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hummmbug
2011-12-15 04:40:32 (UTC)

December 14, 2011

It's nice to know that I found someone who semi used me again. Ha. Whatever. This is why I don't trust people. Or why I won't because I need to stop caring about everything and everybody above myself.

Mom might get two kittens too! They're cute and would make great company for her.

I've enjoyed getting to read these last couple of days for the start of my break. I missed it.

By the way.. guess who got into the top ensemble as a freshman, and for winter quarter no less??? Me. :] Yayyy! That's the feeling I need to always remember even when I'm down. At least I have my music even if I can't really count on anyone else.

..

I'm doing my best to be the person I want to be, but I feel like I'm failing half the time. I'm learning that I can't please everyone around me or make everyone else happy and that I need to focus on myself. But you see that doesn't work. At all. I care about people. That's who I am, and if I can't help them, that's my failure. People don't understand that who are close to me either. They don't understand how I care about other people. I know I give the 'I don't give a fuck' or 'careless' impression when people read what I write, but I'm not like that. And I wish people understood that. Big time.




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