Nihilist Cowboy

A Sick Man, A Spiteful Man, An Unattractive Man
2011-10-12 20:24:13 (UTC)

I wish you could understand.

First of all I understand that you do not understand what I went through for the three semesters I was with TKE. I really wish you could understand. I understand that you are sweetheart and some of them are your friends I really do. Maybe reading this will help you understand. I shouldnt be saying some of this stuff but you know what. They havnt respected TKE so I have no remorse for saying some of this. There is nothing that I am going to tell you that is breaking ritual. However some people would be pretty upset seeing what I am writing. I really dont care who I offend at this point. I love TKE but dont like EY right now.

I wanted to join a fraternity. Being the nerdy pushed around guy all my childhood made me want to change. I didnt necesarly want to be the party animal. I just wanted to be a man who people respected. I did formal rush and I got two bids from two fraternitys: TKE and KA. I really wasnt sure who to choose. KA was full of country people just like me and TKE was full of blue collar people just like me. I flipped a coin and picked TKE. I went up to the house for the second time and talked to all the guys. I went home to Texas that weekend and had a call from someone calling me their "pledge brother". I had no idea what a pledge brother was. I met the guy at the meeting that Sunday. It wasnt exactly the situation I had in mind. This guy looked like he just came out of a bar or something. He was skinny and had tatoos all over. That was Daniel. He started talking to me about "having his back" when we were at bars and talking about crazy stuff like that that someone with a moderate upbringing had no idea about. I was scared and almost quit. Two days later he "quit" or so he said. I was really relieved. Just days later Chad and Seth signed up and we were pledged in. Chad and I started hanging out all the time while Seth always stayed to himself. We slowly started learning about what it means to be a TKE. I had most of my learning by talking to Klayton while we were cleaning the bar. Homecoming was the halfway point to my semester. Homecoming was the start of the hard part. Two weeks later we had the scavenger hunt and then the next week.....

It was that week. The week we heard stories from and we thought that they were joking. They were not joking at all. That Sunday they made out a rule sheet for the week. No nicotine, alchohol, junk food, sex, porn. etc.. They asked us questions from our materials. If I got it wrong or if Chad got it wrong they would yell at us. We got screamed at if we got it wrong. There were ten people in the Fall of '08 pledge class. I was asked to name them all even though less than half were active. "David, Dylan, Jerret, Mikey, Jarred, Mike, Reagan, Cory, Alex and some dude named Flounder". SOME DUDE NAMED FLOUNDER. FUCK YOU ZACH FOR NOT KNOWING MY PLEDGE BROTHERS NAME. CHAD, START DOING PUSHUPS BECAUSE YOUR PLEDGE BROTHER FUCKED UP!!!! I almost broke down right there. I was hoping that was the worst of it. I was wrong. The next day they made us spend the night at the Cypress House. We got hazed so bad that night. We did so many pushups and situps and holding our legs up that I almost passed out. Chad had to help me with my situps. I was even told that they could see why my dad left becuase I am such a fucking disapointment. Chad had to hold me back from walking off. I had to sleep in the closet that night. 2 hours later at 7am I woke up, woke up Chad who had to sleep under the bed. Went outside and saw glass all around my car. My car was broken into. I thought at the time it was one of them but found out later it wasnt.

That Saturday after the game, I was thrown into a car and was took out into the woods. It was raining and they made us hold huge staffs up without them touching the ground. made us carry heavy bags and other various things. All night long. They stole our food and stabbed our water jugs. made me wear an adult baby costume and painted stuff all over our faces. Finally around sunrise it was over. We went throgh some secret stuff and then drank alot. Two weeks later we iniated. Found out all that stuff was staged and found out it was to test my chracter and for Chad and me to develop brotherhood. Was that the right way? no, did it work? yes it did. During the whole semester, nobody ever talked to me about drugs. I never knew ANYONE smoked until after iniation. I never knew about TKE's reputation of the drug fraternity til afterwards.

This was a summary of my pledge semester. I hope you are starting to understand why I get so upset. Read part two for my summary of the next semesters.




Ad: