Nicholas Alexander Summers

Nicks Journal
2011-10-25 05:26:23 (UTC)

So here's the latest

Well it has been definitely a hell of a year. I succumbed to the addiction of cocaine, partly to deal with the loss of what I believe was the love of my life to prison, and the loss of all the security I had in this world, including my house. Because of the physical problems that I have been enduring for the past year, I started taking medications that at first seemed to help, but as the medication started to build up into my system, I noticed that not only was I depressed, I actually would daydream about the different ways of killing myself, I really had a hard time dealing with even having those thoughts. Personally I was afraid that if I didn't turn myself in to law enforcement(other legal situation that I am still currently in) That I would have ended my life in a matter of a week or two from being incarcerated. I spent 4 1/2 months in Baldwin County Corrections facility, which turned out to be a blessing more than I probably realize, because I was able to detox off of this medicine i was given. I thought that while I was in jail that I was going to be going to serve time in prison, which would have been okay with me because all of my legal problems would have been past me. However about the time that I was supposed to be transported to prison, I was released back onto probation. I left jail that day extremely happy, and thankful that I had been given another chance to get my act together. I arrive at my grandmothers house and thinking that family will help you out when you are down, was thrown off completely by being told that they loved me but I couldn't stay with them. At that point I didn't know what to do, so I called the one person I thought would be able to help me, and although reluctant I believe at first to let me stay with him, Scott Underwood turned out to be a true friend in a time of need. I don't think he really knew what to expect since we had only been friends and had never actually lived or i have never stayed at his house. Needless to say almost two months later, I am doing well and still staying with Scott. I have released all of my past friends that I deem a bad influence on my life because either they were not good energy to be around, or they pursue a lifestyle of partying and debauchery. I am glad for everyday that I am given and try to live it to the best of my abilities. I have taken a keen interest in photography, and hope that I can find some other like minded people that can help me nurture and grow my skills with the camera. I still have plans to go to college, but with my legal stuff going on at the moment, it is definitely out of the question. There is always next fall. I just need to buckle down, and get my act together and deal with all of my legal stuff that I can, so I can come out of this a better person, with no person or entity recognized by the state to answer to. With everything that I have just gotten off of my chest. I certainly feel much better, and definitely need to do this more often. Thanks for listening to me drone on about my life, but I needed to share it with someone.

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