kettamine

kettamine
2011-09-20 21:18:29 (UTC)

Thoughts...

Ok, so recently I found myself going to a diary and reading entries more than a couple time...I was thinking about subscribing. He is a sweet guy...who seems to be having problems with his girlfriend...whom he seems to really genuinely care about. He talks about the things he says and does for her...and their romantic relationship...and he even talks about their physical relationship. Thank God someone else talks about sex...lol...I feel like that is all I do...hehe. I think the thing I find the best about this diary is that there is still a guy out there who is willing to TELL and SHOW the girl he loves how he feels. Yes, I know there are plenty out there. But mine is not really one of those...I mean he tells me he loves me...but its not...IDK...romantic really isn't the right word because he can be romantic in his own way. It just seems like something he feels like he has to do...just to please me...not something he feels like he really wants to do. But anyway...I find myself reading these entries and comparing and thinking "what if" C were like this...or said this...or did this. Im not interested in this guy at all...I love my man...but I do find myself almost wishing for what I was reading...the romance aspect of it. Then I started thinking...is this really fair? Is it fair to C that I am reading someone else s inner most thoughts and comparing? Then I started thinking that it was weird that I was almost in my head equating this guy with people I really KNOW in real life. I mean this is a diary entry...and it is weird that I am reading this stuff every day. I started thinking about how I would feel if there were a certain diary C read just because he was interested in the woman's life...I don't know if I would feel comfortable with that...knowing that comparing was going on..IDK...this is weird...this whole thing is borderline voyeuristic...lmao. I don't think I would be comfortable with it at all.............................................................................................




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