my thoughts

My Journey
2011-08-26 03:47:19 (UTC)

earthquake and now hurricane??...

Wow, what a wild week for weather so far. And I can't believe I didn't write on Tues, day before yesterday, when the earthquake hit.

I'm many miles away from the area where it was measured the highest on the scale, but we felt it here. Very scary. I was sitting on the sofa and it felt like it was vibrating. The fake tree in the corner, the pictures on the wall and the ceiling fan were all shaking and it felt like a dump truck was parked under the floor with the engine running. I thought my house was falling down and went outside to get away from it and to also see if my neighbors were freaking out as much as I was. I didn't see anyone, nothing seemed out of the ordinary and no one seemed to be out and about. So I began to wonder if maybe I was just going crazy and imagined all of it and went back inside. Then the show I was watching was interupted with a special report of an earthquake in Mineral, VA and D.C. I still questioned if it was possible that it was the quake that I felt. So then I logged onto FB and sure enough, the posts were popping up left and right from my friends and neighbors about it. It was crazy. Absolutely crazy.

And now Hurricane Irene is about to land. I don't think we will get much, hopefully we are too far east, we are about a six hour drive away from Norfolk where they are sending the navy ships out to sea to prevent damage to them. I hope and pray that everyone who has been evacuated heeds the warnings and gets out of there. It isn't worth it to stay behind to protect their "stuff" . Stuff can be replaced, lives can't. I pray everyone stays safe.

Other than the weather, the past couple of days have been fairly quiet, thank God. I know it usually doesn't last long. And there is that little wedding thing getting closer and closer. Two weeks from tomorrow is the rehearsal dinner. The flowers, caterer, photographer, music, etc still need to be confirmed, programs for the ceremony need to be printed, and the lady who does my hair has sent word by my daughter that I've waited entirely too long since my last appt and I need to get in to see her this week. Well, tomorrow is Friday and I've got a few things to do and there is a race scheduled tomorrow night, so I doubt I'll make it tomorrow. Maybe Sat or the first of next week.

I've been so freaking emotional this week, I've cried at the drop of a hat. My therapist said today that she wonders if it's in the air. She said she has had several people tell her this week that they have been very emotional and weepy. Monday I was doing the dishes and thinking about several things and I just put my head down on my counter top and just sobbed. I mean one of those body wrenching sobs that seemed to go on forever. And I don't know why. My therapist told me it was probably a combination of thoughts and emotions that just overwhelmed me at that particular moment. She told me not to feel bad about it, sometimes we need a good cry, it will make you feel better. Well, if she says so....... I'm not so sure about that. After my session she informed me that she won't see me again until the 22 of next month. WHAT?!?! All this coming up and I won't see her?!?!?! She said she will be on vacation the week of my next appt and then I will be out of town the week after that. She told me to call them if I need someone to talk to before then. Um, no, she knows I have trust issues and I won't talk to them. She put me on a call list and will call me next week if she has a cancelation. We shall see. Maybe I can make it without her. I need to learn how to at some point and time anyway, right?

I'm a little depressed and hurt that I haven't heard from my daughter this week. I know I just saw her on Sunday, but with everything she has going on right now, and she was supposed to have called me Monday about the florist, I'm just a little down that she hasn't called. But, I haven't called her, I'm just letting her live her life and not bug her. I guess if she needs me she will call. It's just been really difficult letting go, especially when we used to be so close. That's just life I suppose.

Oh, before I forget, I also mentioned to my therapist today about how rude my MIL has been the past few months and how that's not normally like her. She asked me to give her some examples. I told her of a few incidents, she said that her remarks to me were just plain nasty. She asked me if there was dementia in her family, which I don't know. She also pointed out facts like how her daughter, hubby's sister left home at 18 and moved out of state and hardly comes in. Among other incidents and things said in the past that I won't go into right now, she said that she gets the feeling that my MIL doesn't regard women as highly as she does men. This has to do with my SIL not having a very close relationship with her mother and the fact that my MIL always seems to question my hubby's actions and that hubby second guesses himself a lot, maybe he feels like he isn't living up to her expectations. Just a lot of stuff. She told me not to listen to the nasty remarks she makes and whatever she says to not take it personally. Easier said than done.

And then there's the three hour phone conversation I had with a close friend of mine tonight. Her two children are facing possible prison time over drug distribution, her hubby, who is a mess all on his own, got run over by the school bus yesterday while getting their grandson off the bus, she almost lost her job last week because of gossip and office politics.....sheesh, and I thought I was having it bad!!! Bless her heart, all the things that poor woman has been through over the past four or five years, well, I don't see how she has remained sane. I told her that tonight and she just laughed and said she just doesn't have a heart anymore or maybe she was just too stupid to absorb it all. No, she's not too stupid, she just works too much and is too kind to others for her own good. I pray she gets through all her troubles okay. Well, I think I've put most of my thoughts down for tonight. Oh, there's still more, but I'll just keep them in my head for now, I've written a freaking book tonight, yet again. until later........




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