hopelessly bored

trial and error
2011-12-17 17:48:52 (UTC)

my soul starts to burst

i'm happy with my life?

yes. i am.

i took 8 months off from school, because i wasnt happy with the path i was following. i'm headed in a different direction now.

i am going back in january, to study chemical engineering. i will achieve honors and graduate to make a pretty good amount of money, because i am determined to do so.

but maybe i'll change my mind again. i am prepared for that and it wont disappoint me like it did before.

my biggest fear is losing kyle. or losing my parents, strangely. because i feel like they just dont know how much they mean to me, even my dad. even though we barely talk. and when we do it is weird. i wonder if he thinks so too.

but i really do love them. i know how much they've done for me, something i couldn't understand when i was growing up and living in their house. but now i see the sacrifices they've made, and i know that everytime they ever did something that made me mad, it was because they truly thought it was best for me. even if i dont agree with it as an adult, i now am old enough to make my own decisions. but i know their intention was never to hurt me.

i am so lucky that i was raised by such good people, really. there are so many people who arent nearly as lucky as i am. i am sooo thankful. no matter what problem i have with my parents, i know that they love me, and i love them.

so it is ok.

my life is good. i look forward to the future. i dont feel depressed. well, i do sometimes. but it passes, and that is the important part.




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