blueberry

Confessions of a married woman
2011-08-05 17:00:45 (UTC)

Aftermath

So I saw the Shrink.. boy that was weird. I honestly didn't know what to expect since it was my first time, and the results were lame. She didn't aske what I wanted, how I felt, she just wanted me to take the easy way out and drop everything. Realistically that is what I should do but... that's not all I want to do at least not now. I do realize I have wasted a huge chunck of my life already and that I should be living it larger, it's a choice though. I guesss I still have hope for my husband and I, but do i REALLY want that? I don't even know. This blows. Why can't shit be more clear. I haven't heard from my lover boy A :( and that makes me sad. I know he uses me and vice versa, but still... have some compassion for me. He knows how much I miss him when I don't see him for a long time, I tell him. I miss his manly smell.... soo much... but I have my bed that reminds me of him. :)

So my party last week turned out to be VERY fun! The guests were:
Ale & bf
Mon & bf
Mar, Kat, Cel, Mart, An, Jo, Marc, Jen, Cat, Pat, me and later my friend Car came, I hadn't seen Car in a long time! I miss him sometimes. I he was the last one to leave so we had a little adult fun. We talked about children and stuff like that he said he wanted another one but he had to find someone, I told him I wanted one so if he wanted to you know.. we could compromise, he just giggled. At this point in my life, I've never wanted to be a mother so bad. Why is this happening to me right now? It hadn't happend before and all of the sudden it is the main thing that I want? Soooo weird. I guess because all of my friends have children and I feel left out? I don't want that to be the reason though. I want to raise a child well and have him/her be proud of me. We will see.

I don't want to go back to that shrink again, so I'm going to find another one and she how the other one goes, this one didn't do anything for me and that annoys me. She was more concerned about her getting paid than anything, fuck lady I have a free program and two insurance, you're going to get paid.

Well tomorrow is the sweet 15 of my brother-in-law's neice, its going to be grand. I haven't even been shopping for a. clothing, shoes or b. her present! I guess I'll do it today or tomorrow morning, the party isn't till 6 so... I have time tomorrow morning. TOday I'll just go get a manicure and pedicure :).

Ohhhh ohhhh I have really sad news. Remmeber my friend Rob? Well he sent me a text two days ago... in the morning: Hey just wanted to let u know I kinda started seeing someone. I hope we can stay friends. Who knows what'll happen...
OMG it sorta broke my heart.... but it was my fault I never gave him a real chance, not like he was going to wait for me forever! I replied to him:
Aweee... well congrats... and of course we can stay friends. Good luck! Keep in touch.
he replied with:
Thanks
and that was the end of that :( . Oh well. And he seemed like a great guy, he was totally funny and his voice was amazingly sexy and he was extra thin (which is not really my cup of tea) and looked like James Franco...*sigh* oh well, we will see how he does with this girl. Hopefully well. :)

I hope this weekend is a fun one:) Have a great weekend everyone.




Ad: