2011-08-06 21:14:41 (UTC)


I met a guy I was trying to look for a while, and his name's Jonathan. Something gives me a feeling he's different, but I'm not sure. Everyone I knew I thought that was different usually smashed my hopes. But he's insanely nice and kinda cute. He told me was straight. That's fine...I'm used to the rejection. But what mattered more...

he told me he cut.

Like everyone else. Everyone else! Fuck! If he only knew about Louis. Jonathan is amazing and he doesn't have a reason to cut. No reason at all...I know what it's like to become addicted to pain, to smash, burn, cut. All of it... it's the same thing as smoking weed, you just get high. Why do people think their problems go away? They don't. They still exist, and forgetting about them doesn't mean they've been solved.

Either way it goes, I have to stop him from cutting. I'm so scared of him ending up like Louis. Down to my bone scared as soon as he told me my heart dropped and I said it was okay but he knew it wasn't. He already knew it wasn't...and no matter what I do,

like I did for Louis,

I will not let Jonathan go until I shatter every single bad habit,