Experienced Life
2011-12-17 15:18:24 (UTC)

Date with Hottie!

Well, we had to reschedule my date with Hottie so it's for tonight instead. I've known her for about a year now and all of a sudden, I get her address, phone # and we are now friends of facebook.

Can't wait for tonight. I'm so out of touch with all this, I'm not even thinking of the normal "man brain" thinking. You know, that ever needing S-E-X. It's been so long since I had a normal person to converse with one-on-one that all I want is just a nice enjoyable time together. That's how messed up my life was.

Anyway, I ran errands today and forgot my phone. Got a message from another nice lady. She's a nice goody-goody woman so I don't know why she would want to have anything to do with me. Her voice msg said she forgot her jacket from the last time. We went to my company X-mas party and she left it. She added if I wanted to grab a movie too.

I have no clue on what is going on. I think about this and maybe I may have an answer. Most likely, it's just my stupid imagination but here is my theory on why I'm all of a sudden getting some attention.
A few weeks ago, I finally told the ex that it was time to cut off all ties with her. No friends, zero chance of her coming back to me and she can do what she wants but it will be without me in her life.
This was tough to do because I knew it meant that I would have to let go of the kids. This would be her response to me rejecting her. I thought and thought about this and I finally was at peace with my decision.

I guess it bothered me a bit because the kids need me for their only source of stability. I knew that they will become like her should I not intervene in the kids' lives. Still, I had to. If it came to that, I have to do it. To get what I want in life, I have to make sure that I start with a clean slate. No ties whatsoever with the Ex. I knew she will pull the "I won't let you spend time with kids" answer but I was ready for it and can accept it. I need some me time now.

Sometime after I made that decision in my head and expressed it to my Ex, the house of course received it's expected ransacking and the ex took a bunch of my stuff. Again, I already knew this was going to happen. Then I got a text from the ex saying that she will be moving out of State ( I assume to her Mom's in Nevada). Again, an expected response from her and she didn't get a rise out of me there too.

I was at peace with all that. I was not upset or fighting for that calm serenity that the Ex always seemed to steal from me. I was honestly and truly ok with it. Sure, it upsets and saddens me a little that people can be some cruel but again, it's not my problem anymore.

I also gave my 30 day notice for this rental I'm at. 4 bedrooms are just a bit too much for one man and I think it's time for a change anyway. If there are some nice memories here that may impede my sanity, then moving out will take care of that.

It's been a good month for me. Hoping this is my life finally turning that all elusive corner. If not, so be it. I'm revived and am ready to kick ass in 2012.