Phillip Wilson

Amazingly, I survived my Life
2011-09-11 00:00:01 (UTC)

1980 REVIEW (PART ONE)

1 January (Happy New Year!), Childersburg, AL

(about 7:55 A.M.) I finished the reading of "Kon-Tiki" around 11:00 P.M. last night. The book provided me with information about history, geography, and marine life.
The time is about 7:55 A.M., at this writing. Today also starts a new decade. I would say that 1973, 1976. and 1979 were the 3 years that contributive to my artistic growth. 1977 was a bad year.
If I don't get an engagment by the 28th of this month, my 30th birthday, I am leaving the business. The 80's will not find me knocking on doors like in the 70's.
I have threaten to get out of mime before, but something always comes along. Do I do this to force the hand of God?
It is my opinion that all my impatience and flustrations result from my feeling that I am something special. I cannot accept the fact that I am just like everybody else. The reason I became Baha's is probably because I wanted be be different.
Anticapation and anixiety is causing me to be emotional unbalance. Please God, let me develope the dicipline and will power to have patience. I think these virtues are good for my art.

(9:30 P.M.) I prepared some solo material to send to Jacob's Pillow Dance Festival in Massachusettes, held in the summer months, earlier. Tomorrow afternoon I hope to get some others 'xeroxed'at City Hall and mail the information off. I wouldn't mind teaching at this place, a bery inportant dance 'event.'
Mama, Leslie, and I played 2 games of "Clue," a game of "Uno," and a game of "Spades." I won all four. In "Spades" the goal was 300 points. I got exactly this amount.
Is this winning streak indicative of 1980? I hope.
Without a definite job, I really don't get into praticing and training; maybe my career as a Clown-Mime is only a dream. I don't want to encourage it.

3 Jamuary (Thursday), Childersburg, AL

(Approx. 6:50 P.M.) I began the reading of "Priest-Kings of Gor," the 3rd volume in The Chronicles of Counter-Earth, a 7-piece work by John Norman. This was one of the books given to Mama by Norma. This is the only book of the series I have, but if it is good, I am sure the other sex can be found. (About 2:00 P.M., the reading began.)
This book is Science Fiction. I have read about 1 1/2 Chapters; it appears to be an adventure story in the future on another planet, but maybe is has a deeper meaning.
I know that I am trying to develope patience concerning the advancement of my career, but, here it is, January 3, and nothing for 1980 is definite. Financially, I don't have to work at an 'outside' job for at least 3 or 4 weeks so that my chances with Affiliate Artists will be enhanced.
The "Dance Magazine Annual '80" ad hasn't, as yet, brought shit. Will it ever?
Why won't someone give me a chance? I have now reached the point of being a great Clown-Mime.

4 January, Childersburg, Al.

(11:10 A.M.) Oh God, please help me to realized how fortunate I am to have a niece and nephew that can provide me with the expience of being a 'Father.' Help me to be a good influence on them. Give me patience with them.
Please let my supervision of David not be controlled by the Mime business.
I have an appointment for a physical exam at the Western Heath Center on Ensley on Friday, January 18, at 1:00 P.M. This slot was 'given' to me earlier wheb I called.

9-10 January (Wednesday-Thursday), Childersburg, Al.

(9TH, A little past 6:30 P.M.) Am I to assume that the position with the mime troupe "Touch" is not mine? As of yet no response has been received from them.
Am I being saved for an Affiliate Artists appointment? Something else?
I am sick of getting uptight ad flustrated over my mime career. If something comes, it will come. Otherwise, I don't care if I do mime ever again. The rest of my life will be from day to day.
I hope I can walk away from mime. It is not worth the problems it has brought.
My past has involved some beartiful performances. There is no reason for me to regret my departure from the business.
My plans are to visit New Orleans February 17-20 (?) for the Mardi Gras. I have never seen this event; it may be interesting. Please keep me from Street Mime, unless I receive a guarentee fee.
I really don't feel my life will be a failure if I stay a 'bum' the rest of my earthly existence.

(10th, About 7:53 A.M.) Last night 2 shows on T.V. helped me in my plight. The first one was EIGHT IS ENOUGH (7-8:00 P.M., ABC). The Character Joani, who is into Acting, was invited to audition for the Western Theatre Academt Repartory Theatre.
The Director afterwards told her "You are wasting your time. I see no talent. Get married, have children . . ."
Needless to say, Joanie was depress. She was going to get a job in a bank (job that required no talent.). Her father (Dick Van Patton plays him) say that she had had the dream of acting since a child, don't let it die.
Joannie (Laurie Walters), who workd for a T.V. station as a file cleck, was finally a chance for On-Camera Work. She was upset because she wanted a job that would use her training.
Joannie was to interview the diredtor she had audition for!
Well, it came across in the 'show' that other jpeople can't kill you dream; only you can.

From 9-10;45 P.M. on P.B.S. (Ch. 10), I watch THE LATHE OF HEAVEN. This Urselu Le Guin story - science fiction - was wierd. It was about a guy who had effective dream; his dreams would change reality. This experience was connected to a nuclear explosion.
"Dreams are not bad, only the dreamer." is sort of what a psychaitrist stated. The context of the statment is long an involved, but by itself, it is a strong principle.
Should I not give up Mime?

(2:30 P.M., approx.) I finished the reading of "Priest-King of Gor." Interesting book. Like a lot of Science Fiction, there were a lot of religius symbology contained within.
I am beginning to re-attacked too much to Mime. Sales material may be sent to the Alabama Shakespearean Festival in Anniston soon.

11 January, Childersburg, Al.

(About 8:53 A.M.) It's not that I should abandon my dream (is should, of course, firstly be decided what it is -star-status is a Mme, or to reach a position of mastery) but not to let ANY factor in my life be all-consuming or meaning the loss of freedom.

(Approx. 3:52 P.M.) Finally, itis official; I was not chosen for "Touch." My mental state is a lot more stable having heard what I felt deep down.
The only other 'job' I will wait for a response from is Affiliate Artists. If this is negative, I will definitely enter snother field.
I received $16 from Joyce for keeping David 4 days this week.

12 January (Saturday), Childersburg, Al.

(Approx. 9:24 A.M.) I have been in this situation before; in outlet always seem to come along. I should not be worrying. Mime can not be the controlling factor of my existence.
My Baha'i activities will be ceases almost totally. Though the Baha'i philosophy has influenced my thinking, past experience has shown me that I do not fit in at Baha'i events; I feel uncomfortable.
Another hurdle I must get over is being envious of performers and artists who are celebrities. Number one, mime is not a popular art form like acting (especially T.V. and films), music, or dance, or should it be. Futher more, celebrities are usually a result of a promotional campaign. It doesn't mean they are necessarily the greatest in their fields. They are 'products.' For me to be treated like this would be contrary to my life style; begrudging 'stars' is hypocritical of me.
If I never work in mime again, it doesn't mean I am no good.

(Approx. 2:47 P.M.) I sent to the Alaama Shakespeare Festival in Anniston, a picture and a 'sales sheet,' in the hope of interesting Martin Platt, artistic director, in hiring me to perform Commedia Dell'Arte, Court Jester, etc., this summer.
I started a collection of editiorial cartoons this afternoon, cut from the Talladega "Daily Home" and the "Birmingham News."
Last summer I promised to do a show for a group - association of University Women (?) - in Birmingham, in Janrary 1980. A Ms. Martinson (?) contacted me. She said I would be reminded by mail 2 or 3 weeks before the time. I think the date is January 22 at 10:00 A.M. The "reminder" will be sent to my Homewood address. I will find out next Friday about this deal; after the Physical Examination, I will visit the Holts.

