Jessicat

Wye Oak
2011-12-15 21:24:09 (UTC)

But here's my number, so call me, maybe.

I dunno. I got my internet working. It's limited, but who cares. The signal goes on and off, on and off, on and off, but I suppose that's what you get for living in buttfuck nowhere.
I feel bad for Jim. No man is a man without being there for his kids. None. It's just humanly impossible. They are your responsibility, so step up, or you aren't a man. Jim is twice the man, because he WANTS to be there for his kid, but my mom won't let him. Michael deserves a father. I never had one. Well, I did, but my mother made me hate him. If anything happens, I'm making sure Michael doesn't turn against his father like I did to mine. Sure, Jim did something totally unfair, and it was stupid. But, like me, we don't say sorry. We don't like admitting defeat. We like to have pride, and we like to prove that we are strong. He's an Aries too, and Aries are like that.
I forgive Jim. I don't care that the internet is gone. That means nothing when a child is going to live a life like mine. Nothing. Because every child, deserves to have a mother and father there for them.
You, the person who is reading this right now, because I know someone has read this, have to promise me, right now, without even knowing me, one thing. If you ever get married, and have children, don't get a divorce, unless you absolutely have to. Think about your children; how would they feel? Like crap. If you aren't stable with relationships, and want kids, adopt, or have sex with a guy without marriage. I believe it's better if parents aren't married, and they just split apart.
My parents were married for nearly 20 years, and it ended horribly when I was 4/5. It didn't affect me much during the years, and even when it was all happening, I didn't mind it. I honestly, swear to god, thought ever parent faught like mine did. Turns out, I was wrong. As I got older, my memories started coming back to me. The fights, the betrayal, and the lies. Especially the lies; a good relationship is one without fibs. How I turned against my dad, and then my mom, and my grandmother; I never did forgive my grandmother. No matter how hard I try, I cannot forgive my grandmother, for lying to my father about my mother. She was the reason it all ended. 20, beautiful years, all ended.
There's still nothing as beautiful as their wedding photo, that used to hang on the wall in the living room. Nothing. Close- but nothing.
My brother was affected, too. He used to make songs; I remember I got his old computer. On it, was a recording of one of his songs... it was about the divorce. He- was much older than I was. He was about 11/12, so he remembered everything; clearly. I blame the divorce for his addiction to drugs, and his police records.
But, I want to say, that I am so proud of my brother for starting to piece his life together. He got a job, and he was trying to get enough money to become a security guard. Let me tell you, I guarantee, he would be a good one.
Me, on the other hand, I remmeber so little, and I am as afraid as a little girl at night. I fear for my life- that I might get a divorce. Now a days, divorce is aparently the new marriage.

Want to know what I want to do? I want to show the world wrong, that marriage is the new divorce. People are being too pesimistic, and they need more optimisim. Thankfully, I have lots to share.

But I'm tired, so Goodnight.


Scott wasn't on today. I didn't really talk to Cynthia. I did to Alice though... but I'm becoming even more socially awkward each and every day. It sucks.




Ad: