Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
2012-01-09 02:56:39 (UTC)


Friday, January 6, 2012


I'm at work, sitting anxiously for the work day to be over. I'm going on a "date" with a coworker. I have a gazzllion thoughts racing through my head. I'm scared. I need to write in this to help ease myself.

What are my concerns? I'm worried that the date will be a total flop. What if it's awkward and then we'll be awkward with each other at work? It may happen and it's a risk I think we're both taking.

I also don't know what he's thinking and it's eating me up inside. At least when it's with a guy I text with on a daily bases, eventually they become vocal with their feelings, but in this case, it is different in many aspects. First off, I don't have this guy's number or facebook. Secondly, we both email each other via work e-mail. Sometimes I'll email him first, or he'll email me.

It just occured to me. I think I'm anxious because I feel like I'm being too forward and this poor bastard doesn't want to shut me down completely. I invited him out to lunch with me on Wednesday, only because last time he regreted not going to where I was going for lunch. He decline. Then I brought up this pool match he that initated.

I feel like I'm doing a lot of the chasing, but I also feel confident in what I'm doing. I could have asked/given him my number and made him add me on facebook, but I didn't. I'm balancing it out?

I'm feeling a lot better writing this down.

I just need to remind myself that I'm talking to other guys as well. If it doesn't work out with him, that's perfectly fine.

I'm be all right :)