13-14 January, Childersburg, Al.

(7:49 A.M.) From a little past 10:30 last night until after 3:00 this morning I laid in bed tossing and turning. Was it due to: (a) an emotional state produced by heavy thoughts os sex; (b) having had a 2-hour nap yesterday afternoon; (c) a backache ad being bothered by my cyst; (d0 other factors.
I got out of bed at 7:30 A.M. From 3:00-7:30 I must have slept.

(8:24 A.M. Hoe much are emotional stability inherited? Is my state of mind due to daddy's? (Sex perversion, negative atitude, bitchines at Leslie and David's eating habits, etc.). I have other traits that I didn't see in him, but am I becoming more like him every day? Why? Am I making myself my father I never had? If so, what is the cure for this malady?

15-16 January (Tuesday-Wednesday), Childersburg, Al.

(15th, A little after 9:00 P.M.) I just finished a conversation, over the phone, with a Ms. Martinson, from Birmingham. I talked with her last year when she asled me if I would do a show for the University Women's Association(?). I was biving in Birmingham, then, teachig at Balle UA. and working for Rich's.
On first contact, the show was arranged for the last of September, 1979. Latter, it was changed to the last of January. The original location was a Temple in Highland Avenue, but because of a Jewish holy day, Ms. Martinson said that maybe Southside Baptist church could be had.
I have been halfway preparing for the show next week.
It would be a free-be, but I am hoping to get jobs from it.
Well, my show is schedules for Friday morning, February 22, 1980, at Southside Baptist church. And I managed to wrangle $25 from Ms. Martinson. Upon her asking, I stated $75. This fee is more or less an honorium.
Well, at least I have one more mime outlet in my career!

(16th, About 5:35 P.M.) Late last night I began the reading of "Raiders of Gor," Volume 6 of John Norman's Chronicles of Counter-Earth.
Is the nearness of my 30th birthday a cause for my emotional unrest?
I feel like I contribute to the upbringing of David; But spending 9-5 with Joyce and David, every day, is a bit much. How can I gracefully get out of this? I need to read,exercise, and pratice-rehearse.

18-21 January (Friday-Monday), Homewood/Birmingham/Childersburg, Al.

(18th, 8:25 P.M.) I left the house at around 7:50 A.M. today. No takers on my 'request'for a ride, so I rode the bus to Birmingham. The driver didn't know the fare, so I bought a ticket at the Birmingham station; $3.90. (!)
The driver had asked me what the fare is; I suppose I could have said "$3.00" or something. And I could have walked from the bus station without buying a ticket.
It was about 9.45 A.M. when I arrived in Birmingham.
I went by the Alabama Employment Office on 8th Avenue, North, to see if ther were any C.E.T.A. positions available that my talents could fill. There wasn't.
Around 11:00 A.M., I headed for 2nd Ave., N, and 19th Street, to await City Bus#5, due at that point approx. 11:19 A.M.
I was at Western Health Center, Ave. E. in Ensley, around 12:30 for my 1:00 appointment. Before this, though, I have purchase a quart of Chocolate Milk, turkey slices, and pork skins from a grocery, after having located the health center.
I was given the Physical by a female nurse praticioner. She never did check me below the waist.
I was out by 3:00 P.M. There wasn'tmuch waiting time. And all for $4.00! This even included a chest X-ray.
I arrived back t the house about 6:20 P.M. Three rides got me from 280 (above Rick's). My original plan was to spent the night with the Holts, but no one was home when I went by. Not knowing if, due to a long weekend on Steve's part, they were out of town, I didn't wish to wait, possibly becoming stranded, or having to shell out another $3.90 on a bus trip.

(21st, A bit past 6:00 P.M.) Steve called Friday evening. He and Mary would be at home. I told him that I had been in Birmingham and explained what happened. He gave me his phone number at work; I was invited up.
The following morning Ileft the house around 8:25 A.M. I was in Homewood by 9:50 A.M. One ride took me there, a black Church of God Minsdter. This 'man of the cloth' did not try to "save" me; in fact, it was only towards the end of the trip that Jesus was mentioned, ahd then only because it related to the conversation.
Approx. 12:10 today I arrived back home.
Saturday was a beautiful day. That afternoon Steve, Mary, Mitzi, and I went hiking in Oak Mountain State Park.
Sunday, we went for a short 'trek' inthe Japanese Gardens. This day was cloudy and dreary.
Today was a rainy and cold day.
Steve presented me with a belated Christmas Present; "Zorba, the Greek" by Nikos Kazantzakis. This book is, supposelya 'classic.'
Canasta was play Saturday night. I am not to fond of this card game.
Sunday night we played Clue.
on February 4, at 1:30 P.M., I have an appointment at the Western Health Department on Wnsley to have the pilonidal cyst on my butt examined.
Emotionally, I felt so good, being away from Childersburg.

24 January (Thursday), Childersburg, Al.

(About 6:25 P.M.) So, I feel 1980's will belong to me? They sure got off to a bad start. What will happen?
I won't watch award shows; the reason, I must admit, is jealousy. I tell myself that it is because these performers are not that great, just victums of a lucky break, and good public relations. Bur it may be because I am not worth a damn!
What kurts about my situation is that a lot of people have told me jI am a good mime (performer and teacher.).
What went wrong?
I try to kill this dream of being a full-time Mime, but a small part won't die. If I didn't have a bit of hope, I supppose my will to live would vanish.
Am I being wasted? I keep a hold of the hope that something will come, but will it?
The Affiliate Artist possibility is substaining my drive in mime. If I lose this, I will lose the desire for the artform.

(7:15 P.M.) Ms. Martinson called. In reference to the show I was schedule to present to the Association of University Women, it has been cancelled. The committee won't put out the money.
The business is falling apart!

26-28 January (Saturday-Monday), Childersburg, Al.

(28th,A bit past 6:00 P.M.) I begin my fourth decade of existence of on earth. No comment!
Saturday night-Sunday morning, while in bed, it came to me that the best years of life beginsat 30. Will it?
I wonder if I could teach at Ballet UAB next Quarter, and if I could afford to so so?
The "Fair Store" was broken into last night. A lot was stolen. Is the destruction of society started?

(8:40 P.M.) I completed the reading of "Raiders of Gor" by John Norman. There are points in the book that I must think about; have they meaning, or are they just to make a story?

29-30 January, Childersburg, Al.

(30th, Approx. 8:26 A.M.) I began reading "Zorba the Greek" last night a little after 10:00 P.M.

31 January, Childersburg, Al.

(A tab before 6:30 P.M.) The weather is cold, in the high 20's degrees. It is going down to the high teens, tonight. It will be like this for a while. Winter has finally arrived.

2-5 February, Homewood/Birmingham/Childersburg, Al.

