The Underground Woman

Out of Spite
2011-07-01 10:19:42 (UTC)

harrased for being honest

April 13th 2011:

Dear diary,
the people in lunch were talking about gays and they were making fun of them. I was trying to defend them. They started to call me a lezbo lover... then i told them that i had once kissed a girl. After that.. they kept asking me if i was a lesbian. They wouldnt let it go.. they started telling the girls in the other classes.

Again and again people kept asking me if i was gay.
Again and again people made me turn around in the locker room.
Again and again people would make me sleep on the floor in sleep overs.

Every single fucking night in Washington DC i slept in a bed by myself... the other three girls slept in one bed. They told me that they had secreats to tell and thats why they couldnt sleep in the same bed with me... what a bunch of BULLSHIT! i know that they didnt want to take a chance that my hand would slip down to their ass or give them a fucking "kiss goodnight." I saw how they looked at me when i asked who was going to sleep with me.
I could have said... "you bitches im not gay... or am i? anywho why the fuck would i wanna grab your ass! besides your not my type anyway..." But no.. i stayed silent... i put on a fucking smile and said "oh ok, well goodnight see you tomarrow"

I might be bi-sexual..
i might be lesbien (though i doubt it.. i like dudes and penis's.)
Or maybe i could just be confused for the time being... i dont know and i wont ever know...
People say it will get better for gays...
Im going to high school... and i dont plan on telling anyone there.
But if i do i know the consequences... and i know it wont be esay and it wont get better.
Alot of teenagers commit suicide for sexual harassment... i might have tried it.. but i didnt die.. even if sometimes i wish i had.

~DEADSOUL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP4clbHc4Xg




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