I spoke to my neighbor the other night. We both came home late and saw each other getting out of our cars so we chatted for awhile. She has her own issues and we share our problems.
She is pregnant and her boyfriend is a deadbeat. The home she is in is on the market. She already knows my story. I told her I'm moving soon. She doesn't know what to do. She says she feels sorry for me coz the kids aren't around anymore and she can put two and two together.
I replied with "no problem" been there done that multiple times so I'm not drastically moved by what the ex does anymore. That is when she says I'm jaded. The way I can hold myself under these weird events she says is not normal. I had an idea of what jaded meant but I Googled it just to make sure. After I read what it meant, I guess I agree with her. I didn't realize I can tolerate more that I should and that it's not normal. Sigh..... what have I become?
So now that I've become what I had to be to tolerate the cruel shit that the ex laid on me, it's not normal? I guess it is what it is. Now what? It's not like I can change stripes. I did what I had to do to not go insane. Even when Hottie indicated she wasn't interested in me romantically, I didn't get phased by it.
I wonder what happened to that young kid that was pure in heart and never had a sour thought inside him? I miss that kid.
That's all for now diary.
the jaded man...
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