(5th, Approx. 1:56 P.M.) I arrived 'home,' from a trip to Birmingham, around 12:25 P.M. Two rides brougt me, to as far as downtown Childersburg. There were snow flurries this morning - Mountain Brook Schools were closed -, so I was prepared to ride the bus home if my thumb failed me. Why strand myself in the cold?
I went up to Homewood Sunday afternoon, around 4:00 P.M., with Steve and Mary, who had visited the Holts. Joyce had told Mama durning a phone conversation Sunday morning that she had seen the Van parked on the medium Saturday afternoon; the Van was parked in the drive way of the Holts still.(The veicle had 'croaked' just before its destination, across the highway from Joyce's). I latter learned that a mechanic friend of Casey Holt fixed it.
I will not teach at Baller UAB in the Spring; it is too late to arrange such through U.A.B. I went by the ballet office Monday morning to see about an income tax statement. I dropped a hint, and it was answered. I probably never will teach there again.
Pat Riley, the secretary, said that, since I had made under $400, I would receive no statement. Melanie Grebel was also in the office.
I received a W-2 frp, Rich's in Saturday's mail

(4:45 P.M.) I arrived at the Western Health Center in Ensley about 1:20 P.M. My appointment was for 1:30 P.M.
A little before 2:00 P.M. I was called to get weighed and temperature check (I gained 2 pounds since I was there last, a little over 2 weeks ago - 150 lbs to 152 lbs).
It wasn't until about 3:45 P.M. when I was called to be checked. I had, five minutes before, inquired at the desk how much longer it would be until I would be seen after. The receptionist, after inquiries, reported that I would be called next.
I was very impressed with the doctor. He first took a statement from me of the history of the 'cyst,' which he wrote down in my file. When he looked at it, yep, it is a polonidal cyst. It had become infected. His actions suggested that is should be removed as soon as possible. This type of cyst could cause damage latter on. The 'doc' even said that it could become cancerous!
A nurse is to arrange an appointment at Cooper Green Hospital. Due to the lateness of the hour, the Hospital Clinic was close, but I will be informed by mail (to be sent to my Homewood "residence") as to when I should report to Cooper Green
Cooper Gren Hospital is a Jefferson County-run hosipital in 6th Ave., South. It is, more or less, a charity institution.
I was given a perscription of anti-botics. T^he Health Center's Pharmacy sold me the medicine for $3.68. One capsule every 6 hours.
The examination cost me $4.00.

(approx. 6:55 P.M.) I asked Steve or Mary to call me as soon as the letter, announcing me appointment, arrived.
I hope I cah pull off having a residence in Jefferson County.
Am I stealing from the "welfare" system? I preach against Food Stamps and welfare because a lot of people, who are not eligible, receive free or low-cost aid. But am I doing someting similar?
This morning I called U.A.B. After speaking with Payroll, I was referred to Accounts Payable. A record of my earnings will be sent soon; I should receive it soon, so I can figure my income tax returns.

(About 9:31 P.M.) I typed a letter to the National Endowment for the Arts. This is a program that I would like to put together for public T.V.: James Weldom Johnson's "The Creation," Samuel Beckett's "Film," and my own piece about the computer date and "Making the best of a bad situation." I am seeking grant money. This letter will begin the search.
This letter, typed over a 7th- or 8th-generation copy of the caricature of me that Rich's did, will be mailed tomorrow. I hope this project can be aired at least by the Spring of 1981.

6-7 Febriary (Wednesday-Thursday), Childersburg, Al.

(7th, About 6:17 A.M.) Sandy was at home when Joyce, Leslie, and David brought Mama and I home yesterday around 4:30 P.M. And she still isn't home. Is she dead? Is she with a pack of dogs? Was she kidnapped? I wished we knew.
Mama called the dog pound and she had not been brought in.
Why do I feel that she will 'turn up' alive?
I am going on a hunt this morning.
Since Sandy was bad about watching the street, she could have been hit by a car someplace. But where?
I have not been able to bring myself to grief; it makes me angry that I can't. Maybe I won't let myself grieve. Maybe I am a cold-hearted bastard!
Will the death of one of the family make me grief? It could be that I view death in the philosophical way that it is the 'end,'only another growth.
Is it that I have experienced enough pain to be immuned for this? Have I accepted death? Or am I selfish?

(Approx. 9:56 A.M.) Joyce and I drove around looking for sign of Sandy. No seeing her, we tracked down Donald Dobbs, the Postal Carrier (he was by Simm Village). Donald said, aftr I told him that Sandy was missing, that he saw her by the side of the road on 6th Ave, by Ms. Veasey's house. She had been git by a car. When we talked to Ms. Veasey, we were told the city came and got the body. Betty (the daughter) had moved Sandy, still kicking, from the road. She was soon still.
It was a hit-and-run.
Joyce thought that Donald, who travels the whole City, might have seen something.
Even though I can't mourn over Sandy, it saddens me to see Mama and Joyce grieve.

I typed a sales sheet this morning to the American Dance Festival. This, along with a picture and other material, will be sent to the Charles Reinhart Managagement, Inc., in New York City. Even though the Dance Festival is held at Duke University in Durham, N.C., in the summer, Mr. Reinhart, I suppose, books the staff, of which I hope to be a part.

(A little after 10:00 P.M.) Betweem 6:30 and 7:15 P.M., I prpared and typed a letter to Ann Martin of C.B.S. Productions in Muscle Shoals. There was an ad in today's "Birmingham News." announcing the formation af a Road Group. It didn't say what kind, so I enclosed a photo ('playing' guitar) and some sales material, and stated that I was interested in work as a Clown and/or Singer, to please arrange an audition for me. What about this?
Ginger or Prissy have displayed no grief over Sandy's death. Do they not care, or don't dogs know of death (supposively, dogs have E.S.P. among themselves)?

8 February, Childersburg, Al.

(A bit past 7:00 P.M.) Alas! I received an inquiry about my "Dance Magizine Annual '80" ad; from a R. Granny's, 392 Elizabeth Street in San Francisco, California. The second request for information, and both from San Francisco. Does this mean that this is the place I need to go? Will I get a job there?
I am asked about services as a Choreographer/Mime teacher. Tomorrow material will be sent to this customer.
Mary called about 5:40 P.M. My appointment at Cooper Green is at 8:00 A.M. on Feb. 12th (Tuesday). A lady called Mary; something was mentioned about obtaining a card before the examination. Therefore, I will go to Birmingham Monday and spend the night in Homewood.
Will I enter the hospital that day? Will sugety be that day or Wednesday morning? I thought of travelling to Mobile for Mardi Gras on Shrove Tuesday, but it may be jout of the picture.

(10:05 P.M.) I only a short time ago completed the reading of "Zorba the Greek." Interesting book. Its contents will have to be chewed and sallowed before I can really state the inpact on me.

11-12 February, Homewood/Birmingham/Childersburg, Al.

