on the edge of insanity
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2011-11-01 10:31:20 (UTC)

So many reminders

if you are offended by swearing cursing whatever please do not read any further.

I am so fucking pissed at the fucking prick of a soon to be ex-husband poor imitation of a man of mine. I hate him. I also hate that he still takes up space in my heart and brain. I long for the time when he doiesn't cross my mind even in a fleeting moment. I hate thinking about what he has done to me and our kids. Yes the kids are all adults but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt them. Today something happened to make my youngest daughter realize what a fucking loser her father really is. I never had to say a word. She learned on her own. She has never asked her bastard father for anything not once in her adult life. Last night she turned to him for a very small loan. She knows I don't have money and I live on a fixed (limited) income so she asked him. She was trying to love him still even after how coldly and cruely he treated me. So she asked to borrow a lousy 200 bucks and the fucking poor excuse for a man and father said no. Mind you he just withdrew our entire 401k money from our retirement account in all close to $180,000.00. He took all of OUR retirement money. There is nothing left for me. And he spent most of it on a new house and car and trailer all of which he apparently paid cash. He has done all of this with and for the fucking husband stealing no respect for marriage fucking bitch he is with now. Nothing for his family. We are now nothing to him. And after all this he couldn't LOAN his own flesh and blood daughter a lousy 200 bucks. And the money isn't really the deciding factor for young Jacquie. Its just facing the truth that not only am I a thing of the past but so is she. She hurts beyond belief. I hate him. The only thing that gets me by is knowing he will get what he deserves one day, karma right?

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