Confessions of a married woman
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2011-10-04 15:21:05 (UTC)

Disappoinment #558854111

So yesterday, I got home and as usual picked up the mail. I usually never open any mail unless it is something I'm expecting or something that looks REALLY important. Anyway, I happened to open some mail that belonged to my husband and it was his life insurance changes as beneficiaries he had the following
his baby's mommas name for 60%
His mom's name for 30%
and me (his spouse) 10%
You know I swear it is not about the money, its just about the stupid percentage... thirteen years of my life and I'm worth 10% really? that just broke my heart, again and again and again... ggesh... is this stupid of me? The only thing I'm good for for him is for me to do his laundry and fuck him. That's all he wants me for it seems. I'm not even worth his time of day. I'm so fucking stupid for still being there. He claimed that he wasn't able to put a minor as the beneficiary, but I call that bullshit, how is that possible?!?!It would of been cool 50% to that slut, 25% and 25%, but do you see where I stand? Am I over reacting? I fucking hate my life. Everything is going wrong. I keep asking Him what have I done to deserve this. HOw much more do I have to put up with. I got weight loss surgery and I haven't lost a pound I've gained, I'm going to school and I fucking suck at the subject I'm taking, I'm just failure! I can't even find someone who truly cares for me. I must look really bad. my self-esteem is at 1% right now. I hate feeling like this. I just wanna die. I hope a truck runs me over and put me out of my misery. I don't think I can take much more. God bless and I hope he opens some doors for me. I don't think I've done anything that bad in my life to deserve all that has and is happening to me.

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