(12th, About 6:57 P.M.) I rode the bus, that passes through Childersburg on Hwy. 280 around 1:20 P.M., to Birmingam yesterday. It was about 2:25 when I arrived at the bus station; about 3:00 P.M. when I got to Cooper Green Hospital. The third party I asked informed me that only from 7:00-2:00 P.M could the necessary forms for medical treatment be completed.
I was about to get some sales material xeroxed; publicity was sent to the latest inquiry, from San Francisce. I also picked up a U.A.B. catalogue (the Office of Admissions and Records, I discovered, had moved, after a walked to where it used to be. It is now in Campbell Hall).
The 6:45 A.M. bus #42 carried me from my 'home' in Homewood to the Medical Center area (6th Ave. & 20th St., S.). I walked to Cooper Green Hospital on 17th St. I sign my name on the list for Blue Clinic Cards.
When I was called upon, I was ushered back to an office and asked questions. My address is 3343-C Old Mont. Hwy, in Homewood. I was laid off Rich's. These are the 2 facts that had to be "falsified."
I was gien a blue plastic credit-card-lie card, and sent back to the Outoatient Clinic. &15 is the fee to be examined at the Clinic, to be paid in advance. All other fees are billed
I stayed in a waiting room about 6 or 7 minutes, then was directed to a small room. Soom I was called and taken to a room for a Blood Pressure test. Passed.
I changed into a grown.
A young doctor, I latter decided was an intern, examined my ass. He did a rectal (finger up butt hole). It's been a while since this had been done to me. May sound perverted, but I can see the joy of sodemy !
Soon the real doctor took a look at me. I received another rectal.
Well, I will e nter the hospital Thursday, and 'go under the knife' Triday morning. It was also stated that I will probably stay in the hospital 3 more days; there will be an additional 2-4 weeks of healing at home.
I was then pre-admitted and my chest X-rayed. After <a style="font-style:oblique;font-weight:bold;" id="intext_link_7575893" href="#603541" rev="0" rel="XXYHcF5uUmpcewZxAD8CdFZuXHYIOwwvUTMCLgxjVmoGPQQ4DTgHPVomVHhaKAJlVWUMbQJoAGpRCAArUCQEOl0vB2heJ1JnXHYGcgAgAjxWVlx7CF0MIlExAjkMb1ZgBngEJw03BzZabVQwWmkCalVgDGcCYAAvUTQAMVA7BApdIgcgXmBSfFx3BmoAJAIoVnpcPAhxDDJRPAI5DHNWOQYiBDANMQd3WjVUY1o5Aj9VMAw0AiYAMVF6AGxQZgRnXT8HY141Uj5cOwY2AGkCN1Y5XGcIMQw UWQCaAw6VjcGYQRpDW4HYloxVGdaOAI2VToMNAItAGBRMQA4UB8EEl0wB2NeMlI8XDsGPwBgAiBWeVw9CGUMMFFkAmwMLFZtBjIEbA0aBxxaVFQiWksCYFVvDFICSAAxUXEALVA/BCJdaAc6XmpSfFx2BjsAJwJxVn1ceghFDGJRNAIoDGVWdgZ7BBYNJAc1WndUJ1pnAmdVZwwqAmgAblE6AHxQegR0XXgHPF5sUntcIAY8AHICb1ZkXCAIZAx1USMCfgx3" class="intext_ad_1341635247" onclick="return(false);">drinking</a> a chocolate shakes at Burger King, across the Street, I went to wait on a city bus, at the corner of 20th St., and 6th Ave.,N. It was about 10 minutes until #39 appeared. This bus took me to 28th Avenue in Homewood. I got to my 'home' around 11:20 A.M.
It was noon before I was on Hwy 280 thumbing. It was colder than it looked. My hands nearly froze.
At One o'clock, I was still trying for a ride. But soon Bobby Meade, my ex-colleaque from Birmingham E.T.V., on his wat from lunch to his job with Metcalf Film Company, gave me a ride of about 2 miles (Bobby had passed by, in the other lane on his way to lunch, a little after I jarrived at my spot.).
I tried for 10 or 15 minutes at the new spot for a ride. That wind! Walking will get me warm, I thought. So I began hiling and thumbing.
Three more ride got me to Childersburg at 3:15 P.M.
It warmed up, it seems, after getting out of Jefferson County. A great day for hiking. A most fortunate experience. And to believe I was cyrsubg Gid at the beginning of the 'trip,' for no one picking me up!

14-19 February (Thursday-Tuesday), Childersburg/Homewood/B,ham, Al.

(14th, About 2:57 P.M.) Room 407, Cooper Green Hospital. I arrived at the hospital a bit after 11:00 A.M. I was given a urinealysis, blood was taken. I was then es-
(Just now, I was given an E.K.G. This is the first I ever had. Suctions are applied to the chest.)
-corted to my room.
The room is semi-private. My room mate is George Strickland, a young black. There is some fluid being 'fed' into his body.
It was around 6:45 A.m. whin I left my Childersburg base. I was on the highway 10-15 minutes before a fortyish man in white pick-up truck offered me a ride. He was going to Brookwood Hospital (the trip from Sylacauga to Brookwood is done every day TWICE by him.).
My chauffeur went "beyond the call of duty" and carried me to the Brookwood Convenience Center, down the hill from the hospital.

Approx. 8:17 A.M. I was on the corner of Windsor drive and Old Mont Hwy., where Steve was waiting on Bus #42.
In about 10 minutes it became apparent to Steve and me that no bus was coming. We saw one heading in the opposite direction, but Steve would be 9:30 in getting to work (8:30 was his time to report.).
Mary drove him to work.
Mary returned. got ready for her job (teaching a Jeff. State), and I departed again a little after 9:00 A.M.
Around 10:00 A.M. the call from Cooper Gren Hospotal came; report at 11:00 A.M. I explained that I would be travelling by bus, so it could be a little after 11:00.
I was in time for lunch. It was a good meal.
What really is unbearable s that my room mate keeps the T.V. on almost constantly since I been here.
There is a phone in the room. Incidently, my bed is my te window.
For a "welfare" hospital the room and service are great!

(15th) It is now about 1:45 P.M. Mama, Joyce, and David have just left.
It was approx 5:50 A.M. when I began preparation for the operations. I was already awake (for 20-30 minutes previously), and was instructed to bathe or shower. I chose the shower.
I, also, checked my billfold with $15 in it, into security.
It was 6:15 A.M. when I received the two injections, in my right hip of the relaxing 'don't care' drug. It soon took effect.
Last night I was given a sleeping pill, my first. Because of my drug background, I was able to use the 2 mentioned drug, both 'downers,' for a beautiful experience. The 'don't care' drug was especially nice.

(About 7:20 P.M.) It is raining outside now, a great day to be in the Hospital.
I guess it was about 7:00 A.M. when I was in the operating room. I saw the doctors, nurses, etc., but it was a strange feeling! The feeling brought back feelings of my college days.
I do not recall going to sleep - you are usually asked to count from 10 back. I just seem to drift 'out.'
The next thing I knew it was 9:00 A.M. and I was in the Recovery Room. Still feeling drowsy, I figured I would be back in my room by 10:30 A.M.
It was a little after 1:00 P.M.before I was rolled back to my 'suite.'
You see, I had to wait in the anetheseologist to sign me out. She had to check my lungs for any effect from the anethesia. And supposely, she was busy with other patients.
I don't know if I was forgotten or what, but asked, and gripe, and acted like an ass.
I knew Mama and Joyce were waiting. David would probably be talking loud, and running around in the waiting room. And I felt to be a vicum of incompetency, even though I was told late last night, by the anetheseologist that, due to shortage of personnel, I could be in the delivery room a long time.
I was so mad, my pulse rate went up. I came near to walking out.
Because of the anger, I felt no pain from the cutting, or after effects from the drugs.
Last night the anetheseologist guessed that I was a former 'pot' smoker. She said my lungs was 20 years ahead of my age. She had listened to my chest and back with a Stetoscope.
When she checked me out, she advised me to pospone my 'parties (assuming pot parties).
I was probably still feeling the effects of the drug long after I felt I didn't. That's how drugs used to affect me.
Mama visited with me, then she went down to watch David (asleep) to let Joyce come up. Mama then return to take some stuff home.
The meals are great!
Steve and Mary came about 6:00 P.M., and stayed a little over an hour.
I walked around the halls for a while around 4:30 P.M. I took small steps.
I napped after Mama and Joyce left. I can lay on my side, and sit up, favoring one or other 'cheek.'

