Just My Luck...
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2011-12-05 23:20:25 (UTC)

Lots has happened... And sex is the main topic

Ok, alot has happened since I last updated, so I'm going to make a list of what happened and then specify how I feel about all of these events.
1. It's been 1 month exactly since I last cut myself.
2. I went out with M.
3. I broke up with M.
4. I hate my parents.
5. I snuck out.
6. I'm going back out with R.
7. He wants me to have sex with him.

So you all know about the one month thing

Yes, I went out with M. Deal with it.

Yes, I also broke up with M. For some reason its almost like I hate him now I can't even stand to be around him. I broke up with him and came up with the excuse that he was moving to fast and that "I didn't want a boyfriend."

I hate my parents. They are way too over protective. I mean, I'm 13 now. They don't have to protect me from every little thing that happens in life. It's part of growing up.

Yes. I have snuck out, but I didn't do anything bad, I was having a sleepover with my friends and we decided to go longboarding around my over-protective-old-person neighberhood. It was too easy anyways.

I love R. Plain and simple. He loves me and we've been in love for about a year now.

Yes. Here's the main topic of the day. R want's me to have sex with him. Truth is, even though I'm a virgin, pure Christian girl, I definatly want to have sex with him as much as he wants to have sex with me. He wants it kinda as a birthday present, and I hate to see him beg me :) Plus, today we were sitting in class passing notes and he was begging me to ditch with him for the rest of the school day and to do it with him, but I wouldn't. I want to at least organize my thoughts and get advise before doing that. His birthday is on Jan. 13th, and I would like to give him his present, but here are the downsides.

1. If my parents found out I would be DEAD. SCREWED. DEAD DEAD DEAD.
2. If the rubber breaks, there is a chance I could get pregnant,
3. as well as get and STD from him.
4. It would take away my virginity.
5. It would be on my concience forever.

But I want to do this with him SO BAD. Advise? Please? And if you think I should, where?