MixedBitch

Invincible
2012-01-07 01:13:24 (UTC)

A little about my past

Dear diary,

It's finally a new year. oh joy, and i mean that in the most sarcastic way possible. How am i going to "start out fresh" this year when I can't forget the past

On the outside I'm just a normal happy teenage girl. When you look at me, you would not know my inner battles, and what has happend in my life time. everyone has had their ups and downs. But mine has always been a little different.

My mom had me at 16, and had my younger brother when she was 17. At this time my coward of a father left us. When I was 3 my mom met a guy named terry, and soon enough they were engaged and we moved in and she got pregnant with his kid. Happy ending right? Thats what my mom thought.
Well soon enough after his daughter, my sister, was born he began to hit my mom, punch her, push her down the stairs, and when I finally turned 5 it was my turn. I suffered cigarette burns, table spoons of bleach, cold showers, had to watch him bottle feed alcohol to my baby sister and much much more. finally when i was 7, he pulled out a knife on her. she thankfully manage to escape, and call the police. he was arrested, and that night, we all left town, moving in with my grandparents.

After that I was constently moving around until the age of 9 when my mom left. Or so it felt like it. My mom was working all the time. I lived with my babysitter who just sat on her ass and did nothing. I was in charge of cooking, and had to bascially take care of my brother, my mentally delayed sister, her youngest daughter, and her handicap son. I was on my own.

If that didn't hurt enough every time I did get to see my mom, she was with a new guy. And as soon as I began to trust them, she had a new one.

When I was 11 she met a guy named shevon. she kept around longer then the other guys did. He was nice, funny, and an illegal immagrant. we then moved once again, and he moved in with us. i expected him to hit her, but he never did. 1 year went by and he still never hit her. Shortly after they got married. that's when they started agueing more.. One day at school my teacher got a phone call, it was for me. It was my mom, I heard her crying at the other end. she told me after school to go home, not to talk to shevon, and just pack my things, and go to the end of the street, she'd be waiting for me and my brother at the end of the street..

We did as we were told, when we got into the car, she drove us to one of her friends houses and told us we were staying their for a while. she then kissed us told us she loved us, and left. weeks went by and we never saw her. and One night shevon rang the door bell, and looked t us through the window. I wasn't stupid, I knew we weren't suposed to be found by him. Moms friend told us to go to her room and hide. we did as we were told. Finally we went back down and pretended like nothing happend.

After another week mom and shevon picked us up. as confused as I was, I didn't ask any questions, and we went back to my grandmas. One year after a finally normal happy life, they bought a townhouse, and we moved in.
After moving my mom became pregnant, and i noticed shevon became very mean. He was the boss, he was the rule maker, he never cared about us, only him him him. If his meal wasn't cooked we got in trouble. He like, brainwashed my mom, because my mom agreed with everything he said.

At the age of 14, freshman in highschool, I was sent to bed by 8pm, I wasn't aloud to hang out with friends outside of school, wasn't aloud a cell phone (which is very unheard of), and did very well in school. But one day I wanted to fit in, and told my mom I was going to study, meanwhile I went to a party. I honestly didn't plan on drinking, but being one of the two girls there, I was pressured into it. Long story short, i blacked out and woke up at some chicks house. Somehow my grandpa found out where i was and picked me up.

well long story short, my mom moved me into my grandparents and handed over full custody.

a few months after i went to visit my dad with my brother. i woke up one night from loud noises. i go out to the living room only to see them really really really drunk. i shrugged it off. my father then brought out his cocaine and tried giving it to us, after hopeless attempts he gave up and handed me a beer and told since i had seen that, i had to drink it. after refusing it he forced my mouth open and poured some in. by this time i was scared. i only drank one beer, because i was clever enough to just refill an old one with water and pretend it was new. later on he beat my brother with a baseball bat, i obviously was crying and screaming for hi to stop. he did and sent us to our rooms. long story short i called my grandpa to come pick us up, and we did. my dad was so drunk he didn't remember anything that happened tat night.

Well diary, I'll continue this story later. In the next entry you will learned what happend in my past year of living with my grandparents. But don't worry after I introduce to you to my past, you will begin to get to know me now, and soon enough know my twisted inner thoughts.

xoxo




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