ReeRee

ReeRee
2011-07-05 01:25:45 (UTC)

I hate myself

Everything just got out of control,,i'm scared of living anymore. The future that I've always dreamed of, the moments that I've expected and just about everything I've hoped for disappear. I'm so stupid, expecting things that are beyond the limit in my life..expecting that my crush would suddenly confess that he loves me, that my friends would just love me with my stupidity, weirdness and randomness, that i will meet my soul mate who is handsome and clever and charming, that my parents are really the people who i thought...who am i kidding??? I'm so fucking childish!!! Believing fairy tales and stupid happy endings that Cinderella and Snow White and Belle had and imagining things that isn't really there,,,and getting my hopes up really high. And here i am depressed when suddenly cold reality slaps me in face, all my hopes and expectations shatter and all i have left is...i don't know,,,nothing...
I hate myself for who i am, hating myself for living in my mind rather than reality. Yes, i'd be happy if everyone just leaves me alone dancing and living in my happy mind,,ahhh, beautiful but what should i do when reality comes and brings hell??? I promise myself to just expect low and not hope and dream anything,.

Tomorrow's expectations: NOTHING but NORMAL, SAD LIFE...




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