(16th, somewhere around 5:45 P.M.) Cooper Green Hospital. A set-back this afternoon: One of the points where the cyst had been removed bled heavy, stasting around 12:30 P.M. Nurses tried to stop it, but to no anail. Finally, around 2:30 P.M., one of the doctors on my case "mended" it, and repacked it.
I was given a shot of Dematal for pain. What a trip! Only now am I really coming back from it.
This morning I was instructed to take a cyst bath. This portion of the treatment was begun too soon.
My room mate went home late this morning. I did not keep the T.V.
Steve and Mary came by last night.
I received many comments on the pajamas I wore Thursday and since. The P.J.'s has red hearts on them with "U R The (an apple drawn) of my (an eye drawn). People thought I wore them because Valentine's Day. And we all know that it is the only pajamas botom I have, having purchased them from a Thift Shop.

(17th, It is around 7:15 P.M.) Still in the hospital. I got a room mate late this morning: Eddie DUNCAN, a 67-year-old Black Man. He undergoes surgery tomorrow morning. It will involve a needle up his rectum, drawing fluid from his protate. It sound very painful. Of course, he will be asleep. He has other problems, too.
My new friend is a T.V. fan.
Eddie has been asking about my hospital stay. I have given him confidence, he says.
He was amazed and tickled that I was up and walking so soon after my operation.
Everything went well with me today. I took another siz bath. No problems.
Steve and Mary came by last night.
It was around 10:00 A.M. when I ebded my 20 hour or so bedfast. Boy, was it ever so nice to put my feet on a hard surface and walk!

(18th, 5:36 P.M.) A little past noon, right when I began lunch, Mr. Breaux and a resident came and asked if I would like to go home. Of course I responded positively. After I eat, I was told, the release papers would be readied.
I was told earlier by a nurse that it was on my chart of a "possible release today." And the Resident said maybe latter on that I could go home.
After eating, I called Joyce collect (she had called me earlier, but I knew of no inpending release).
Boy, was it great to wear clothes for a change!
A nurse took me downstairs to the business office where I got my wallet from security - it was checked in Friday morning before sugery - and I was given an estimation of the bill.
$1207.25! I had no idea it would be that much. And Cooper Green is, more-or-less, a welfare hospital!
Of course, the actual bill may be less. I may arrangements to pay $60 a month, beginning in March.
This Friday I have an appointment with Dr. Breaux at the Cooper Green Sugery Clinic, at noon. Joyce said she would take me. I will buy some gasoline.
I waited only about 2 minutes before Joyce drove up, by the entrance (when Mama and She came up last Friday, a security officier gave her a $15 ticket while in a Parking Deck). I was in Childersburg about 2:30 P.M.
A perscription for Tylonal #3, codene, was given me. This is a pain killer. I got it filled at Paul Wesson's in Childersburg, but I will try and do without them. I don't won't to go back into drugs! The once-only perscription cost me $5.44
Three times a day I am to soak my ass in hot water, as hot as I can stand it. Mama has a yellow, plastic, oval tub that I can use here. I can use the tub at Joyce's.
For padding, I am using a sanitary napkin. Dr. Breaux suggested such, but at first I found it tacky. So I bought a box of Sterile Pads and cloth tape at Wesson's.
Eddie Duncan, the last room mate I had, and his wife, thanked me over and over for the confidence and consolation I gave him. Of course, this inflated my ego. He was especially tickled to hear that I was walking that afternoon after my operation.

(19th, 10:30 P.M.) I feel a lot better tonight than I did yesterday. I stayed at 'home' to avoid the steps; Joyce and David came over from about 9:30-2:30. I laid down all day, either in my bed or on the couch.
The hot baths help a lot.
I only take the medication when I am going to be up a while.
Leslie placed the typewriter on the floor next to my bed, and, lying down, I typed a letter to Affiliate Artist, concerning my "illness," and that I was writing an article of the development of Pantomime in America. It will be mailed tomorroe.
A letter from the American Dance Festival was awaiting my attention when I arrived at Mama's home yesterday. I will not be teaching there.
Involvement in Mime, for the moment at least, doesn't interest me. Of course, it will be a while before I physically can.

20 February, Childersburg AL

(Early in the morning) I began the reading of "Star Trek, 'Log Two,'" by Alan Dean Foster. This book, one of a series, is adapted for the T.V. science friction series. it was given to Mama by Norma. There is another "Star Trek" book in the group she 'donated' to my library.

22 February (Friday), Childersburg/Birmingham, Al.

(Approx. 8:07 P.M.) My mobility is slowly returning to normal. Joyce, along with David and Leslie, drove me to another appointment at Cooper Green Surgery Clinic in Birmingham today. It was a noon check-up.
We left a little past 10:25 A.M., after taking me to the bank, visiting Mama at work, and getting gasoline. I gave Joyce $10.00 for fiel, since I didn't contribute any on Monday, when I was brought to Childersburg from the hospital.
It was 11:25 A.M., approx., when I arrived at the outpatiecnt Clinic. I had to wait until 11:30 before registering.
The usual $15 was required.
It was about 12:50 P.M. when I was examed by the resident on my case. I was out in less then 5 minutes, but had to wait in the waiting for the next appointment time - Tuesday at 8:00 A.M.
I called U.A.B., finally getting the office I needed (Accounts Payable). After explanation and argument, I finally was told what I wanted: Ihad made $253 at U.A.B. in 1979. But upon checking available check stubs here latter, I discovered I made more. The offical amount I was told over the phone will be listed on my tax form.
I sent a hand-written postcard to the Mid-American Mall in Memphis today, requesting a schedule of activities at this shopping center-Outdoor Park. A beautiful to Street Mime
A hand-written postcard was also mailed to the Great American Mime Experiment in Clarksdale, Georgia, about my planned article on American Mime. G.A.M.E. isthe Southwastern co-ordinator for National Mime Week; I asked for publicity on the event.

24 February (Sunday), Childersburg, Al.

(Morning) I finally completed the computation of my Federal and State Income tax. I will be refunded $181.89 from Federal; the State will get $1.66 from me. The State will have to wait; the Federal form will be mailed tomorrow.
As soon as am able, I will return to work, even if it be at Rich's.
[In the mail yesterday I had received the income statement (10-99) from U.A.B.]
I don't know what happened to Howard Johnson. I wrote him postcards an left messages on his home answeering machine, but he didn't answer them. Did he give up on me? Why? Or was the whole deal just a momentary past time for him?

(Afternoon) Is the loss of my cyst the beginnings of MY decade - the 80's?
I am sick of mailing out sales material. No more. I will just answer any requests I receive.
It should be within 2-3 weeks that I hear from Affiliate Artist, yea or nay. I hope I can swing a trip to New York, fiancialy. Or will mt travel be paid?
The temperature is 72 degrees F. Beautiful day. The past 3 or 4 have been such.
I am slowly returning to shape. Of course, I won't do much Mime without a monetary compensation,in the future.

