Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
2011-09-21 23:38:14 (UTC)

I pulled the plug... alas!

Last week I was finally able to end it with my boyfriend. My reason behind the break-up, was... how can I say this, a little white lie? I didn't give him the exact reason- why should I? Our discussion turned into a calm, yet adult-like conversation where we both expressed our feelings for one another. We mutually decided that friendship is the best route to take for the moment, considering we get along so well and we are very much alike. So, that's is that. We're still friends :-)

Now that is off my back, I want to write about these emotions I've been experiencing; new emotions, if you will. I'm going to try my very best to express myself. I am experiencing this feeling of... independence? Or is it a feeling of... content? I'm not exactly sure, but what I am certain of, is my decision to be single again. I feel this sense of relief, like a weight was literally lifted off my shoulders. Why use was an explicit metaphor? Because relationships were starting to feel like a chore. I always had to compromise. I always had to stick to my plans. I always have to bring him along or I had to go along with him. We always had to call each other at night before bed. If we didn't call or he started to act out of character, I would freak out.

I am tired of it!

Leave me alone relationships! I'm tired of committing.

The other night I went to sleep at 9p.m. on a SATURDAY NIGHT! I felt relaxed and free! I haven't felt like that in awhile; I mean, going to bed whenever I wanted (if you call you bf/gf every night, you understand what I mean).

When I'm going to work in the morning, I see all these men in their suits, young, tall and handsome, I get excited all over again! I'm looking for someone who fits me, but I'm not looking for just anyone anymore. I'm excited for the future. I'm happy knowing that I'll get that lovely feeling again, but I don't care when (atleast not right now). I want to go out again! I want go out single and have a good laugh with my girlfriends without having my cellphone in one hand and a drink in the other. I AM FREEEE FROM THAT SHIT!

I am happy. I did make the right decision :-)

Good night!