Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
2011-10-25 10:14:13 (UTC)

Early Morning

Hi...

I couldn't really sleep last night. I kept waking up every 2 hours. I have a few things on my mind, all of which relate to men. My ex is being a douche because I didn't sleep with him and I'm on a dating site and I can't seem to attract the attractive ones. I question my looks and the way I present myself, and I really don't think I'm doing anything wrong. I think I'm average looking. I am funny, educated, full-time job. I don't know what it is these men are looking for?

I try to look at the bright side of things by reminding myself that everything happens for a reason, and the reason for this is... they just aren't for me. Do I want to date a 25 year old server? 27 year old accountant by day, bartender at night? 27 year old lawyer with long hair who bites his fingers nails?

lol.

I've started taking anti-depressant because my anxiety is kicking in again. My doctor and mother think I'm depressed, but I don't know what I could be depressed about? I'm still heart broken from my other relationship. Could it be that? I'm not sure. He wasn't for me and he didn't fully treat me like a man who truly loved his girlfriend. I think it's because I thought at my age I would be in a serious relationship, engaged by the time I graduated university, planning my wedding once I get a full-time job, and possibly moving out of my parents house the same year.

Well, I'm single.

I graduated university, I have a full-time job. My friends are getting married and most are pregnant.

I guess want someone next to me who really wants to be next to me, lol. I'm doing well in all aspects of my life expect love. I just want to know if love is in the cards for me, and if not, I'll stop with this bullshit dating.

I need to get ready for work now...