25-27 February (Monday-Wednesday), Childersburg, Al.

(26th, Evening) I finished "Star Trek 'Log Two'" around 4:53 this afternoon. An O'Kay book, but not electrifying.
Winter is here again, after having a weekend of Spring.
Good bill of health from the doctor's appointment this moning. Lame, the intern on my case, tooks out the stitches, the few there were. My next visit will be next Tuesday morning at 8:00. I may try to go on my own then. Physically, I could do it. Why should Joyce waste her time and gasoline?
No bills from Cooper Green has been received at my Homewood 'house.' I talked to Steve, via phone, this morning.
I am giving thought to returning for another short visit to Pierson rom Naw Ruz until, at least, the first day of Ridvan (April 21). It would be great if I had a job lined up there in Sioux City (not necessarily Mime). And if Affiliate Artist, the San Francisco inquiries, the Alabama Shakespeare Festival, or anything else, as far as Mime or performing is concerned, fail to produce a position, than I may stay in Iowa.

(27th, Early morning) Last night and early this morning I typed a letter and prepared publicity to send to Theatre Comunication Group in New York. Having discovered this organization will looking through "Dance Magazine Annual '80," one of the services offer by it is a type of casting office. The Group is kind of a Placement Servics.
Will anything come of this connection?
Monday night-Tuesday I had a dream that was a sequel to the previous night. I can't at the moment recall the details, but if I do, I will relate them to you.
The dream 'felt' important, a forecaster of future events. Was it?

28-29 February (Thursday-Friday)), Childersburg,Al.

(28th, 7:40 P.M.) It's hard to believe that a week and a half ago I could hardly walk; just now I cleaned the water from the shower floor (I took a shower), while on my knees! There is few physical limitations on me now.
I stayed home today. It felt good. The weather was great. A lot of reading was done. Juggling, meditating, etc. I even walked to town for the first time in over 2 weeks.
Speaking of reading, I picked up "MASH Goes To Paris" by Richard Hooker and William E. Butterworth. This book, based on the T.V. series, relates the adventures of the personntl of 4077 M.A.S.H. in the 1970's. There is the same zany Cynicism inthe book, begun this morning, as in the television show. Part of the collection of books Norma gave Mama, the characters are the orginal one: Hawkeye, Trapper John, Gen. Henry Blake, Radar, 'Hot Lips,' Frank Burnes, and Father Maluclony.
I viewed the first of "Uptown ad Country" on R.B.S. at 6:00 tomight. Watching the show has been a concern of mind for the last few weeks ("Tic, Tac, Dough," a game show on Ch.6, is one of Mama's favorite shows). I have given thought of trying for a spot on the show, a Variety-talk magazine format. But the program is done by University Television, Mike Letcher is the P/D. I have tried enough in trying to establish an artistic connection with this APTN outlet/production center.
I am very impress with the quality of the show, though. In my opinion, it is the best show on the air, produced locally.

(29th, Early morning) What a dream I experienced last night! I can just recall bits and pieces of it: one point, I was around females (and a few males) naked from the waist down. The setting was like a ferris wheel. I went around and the nudes stay still.
One of the females, nice looking, great body, was in possission of a penis! What does this symbolize?
I seem to recall that I was in something like a prison hospital at one time.
Other wield stuff took place.. This is the third night this week that I have experienced What 's coming down?
I had on damp underwear this moning. Any connection with the dreams?

1 March, Childersburg, Al.

(About 8:20 P.M.) Well, March has arrived like a lion; it was a nasty, rainy, cold day all day. Snow is predicted tonight and tomorroe, The high tomorow is schedule to be 25 degrees F. Now, will March go out like a lamb?
I completed the journey to Paris with M.A.S.H. this afternoon. Enjoyable book.
The third month of "the year that belongs to me" and nothing is definite for me, career-wise.
P.B.S. id telecasting the 6 1/2 hour live Grand Ole Opry tonight. I rivwed it from 7-8:00 P.M. (it started at 6:00 P.M.). This broadcast is a 'telethon,' to raise money for the Alabama Public Television Network. I called in a pledge of $20.
As far as I remember, this is the first time the A.P.T.N. has had a fund-raiser. Why is one needed? I thought it was completely state-funded. Of course, the network still operated on a shoe-sting budget.
I got homesick for television while watching the program.
The Fast started at sundown tonight. I will try the sunrise-to-sunset abstinence from food and drink for the entire 19 days, as much as I can follow it.
I will do the fast for me, not for the religion, or for anyone else.

2 March, Childersburg, AL

(Early morning) That aforementioned 'white stuff' is on the ground, and it is still coming down.
If I take is resy,physically and emotionally, I can do the fast.

(Mid-morning) "M.A.S.H.Goes To Maine" by Richard Hooker, I started.

4 March (Tuesday), Birmingham/Childersburg, Al.

(6:29 P.M.) My 'ass' is looking good, so said the doctor this morning, a different one than usual.
I was in an examiming room by 8:00 A.M. It was 9:15 before I was serviced. I started to leave!
My next appointment is next Tuesday at 7:00 A.M. I am going up to my Homewood 'home' Monday late afternoon. The earliest I can get to Cooper Green Hospital is about 7:10 A.M., because te first city bus I can ride is 6:45 A.M.
I have completed my third day of Fast. On the days I travel next week, of course, the Fast will be broken.
Still no word, career-wise. I may seek employment next week if nothing turns up by Monday.

(About 7:45 P.M.) I just finish typing a letter to the Memphis Association for the Child, and along with some publicity, will mail it tomorrow or the next day. The letter is in reference to the April 21-25 activities at the Mid-America Mall. I am trying, for any price, to sell my artistic services.

5 March, Childersburg, Al.

(5th, A little past 6:30 P.M.) I completed "M.A.S.H. Gies to Maine" this morning. This tale was not as humorous as the "Paris" trip. "Maine" was written before; maybe because it was the second "M.A.S.H." book I reak. But I didn't enjoy it as well.
My 4th day of fastiing.
Naw Ruz (March 21) is the dead line. If I don't get a booking by then, I am getting out of Mime. Please let me learn to live without it.
I received a D.T.C. newsletter inthe mail today. At least I know that Baha'is in Morth Alabama are still alive.

(6th, Approx. 6:45 P.M.) Last night it occurred to me that Physical Therapy would be a good field to enter, if my performing career flops. After all, I do know something of exercises. I figured I could apply at UAB and attend school for 2-3 quarters.
But then, I do hate to give up my life style. A steady job can be confirming. So this morning I investigated the pamphet on Mime in Therapy I received at the Mime Festival. It was about the Mime Conservatory at Loyola University in New Oleans. Bob Fleshman is director, also of the Drama Therapy Department.
I typed a letter to this place. Who knows, I may complete my degree in Drama Therapy.
I also thought about Dance Therapy. For some reason, though, I feel I should keep my life open for any performing I can get. My therapy work could be on a consultant basic. Besides, most of my clowning has been for special groups. And isn't all the performing arts a theraputic devise?
This letter, along with the one to the Memphis Association for the Child (% Chamber of Comence, since the M.S.C. is not listed in the Memphis pone book, so says the reference dept. of the Birmingham Library, over the phone), were mailed this morning.

8-9 March (Saturday-Sunday), Childersburg, Al.

