*Rilicia*

*The Life of Disordered Eating*
2012-01-10 19:40:12 (UTC)

THANK YOU

Whoever invented or started the spit and chew, THANK YOU. This is new for me, and I am loving it. My weight this morning (7am) was 264, down 9 pounds in 9 days!! I was SO hungry when I left work yesterday, so I stopped at McDonalds at got 2 mcdoubles, then a little chew and spit...and I wasn't hungry anymore. It totally makes my cravings go away!!

Den stayed home from work last night :( I had stopped and got a veggie sub, and was waiting for Den to go to work so I could get a little chew and spit action, but he never left!! So I hid in the bedroom, claiming I was watching a scary movie, so I could have some privacy. He came in and was looking at the bag beside me (I was spitting the food in a paper towel and putting it in the bag), so I had to distract him. CLOSE ONE!! After that (about 1/2 of the sub) I decided to pick all the veggies off and eat them and feed the bread and cheese to my dog. I could not enjoy my chew and spit time with him there.

This morning on my way to work I stopped and got 2 sauage biscut sammies from McDonalds and had a chew and spit party in my office. I find it very rewarding. Plus I had my morning Black Jax. I am actually getting ready to have my afternoon Black Jax. I drink a lot of fluids (water, diet mountain dew (DMD) or flavored water) but they never contain calories, so I don't mention them much here. I did stop at a little grocery store between clients and bought a bag of purple grapes, I wasn't hungry, but I figure I can only go so long on chew and spit, I'll have to get something, and it has to be an approved food.

Approved foods...fruit, veggies. No carbs, no sugar/sweets, no meat, no protein. This is my approved foods for the week, the weekend is a different story (Den is home, makes me eat). Den wants to take me to dinner on Sunday, and i'm scared shitless about it. He wants to go to a buffett, but I don't want to eat food, and I am unable to make myself vomit (I have tried and tried). So I really hope this one day won't break my diet. Maybe I can fake some tooth pain or something.

I love being able to keep all my thoughts in such a private place. I also love that no one knows I am doing this. It is like the most free prison I could ever imagine. 9 pounds down, 114 pounds to go, at this rate i'll be thin in 6 months....fuck yes!!!




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