CreativeHeart

LittleBlackBook
2011-08-24 20:57:17 (UTC)

Why Do I Do That?

Ugh.

Why didnt I go through with it?

Just like,10 minutes ago, I was sitting on the floor of my bathroom, ready to slit my wrists.

I spent ages taking apart a razor, just so i could dig the edge into my skin, but I never did.

Why?

There must be some underlying reason.

Not because my boyfriend is basically the definition of amazing.

Maybe I'm just meant to be here for him. Maybe I was born, JUST for him. To make him smile.

So, I have decided, I am living for him. If we break up, I'll still live, just for him. He needs me.

I just wish he would open up to me more. I want to help him.
Yes, he does tell me all this stuff he doesn't tell anyone else, but I feel like I'm missing something.

And I havent been completely honest with him. I never sold myself at any time.

I just like, NEED an excuse to feel the way I feel. I never understand why I feel all these things, so it seems like I need to make up a reason.

And that is why I'm a pathetic, low life liar who should get shot repeatedly.

Currently Listening To:
Perfect-P!NK.




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