Just My Luck...
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2011-09-19 23:03:31 (UTC)

Not much to say, so I'm just talking about myself

I feel like I should be writing something, but there's not much to write about. I really want R to hold my hand, but what am I supposed to do, force him? I'll either mention it tomorrow or I'll just wait for him to come around. He used to do drugs... I mean, talk about ALWAYS being attracted to the bad boy, right? That's the bad thing about me; I can never just be attracted to the average guy with the average grades and all that stuff about going to collage. I'm in love with the bad boys. You know, the ones with the horrible grades, done drugs at some point... The other creepy thing is I've NEVER, I repeat, NEVER, had a crush on a NORMAL white boy. I may sound racist, call me what you like, but it's true. Not that I have anything against them, I just never have. J is Italian and R is Hispanic and S (I won't be talking about S often) is also Hispanic. But anyways, it kinda makes me sad though because R (and J also, but lets not get of topic again) had been addicted for a long time, and I just didn't know how to cope with it, it just made me hurt inside knowing that he was hurting himself like that. But he gave it all up, and he is trying so hard, and just sitting here in the library typing this, I can feel my heart swelling with pride and love for him, I'm just so proud that he could recognize how much I was hurting for him to give up EVERYTHING. He quit his gang, sold his pipe, sold his gun, sold his knife, and is totally done with everything his life used to focus on... Again, on to the bad boy topic, I really don't get this because my mom rarely went out with any white people either. My step dad is half Philipino, so maybe this strange attraction I have to Hispanics comes from my mom. Now if you start calling me racist, I will stab you, but I'm just saying that's something weird about me :P. So anyways, I guess I COULD find something to write about. And if you stupid adults out there are reading this and wondering how old I am, I'm in 7th grade, and so is everyone I'm talking about (except for those high schoolers that flirted with me on the way here; creeps O.o) so if you guys are freaking out about the drug stuff, adolescence is not what it used to be when you were a kid, so do your best not to judge me or give me any crap about it :)


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