lilv13t402

Memories
2011-09-29 16:21:26 (UTC)

September 29, 2011 - Retaliate

September 11, 2011-
[148th -- 165th but 36th]

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September 16, 2011-
[149th -- 166th but 36th]

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September 20, 2011-
[150th -- 167th but 37th]

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September 21, 2011-
He told her how I felt about her actions. I feel better. He said he chose us and wanted us to be happy so that was why he told her.

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September 29, 2011-

I don't mean to but I do it on purpose. Yeah, he games. Yeah, he doesn't give me his attention as much as he did before. Phone calls are just him playing games (or what he calls "being busy") or talking to someone else. What is wrong with this scene? Or more like.. What is wrong with us? He says that when he wants to talk to me, I would have been doing something.. Well, I'm doing it on purpose cause I hate the fact that he does it to me (though not intentional). At some point, I became tired of it. What he does. And at some point, I purposefully became mean by just ignoring his calling of my name. I'm so tired of it. Waiting but end up not getting the respectful amount of attention. He was once great at it. And now, it feels like we're nothing. In person he shows his affections, but why not when we're not there together in person, things are different? It's almost as like he'd prefer to do something else rather than talk to me. We don't even talk about stuff.. barely. So what's wrong with us?

I can't even think of the words making love anymore. I just feel that if we continue this way.. making love would only be.. just sex.

-jH

p.s. I tell him I won't text/call him. But the wait just makes me anxious. I have so much to tell him when something has happened.. I would end up breaking the statement I had told him about me not texting/calling first. And you know what? Lately that my inbox isn't filled with his text, rather it's filled with someone else who's thinking about me in the moments I need him to talk to. I feel so sad about this. Maybe even confused.




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