Experienced Life
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2011-08-19 01:54:55 (UTC)

Soul mate lost

Hi again diary. It's been a long time since I wrote. Lots of things happened but I won't stick it all in one entry. I found my long lost love through facebook. Yuuuup, the wonders of the internet. Anyway, when found her and put her as a friend, I looked back at her life. Almost thirty years past by since we last kissed.

In that time, she got an education, got married, traveled and still traveling, raised kids and just had what seemed like a wonderful life. I think back to when we were together. Just a couple of young teens full of life. I fell in love with her big time! Over the years, I wondered what happened to her. Her dad was an army surgeon and relocated to Japan. That's how we parted.

For years I thought of her, imagined how it would have been if we still were together and how blissfully happy I would have been. I managed to find some of her high school pics on the internet and that was all I had to go with.

Then came facebook and I found her once again. She lived the life that I thought she would. Like I said, husband, career, children, travel, etc. The works!

I thought of how unfair life is because that is where I should be. I should be with her and not just a guy outside looking in. I loved her for years and had nothing to show for it except for the short memories we had and the many many nights I wished I was with her.

I'd get upset and life and see why?! Why wasn't life fair and how it wasn't right that I didn't share my life with her.

Then it hit me. Life was fair. Life did make the right decisions. The love of my life did get what she deserved. She did find her soul mate and does have a happy life. I just happened to not be the in it. Life did chose the right person for her.

With bittersweet realization, I smile and tear just a little. Yet, if I had the power somehow to turn back time and change things, I wouldn't change a thing for her. She has the perfect life and you don't mess with perfection.

So here's to her. His soul mate. Wishing her more happy years ahead. My moments with her was brief but never forgotten. I'm still thankful even today for the brief moment of contact with her. It reminds me that I still have a heart that can feel such silly things.

That's it for now diary. :)