Just My Luck...
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2011-09-24 03:02:14 (UTC)

Alot of Crap in My Life...

Well, alot has gone on since I last wrote you. You guys remember R, right? Well, he hangs out with F (his cousin) and F hangs out with S and T, my ex best friends, The Hags from Hell. Well, they hate me now for some reason I have no idea why, and F will do anything they tell him to, so they go and tell him to go over to the other lunch table and tell me that, in his words (he screamed them too, everyone looked at me), he said, "R will never love you!" Then he walks away. Right in the middle of everything. I run out of the cafeteria crying, and it was so embarrassing! What I thought was R high-five-ing F for saying that to me, it was really him trying to HIT F. And there was all this crap, but it made me realize something. I'm falling for R. Hard. Like an angel falls from heaven.... Hmmm.... I should write a song like that.... anyways, I'm totally falling in love with him. Plus, it made me realize how many friends I actually have. I mean, I love my friends. They take such good care of me and are so nice to me when I'm upset. Not like the kinds of friends The Hags from Hell were. And when R finally got me alone (alone-ish; you can never really be ALONE when middle school is involved), he said sorry about a billion times, and told me he would to whatever I wanted him to do to the people who planned this (aka, Hags from Hell and F) and just kept saying how sorry he was that all of this happened. It made me feel great. He really is a great guy. He kept asking me if I wanted him to put a Vendetta hit on The Hags from Hell or maybe just a contract hit (Vendetta hit=Mafia hit; Contract hit=Gang hit) and I just kept telling him that I was fine, and in the end we were talking out front of the buses, and I said, "I. Am. Fiiiiiiiine." And he said (this is so cute!),"Well, I'm just trying to look out for you. I don't like seeing you hurt," and when he said that he kinda gave me a half hug that I TOTALLY was not expecting and It made me so happy! It totally ruled out all the bad stuff that happened today and just made my day, and I'm so happy. He really is starting to be a really sensitive, truthful guy. Plus, he told me how he started doing drugs again. Well, at least he's not doing them behind my back. Maybe I'll set up a deal with him. If he stops doing drugs, I'll stop cutting. Speaking of, I took my old disposable razor (the one that butchered my leg, so I got a safer one) and I ripped the plastic off of it, just leaving a couple paper-shards of shapened metal. I'm too wimpy to use it quite yet. I mean, I sterilized it and everything, but still... I've never used a blade before. That's the unique thing about me. I don't cut super deep, I just cut deep enough to draw a TINY bit of blood, but I use a blunt safety pin, so it hurts real bad... I gtg now, I'm at my grandma's house and we're playing the guitar (in her case, ukulele) and I needa go. See ya'll later.


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