Nick's Journal
2011-07-12 02:39:34 (UTC)

Enjoy this downfall, because I'll be back

how do you avoid that horrible mediocrity? you take that terrible thing called life and you realize that, even though it is the worst thing in the world you will be determined to move on. i realized something, i know this sounds horribly conservative. but family matters more than anything else. it is what binds us.

the strongest bond we can find.

i just wished my niece a happy 5th birthday. it really made me feel so happy. just hearing her little childish voice voice her enthusiasm about the presents she got. i love that her worst problems are properly categorizing the presents she may got. some might find that repulsive but fuck that.

it's beautiful. it is what allows you to transport yourself to a world that is not yours. that's why i am crazy about my nieces and am able to transport myself into their world so easily. i realize how shitty adult life is at times. for all the victories you take a million stabs.

today my boss destroyed me. beyond even throwing me under the bus. but fuck it. i will do my best to move on. that's all i can do. i listen to people and don't trivialize them. that's all they want and that's what i give.

my dad gave me the best advice when he said that all people want is for you to listen them. fuck i hate listening to people's problems, but then i don't. i hear it and my psychopathic persona feels for them. i want to help them and i empathize as much as i can.

so even though this hurts and i fight over and over, all it takes is just a little bit of empathy to make people realize that you can treat this world as though you were still a 5 year old opening presents.

that's my goal.