by the year 12 exam.. There's just no time to stop and enjoy.

But enough about that. Something that makes me really happy is my little puppy. Actually she isn't a puppy anymore but to me she still seems like a baby. I don't think I've loved anything so entirely in my life. A horrible reality I suppose as that means I haven't loved a boyfriend or my family that much. The boyfriend part would be true - something wrong with me there but I'm sure I feel a similar leel of love for my family. I must. But nothing beats this feeling with my dog. I wake each morning to have her jump on my bed for cuddles and I watch TV with her sprawled out on my chest. She is constantly on my mind and I hate leaving her at home while I work. But then on my return I am always greeted by such a welcome. She sits in the bathroom each time I have a shower and flies with me to Tasmania when I visit my family. I can't help glancing at her every few moments even when I am buried deep in my work or trying to read. Her ear is sticking straight up right now as she lies on the couch watching me. Too cute!It's probably not healthy to love a pet this much as I know one day she won't be around. But to someone who struggles to love it is nice to experience this overwhelming emotion which I cannot control - even if it is for an animal.

This message is living up to my title - random ramblings. I'm meant to keep this short. Apparently that's what you do. Next time.




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