CaptainAkwardtotheruinnotrescue

Tales of a Highschool Nothing
2011-09-26 01:00:49 (UTC)

Help. Thats all i need and want.

I'm scared of myself. Im afraid of the person i am, and will be and my heart pounds louder then the bass drum.
My eyes hurt
my cheeks burn
and my perfectly untouched wrist are tempting and pure
But thats not all. And im too afraid to say what all is. i just need an angel.
I need someone, someone signifacant to tell me im perfect. that everything happens for a reason. That I happened for a reason and that im not a glitch. Does god make mistakes?
Its possible darlings, if you know what i know that god once trusted satin. the devil, once known as St. Lucifer.
So if i trust myself and what my heart and my brain says, well then could i be making a mistake just as well as god made a mistake and will i have to suffer the consequences? And won't everyone else? Some times i wish i wasn't raised as a christian. I wish, split descsions were simple and not based on what the bible classifys as right and wrong.
I mean, why does a book have such power over me anyways? and why does questioning the bible seem worse on my toung than cursing at my grandmother?
Why are heaven and hell so terriflyingly real?
Why can't i just be a normal person, like abby, or sydney or andres or anyone.
Who picked me?
God?
Would you do such a thing?
Do all things still happen for a reason?
or do they just happen because thats the way life us and ou cant do anything abut it or try to solve it.
lifes not so much like prime numbers anymore.




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