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Crashed and burned
Well, I stuck my neck out and tried the dating thing again. I asked two people out that I was interested in and wanted to get to know better. I've known them for at least a year as friends and thought it was time to start dating again. I got shot down. Damn it!!!
Now I'm doing a self assessment and wondering if something is wrong with me. Did the ex leave permanent mental scars that I can't see or fix? So now what? I feel so worthless. Almost feel that the ex leaving was justified and that she was right to fool around or leave me.
I thought I was in the right frame of mind. I thought I'd put all that crap from the past away. Now I'm doubting myself. Now I feel like it was right for the ex to split or fool around on me.
Anyway, I guess I have to suck it up again but I'm so damn tired. How much fight do I have to fight? I think I did my share of fighting life's challenges. Shit!!!!!!
So now I just sit in this empty house and ponder!!! Great!!! I'm so so tired of fighting this fight for some joy and peace in life.