Yumiko Kimori

Blessed With A Curse
2011-07-31 22:35:18 (UTC)

The Mortician's Daughter

Okay, I know I lied. =/ And it's sooo fucking ironic because a couple days after my last entry, Jake comes back into my life again. How, you may ask?

Well last night he was hanging out with one of his friends that has a crush on me and texts me n stuff. He started texting me on Jake's phone and the dude asked me out. I didn't really like Jake's friend in that way, so I said no. He asked me if I still didn't like Jake, and I said I didn't really have any feelings because all the bad things happened a while ago and I just didn't feel anything about him or the situation anymore. (which is true) He asked me if I wanted to talk to Jake, and I told him that I thought he still hated me. Jake's friend said that he didn't, so I said that I'd talk to him. I felt a little nervous though because it had been over a month since I had last talked to Jake. And it ended very badly. The conversation was actually quite nice. It brought back memories of our old conversations and such. The old Jake. And it was nice, because even though he had a girlfriend it didn't bother me when he talked about her because it had been sooo long. It felt good, actually. I knew I was kind of attracted to him, but not enuff to really bother me. We even kinda flirted with each other. I was still kinda suspicious of him though.

That night really made me feel better. I was feeling a bit depressed these couple of days and it made me feel right again. [OMG it's raining atm n its soooo awesome! yah, i loveeee the rain. and i'm weirdd. :D] I always felt like something was missing, and even after what happened I still wanted to at least be friends with him again. It was kinda weird tho, cuz I always kinda knew we wuld probably end up being friendz again or he wuld end up somehow in my life. But tha way he acted kinda made me feel like the bad Jake waz still around. Idk tho cuz apparently the old Jake was ther enuff tuuh want tuuh be friendz with me again. I just really want to believe that the old Jake's here to stay and that maybe eventually we'll get back together.
But somehow I just can't seem tuuh accept it. I kinda feel like maybe I'm just setting myself up to be let down. I'm just not sure if thing's really will go back to how they used to be. For right now tho, I just want to keep a friend level. I really don't want to fall in love with him again until I can be sure that he really does care and I can trust him. Right now, I'm just trying not tuuh mess things up.

Anyway, I'm gonna go. I mite talk more about it later. TTYL
~Yumiko


I will wait dear
A patience of eternity, my crush.
A universal still, no rust.
No dust will ever grow on this frame,
One million years, I will say your name.
I love you more than I can ever scream.

We booked our flight those years ago,
I said I loved you as I left you.
Regrets still haunt my hollow head
But I promised you,I will see you again, again.
~Black Veil Brides




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