(9th, evening) my 8th day of fasting. This morning, though, it was 6:30 A.M. before I began breakfast. I just couldn't get up earlier. Since the Fast is basicly symbolic, why make myself sick? And yesterday I was bitchy at Leslie most of the day.
Sex has suddenly became domineering again. Another reason I am emotionally uptight.
Lately, I have been the victum of strange dreams. A lot I can't remember. But I do recall one which involves me in an exercise class. All those females in tights! And 3 or 4 nmen, naked. Interpertation, please? With the weather gettintg warm, and the coming of Spring, it is even worse.

10-11 March (Monday-Tuesday), Homewood/Birmingham/Childersburg, AL

(10th, morning) The dream of late involved President Carter. I can recall vivedly joking with Press Secretary Jody Powell. There also seems to be some kind of activity with some group (vision, Mafia, etc). Hummm . . .!
The reason that I gripe at Leslie so much about her eating habits, no disipline or reponsibility, etc. is probably because she is a lot like me, and I would like to see her develop 'maturity' in a shorter time that it took me.

(11th, About 6:47 P.M.) My 'end' was examined this morning; the next time will be in 2 weeks - March 25 - at 8:00 A.M.

(10th) It was about 5:05 P.M. when I left 'home.' Because of Travel, I broke the fast. I has planned on riding the bus to Boumingham, but as soon as I was deposited my Joyce's car, my thumb was responded to. This ride 'dropped' me by the Broodwood Village exit on Hwy 280; it was a 15-20 minute walk to my Homewood residence.
Two rides got me back to Childersburg. The first one was with a homosexual; the moment I boarded the car, his smile told me he was queer. And when he began to play with himself, I was convinced.
Besides, he stopped for me when I had my back to the roas (is this a Homo sign?).
I am, becoming so horny , that today I walked around Brookwood Mall with my "fly" opened. I was hoping for FEMALE sexual stimulation; it serves me right to be with a 'fag.'
I arrived home about 12:55 P.M. today.
I am about to accept the fact that I have no career in Mime. What, then, will I do as a career?

12 March, Childersburg, Al.

(A little past 10:00 A.M.) It has been raining all morning. There is also thunder. April Showers are here early.
A Diane Stewart fom Birmingham just called me. She is with Coca Cola. There will be a new plant opening in Birmingham soon. I was asked is I knew of any Mimes who were available to work Street Mime at the Grand Opening on April 26 (and, as I were told later, maybe the 27th). She didn't realized that I performed; she had seen the Summer Workshop Recital last July. I only taught, she thought. Mrs. Stewart was happy to discovered I perform.
The 'gig' will be 6 hours - with breaks. When asked for a price, I stated at least $100. I really would like the job; am I selling myself to cheap? Especially since I also juggle.
The location is the Airport Highway.
Diane Stewart will call me back tomorrow morning at 10:00.
I guess I may be trapped in Mime until April 28th.

14 March (Friday), Childersburg, Al.

(Around 7:48 P.M.) I felt that $100 for 6 hours of Street Mime at the Grand Opening of the Coca Cola Plat on the Airport Highway in Birmingham on April 26, was cheap; Coca Cola must have thought otherwise. Diane Stewart never got back to me.
What shold I interpret from this rejection? Is it Biemingham, or will I be able to find Mime jobs anyplace in this country?
Joyce, Leslie, Wendy, Wendy's sister and Mama, all went to Birmingham today in search of swimming suits that weren't obscene. I kept David. Becuse I figured to engage in physical play, and to avoid emotinal outbursts, I didn't fast today.
I can't let my career problims interfere with my personal and family life.

15-17 March (Saturday-Monday, Childersburg, AL

(17th, St.Patrick's Day, Appox.4:45 P.M.) A rainy, dreary day. I did fast today.
I received a call this morning from Diane Stewart. Coca Cola is interested in hiring me for the Grand Opening on April 26. In addition, I am desired for a V.I.P.gethering at the new plant on Sunday Afternoon, April 20. Upon request, I stated the price of $150, plus transportation, for both days. They are getting a bargin!
I was asked if I could possibly come to Birmingham for an audition this Thursday night. If mandantory, I said. Ms. Stewart said she would get back in touch about the necessity or not of the audition, considering the travel involved. I will be imforn either at 4:00 P.M. (Ms. Stewart called around 9:30 this morning) or 9:30 tomorrow. She didn't call today.
What is going on with this maybe-job?
I DID get a call around 4:00 P.M. from Talladega. The name of the female caller wscapes me, but my servicies were wanted for the "Follies" to be held in Talladega on Apeil 25 and 26. A director from New York will direct this showcase. There would be no pay.
I told of my prior committment on April 26, by that I could appear the 25th. There will be a "Meet the Director" party after. Easter, and if I am interested, maybe something can be worked out.
Even though that offer would bring forth no money, being asked gives me encouragement to continue in the busines.
I typed the article yesterday, entitling it "The Americanization of Pantomime." After typing a cover letter, I will xerox the manuscript at City Hall tomorrow and send it to the "Birmingham News." Who knows, a new facet of my career may be uncovered.
I typed a letter to the American Dance Therapy Association Saturday night, asking about information concerning membership in A.D.T.A., and about certication as a Dance Therapist (D.T.R.). I may add this field to my offerings.
This letter was mailed Sunday.
Things seem to be working out. Thank, God! And I am comtrolling my emotional state better.

19-20 March (Wednesday-Thursday), Childersburg, Al.

(20th, Naw Ruz, 137 B.E., about 6:35 P.M.) It is a rainy, nasty night.
A call from Diane Stewart this morning produced a tentative 'ardition' for next Tuesday afternoon. I will be called back about a definite time.
Ms. Stewart asked me if I would be in Birmingham within a week. My doctor's appointment is Tuesday morning. I was hoping that the 'examinattion" could wait until that day, so that I would not have to make an extra trip to Birmingham. With this rain, I am more gratified.
A form invitation came in the mail yeaterday, from a John Stewart of Fayetteville, Arkansas. My name wasn't mentioned, but my scheduling and fee were requested for possible artistic activities at the University of Arkansas Theatre. I assume that my ad in "Dance Magazine Annual '80" was viewed. An answer to this request will be sent this weekend.
Maybe my career is beginning to get back in its feet.
I feel my attempt at fasting was successful Only 2 or 3 days did I break it, and then because only because of what I had planned for the day, physically.
Whenever it dries up, the grass needs cutting.

22-27 March, Childersburg/Homewood/Birmingham, Al.

(23rd, Approx 6:07 P.M.) I mowed the lawn this afternoon for the first tome in 1980. It seems like every year it gets earlier.
I had a dream last night that I recall seemed important. Women were in it.

(26th, About 6:15 A.M.) I was dismissed from medical 'watch' yesterday morning. It is just a scare back there.
A female doctor examined my ass and touched it. I know she probably did 'get off,' but I was turned on.
My bills were waitig on me at my Homewood Apartment. The Hospital bill is about $36 more that the first figure I was given, but the doctor bill is only $25.85. The first payment of $60 on the hospital charge is about a week past due; last night I typed a note explaining the lateness to an extent. Today I will send the letter and a $60 cashier check to Cooper Green I am also changing the address from Homewood to Childersburg.
The Doctor can wait.
Around 10:00 A.M. yesterday I met with Diane Stewart and Julie Stress at Coca Cola Advertising. I talked with them, put on my costume, juggled, and did the 'Chair Fight' routine. I also showed them pictures, which they had copies made of some.
I do have the job on April 20 and 26. I will only receive $150 for borh days; this is $15 an hour. Should I be getting more?
I wanted so much for Diane, Julie, or one of the other women employees to see me jin a state of undress. No luck.
I rode the Trailways bus to Birmingham Monday evening. The driver charged me $3.10. Either a special is in progress, or I was charge 90 cents less. Will the driver pocket all the money himself?
Two rides got me back to Childersburg by 2:10 P.M. yesterday.

(5:20 P.M.) I arrived at the apartment Monday evening just as Steve and Mary were leaving for a friend's house. Two minutes latter and I would have been struck ouside for 3 hours.

(27th, 7:35 A.M.) Sue Hensley, Jo Ellen Foster's sister in Vero Beach, Florida, I figued would call me last night. I received a telephone call Sunday night from a man. I asked who it was. It was Robert! And, then, it didn't register who Robert was. Boy, was I embarressed when it came to me who it was!
I was asked about my physical condition. I reported fine. The purpose of the call was to find out if I could go to Sue's (and his husband, children)place in Vero Beach to 'babysit' Jo's mother, Mary, who I have met 2 yeardsago. Mary is recovering from an acccident or an illness. Sue and Jerry, due to their work schedule, could not nurse the mother.
For my services, I would receive a free vacation and a small allowance.
The theb-possibel (now definite) engagements of April 20 and 26 in Birmingham were mentioned. Three weeks will be suitable, I was told.
I talk with Jo. I was decided that Sue would call me. I said that I would be away from the 'office' until Wednesday (in the event my business in Birmingham required an extra day to complete) night.
"The Day Christ Died" were on CBS - Channel 42 - last night from 7-10 P.M. This movie is about the political dealings that led to the death of Jesus. According to this program, Jesus was trying to follow Old Testament prophesies concerning the Messiah; his cucifiction he saw as a requirement.
Anyway, I really wanted to see the movie, so I figure Sue would call during it. She didn't.
Jo never said Sue would call Wednesday night. My services may not even be required. But I hate waiting on the telephone.
I sent $60 to Cooper Green Hospital yesterday.
While precticing last night, I "found" what I feel is the correct body placement and mental disposition for 'Rope-pulling mime steps. This discovery excited me.
Will I have any engagements beyoud April 26?

28 March-2 April (Friday-Wednesday) Sylacauga/Childersburg, AL

(28th, morning) A rainy Friday morning in Childersburg. What the engagements at Coca Cola did ws to give me false hope andencouragement about a continued career in Mime. I was doing so well with getting myself resighed to being out of the business. Now I have regressed back to being emotionally uptight and dependent upon Pantomime for my piece of mind. I must not return to that point.

(29th, A little before 7:00 P.M.) Lislie and I went to the library. The book I 'borrowed' (on Lislie's card) was Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.'s "Breakfast of Champion." I read some of it at 11 00 A.M.
Since I have heard nothing furher from Jo or her sister, I assume that I will not go to Florida.
The first engagement of the '80's will be 3 weeks from tomorrow with Coca Cola. What else I will do, who knows?

(2nd, A little past 6:25 A.M.) Jo called Saturday night to say I wasn't needed in Vero Beach as a babysitter for her mother.
David was admittd to the Sylacauga Hospital Monday. Friday, he was sent to Mr. Pasha, a Urologist in Sylacauga the Afternoon; he has had problem with urinating. It was disvovered that the tube in his pee-er is becoming to small. It will have to be "stretch."
(Just the thought make me cringe.)
Joyce is staying with him - room 254. At present there is no room mate, although there was yesterday.
David had his"repair job" yesterday morning. They, first of all, check his kidney by means of dye in his vein (?). Latter that made an 'X' in the end od his penis, cut the tube, and placed a catheter in it temporarily.
Claude came for Mama, Leslie, and I last night. We visited David. He is in pain when he pees.
I will travel to Sylacauga on the Approx 8:45 A.M. Trailways Bus through Childersburg. I will visit David. He may be released. If not, I will relieve Joyce, so she can go home and refresh herself. I will be home when Leslie comes from school, around 3:05 P.M. (Leslie has been staying here).
I will try to go by te Alabama State Employment Office in Sylacauga. The information I received by phone yesterday is that I could fill out an application for Census Taker, and someone from the District Office in Anniston will come down and administer the test. This may 2-3 weeks work.

3-4 April, Childersburg, Al.

(3rd, A little past 6:00 P.M.) Another rainy days. There were tornado and thunderstorm warnings throughout Central Alabama.
"Breakfast of Champions" were finished around 8:13 this morning. I love Vonnegut's cynicism. There was a lot of satire, I'm sure, that I didn't understand. Enjoyable reading, though.
My new career may begin next week, I take a test for employment with the Census bureau Monday morning in Sylacauga. The job will be temporary, but, who knows, I may enter government work. Or even politics! The way it seems at the moment, the 2 dates at the Cola Cola Gramd Opening in Birmingham, April 20 & 26, will be the last of the clowning engagements ever for me.
Me, President of the United States?

(4th, About 7:00 P.M.) I did it again! What makes me continue with the game? Is there a deep psychological reason that forces such actions?
Last night I saw publicity on Channel 6 concerning the Birmingham International Film Festival at U.A.B., April 10-12. On April 12, there will be a 'Family Show,' featuring Clown Acts. Well, I typed a sales letter, and sent it this morning to U.A.B., along with a xeroxed copy of a newspaper article of a show at Te Children's Hospital (City Hall has a coping machine - 15 cents to reproduce.). If I am offered money, I will clown at the "Family Show."

5 April (Saturday), Childersburg, Al.

(About 7:05 P.M.) At the moment I am tired enough to fall out. I started cutting bush from around the house and fence this morning. I hadn't plan on cutting long, but the guy behind ask if I wanted him to use his chainsaw to get some down. I said yes.
I was using an axe. I didn't think it right to cease my activity with him hard at it, but I soon got so worn out I had to quit.
Would he had quit sooner if I had?
I also cut 3/4 of the lawn. There were too many limbs to put them all over the fence (this was Leslie's job), so they were made into piles. I mowed around them.
My Federal tax refund came today by mail: A check for $181.89.
The fare to travel by the Birmingham-Jefferson County Transit Authority is now 60 cents! Too high for a town like Birmingham.

7 April, Sylacauga/Childersburg, Al.

(Close to 6:25 P.M.) The test fo Census Work was rough. I took the wntire hour for it, skipping over some and returning to them latter. Even then I left 3-4 unanswered. I feel I did good on it.
3 women and 2 men did the test this morning.
I will know by mail at least by Wednesday if I passed.
It is possible that I could start Monday, if I pass. A training session is in Atlanta, which is all-expense paid, with a salary for attendance.
The job will be for at least 3 weeks.
After the test, the man who came down to administer it, having notice that I listed "Carson and Barnes Circu . . . Clown, etc" under work experience on the application, talk with me about the talent and knowledge of Pantomime. I really didn't need that said to me, when I am trying to prepare myself mentally for an end to my involvement in the unique, artform.
Joyce had business in Sylacauga this mirning, so I went with her. She and David insisted on waiting for me before returning home. My business at the bank in Childersburg (cashing Income tax




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